Tony And Stuff

My buddy Tony sent me another email which included the following warning.  I felt it was worth passing on, so read it and don’t weep.

WARNING FROM POLICE

This is the new thing these days with people out of work and needing cash. Beware, it’s headed our way.

Warning..!!!! Warning..!!!! Warning..!!!!

Just last weekend on Friday night we parked in a public parking area. As we drove away I noticed a sticker on the rear window of the car. When I took it off after I got home, it was a receipt for gas.. Luckily my friend told me not to stop as it could be someone waiting for me to get out of the car.. Then we received this email yesterday:

WARNING FROM POLICE

THIS APPLIES TO BOTH WOMEN AND MEN

BEWARE OF PAPER ON THE BACK WINDOW OF YOUR VEHICLE–NEW WAY TO DO CARJACKINGS (NOT A JOKE)

Heads up everyone! Please, keep this circulating… You walk across the parking lot, unlock your car and get inside. You start the engine and shift into reverse.

When you look into the rearview mirror to back out of your parking space, you notice a piece of paper stuck to the middle of the rear window. So, you shift into Park, unlock your doors, and jump out of your car to remove that paper (or whatever it is) that is obstructing your view. When you reach the back of your car, that is when the carjackers appear out of nowhere, jump into your car and take off.

I met another duh-mb checkout clerk the other day.  Perhaps I should find a more politically-correct way to describe these people.  Folks we used to label as retarded are now special.   Disabled people want to be called differently-abled. I remember Dana Carvey as The Church Lady, on SNL, “Isn’t that special?”  “Dis” means not, opposed to, or reverse of.  If an Olympic pole-vaulter can leap 19 feet, and I can only clear 14, that’s differently–abled.  If you roll up to the pit in your wheel-chair, that’s dis–abled.

Damn!  Did I mention the Olympics?  I had my eyes closed.  Is it over?  Let’s see, there were 53 events, and 203 countries who didn’t get a gold medal.  That’s an impressive pile of 1219 losers.  Does everybody feel good now?

We drink iced tea like other families drink….other stuff.  Three adults go through just over two liters/Am. quarts per day.  We buy the powder, two or three large cans at a time.  We used to buy the Nestle brand, until a co-worker assured me that one of the supermarkets’ house brand was just as good, at just over half the price.

I went a mile north last week to a plaza with a Dollar Store.  While I was there, I picked up several items at the Food Basics store.  When I looked for their brand of iced tea powder, there was none.  I thought nothing of it.  Different stores carry, or not, different items, based on neighborhood buying patterns.

The next day I went a mile south, to the Food Basics store I usually go to, and found that they also had no large containers of iced tea powder.  I took one small can to tide us over, but it was not as affordable.  I kept my eye out for any male staff, dressed in black.  They are the managers, etc.  I didn’t see any by the time I was ready to check out, so, after I had paid, I asked the girl, “Is there anybody I could speak to about availability of your iced tea powder?”

She snatched up the intercom phone and paged Chris to call 203.  It didn’t feel right already, so I said, “Where is he?  I’ll go speak to him.”  The intercom buzzed, she picked it up and said, “Hey Chris, where’s the iced tea powder?”, and then turned to me, and said, “It’s in aisle three.”  I just checked a can out.  I know that much.  I insisted that it wasn’t, and she got all defensive and said, “Well, that’s what you asked.”  No I didn’t.  I very precisely asked if there was someone I could speak to about availability, not store location, if and when you have it.  She’s probably not dumb, just busy.  People see and hear what they expect to see and hear.  Availability is unusual.  Most people ask about location.

She paged Chris-the-blackshirt again.  He came to the front and explained that their supplier was doing a re-labelling, and all sizes might be off the shelf for up to a month.  Couldn’t they keep producing old-labelled stock until the new packaging was ready, to prevent customer loss and complaints?  Now I’ll have to figure out what the new packaging looks like.  I’ll have to grab a few more of the small cans to get us through, or try the store brand at the nearby Great Canadian Super Store – which isn’t a Zehrs market anymore, nor a Loblaw’s, who bought them out.