If you over-indulged a bit (lot?) over the holidays, you may want a look at,
Trying to lose weight can be heavy. Why not lighten the self-deprivation with this spirit-lifting lexicon?
A wiggling, jiggling, giggling class of moaning, groaning, toning klutzes
Baby fat, n.
Appealingly pudgy condition of infants, children, and young adults (not applicable after age nineteen)
Effective, low-calorie device for scraping out the last morsel of peanut butter
Someone never caught in the act of eating
A size 7 who tries on clothes in a community dressing room
Emotional outburst when jeans won’t zip up
To be ten pounds less than one’s ideal weight, so that one can have the joy of gaining it all back
One of two protruding parts of the body used to carry small children, grocery bags, or large cartons of Twinkies
Telling someone else how much weight you have lost on your diet
Justice, poetic, n.
Attending one’s tenth reunion, and discovering that the ninety-pound cheerleader….the one with the most to gain….did
Serious illness most dieters would love to have two to three days a week
Marquis de Sade, n.
Eighteenth-century inventor of Nautilus equipment
New Year’s Eve, n.
Rollicking conclusion of the old year, when one makes a sincere resolution to lose fifteen pounds by January 23
Any dieter who buys a leotard with horizontal stripes
1: A fixed unit of measure found on one’s scale (usually accurate)
2: a fictitious unit of measurement found on one’s driver’s licence (usually inaccurate)
An everlasting pursuit of the perfect pizza
Temporary storage area between grocery bags and the mouth
Handy tool used to cut oneself out of photographs
1: Overactive: God’s gift to Adam
2: Underactive: God’s gift to Eve
The only state in which a dieter is not hungry
Physical defiance of Newton’s Law of Gravity; what goes up, does not necessarily come down
Yin & Yang, n.
Buddhist terms of opposition, taken from the Zen macrobiotic diet
1: the loss of forty-five pounds
2: the loss of one pound, forty-five times
The sound of a dieter not eating
Many thanks to Sandra Bergeson for enabling me to present this light-hearted list to those who will now hate me for doing so.