Ironically Christian

I found a Saint Jude’s medal the other day….and laughed until I could barely breathe.  I guffawed until I was bent over, and my sides hurt.  Why all the mirth and merriment you ask, at least you’d better, if you know what’s good for me.

At first, I thought that I’d found a dime wedged behind a railing at a French-fry wagon.  It was small, round and shiny, with printing on it.  Not until I read it, did I realize what it really was.  I keep my eye open wherever people handle money, and am often rewarded with a stray coin.

People often won’t bother to bend down to pick up a dropped penny, and now the Canadian penny is on its way to extinction.  I also find nickels, dimes, quarters and sometimes even bills.  One day I got 40 pennies from the overflow chute of a coin-counting machine.  My best day was when I picked up a hundred-dollar bill that two other shoppers had walked on, at my Detroit Meijer’s.

The first irony is that someone lost a St. Jude’s medal.  The Catholics followed Church instruction, and, for years, prayed to St. Jude, among their plethora of single-use saints, to help them find lost items.  That’s the second piece of irony.  St. Jude is not the patron saint of lost things; he is/was the patron saint of lost causes.  That’s the third piece of religious irony.  If finding your car keys is a lost cause, what good would come from praying to the guy who represents failure?

I was going to use the word final, but will settle for fourth, because the Catholic Church, and all churches, and all religions, are a rich source of irony and hypocrisy.  The fourth bit of irony is that, after years – centuries, of mindless Church-ordered supplication to St. Jude, the Catholic Church downgraded him, just like the Astronomical Society did to poor minor-planetoid Pluto.

Despite being the go-to guy for the church, apparently they did some checking on his marriage licence.  They found that he didn’t have one.  In a time and place where it was common to take a wife without the Official Blessing of the Church, Jude lived with a woman in a common-law relationship.  After having centuries to discover that fact, and despite the good that the Church claimed he did, suddenly the Unchanging Church revoked his sainthood.  It is now especially ironic that he represented lost causes.  Now, if you lose your car-keys, you have to pray to your husband or wife.  Sorry Jude, no offence.

From this general area of the planet, the Catholic Church has appointed its first Native American (Indian) saint.  A woman, no less, she was born in northern New York, and lived near Montreal.  I don’t know what the big rush is, she’s only been dead since 1680, but you know the Catholic Church, always right on top of things.

She is Saint Kateri, AKA Katherine, Catherine and Kateri Tekawitha.  I’m not sure what she did to win on the big Church show, “So You Think You Can Bless,”…. or was it, “Anointing With The Stars”?  Perhaps she helped Sacajawea get Lewis and Clarke one of those, Buy One Bison, Get The Second One Free, coupons at Wal-Mart.  The Church claims that a young man in the 1700s was cured of smallpox, by being touched with a piece of Kateri’s decayed coffin.  Of course, the beneficent Church insisted that he renounce Protestantism, and become a Catholic before they would treat him.  Sort of the same loving game they played with Pat Morita in 1943.

I’m not sure why, but a local school, full of white kids, was named for this Indian woman, who lived five hundred miles away. The name used to be The Blessed Kateri School.  Now that she’s been given a big promotion into management, the local Catholics want to bask in all the reflected glory they can get.  Despite her only being “Blessed” when the school was named, and the expenses involved, the Church is upgrading the name to The Sainted Kateri School.  I wait for scholastic results to rise.

As you may have surmised, I am greatly underwhelmed by the bureaucratic side of religions.  The reason that I take the occasional swipe at them, is that I unthinkingly believe that they deserve it.  And we all know that the churches are big on unthinking belief.

16 thoughts on “Ironically Christian

  1. Yep…I was going to leave that one word as my reply, but just can’t seem to shut myself up. Dammit! Hypocrisy and lunacy abound the Catholic Church should forever hang its head in collective shame for the horrors and atrocities it has played upon the young and innocent. I probably just insulted half the world with that statement, but growing up Catholic I feel I have justified pain as a result. You understand. I’m fraught with ire and Catholic guilt.


    • Archon's Den says:

      Yep….I wondered about you, and many others when I posted this. When you live inside it, the good the Church does, doesn’t justify the bad it inflicts, even with good intentions. The wife is as wounded as you, or perhaps worse, even fifty years after taking the blue pill, and escaping the Matrix.


      • Unfortunately for me, the priest I disliked the most from my childhood performed the eulogy for my mom’s funeral. She really liked him. I did not. He’s the one that told me in grade 5, after he saw my math mark that ‘at least you’ll make a good housewife’. Asshat is too good a word for him. Ugh…
        as painful to sit through.


  2. Sightsnbytes says:

    interesting post, even for me…a Roman Catholic. I have to ask one thing, where did you get your info? In order to write about historical events, it is always a good thing to post references or else your work is nothing but fiction. Ironically, my birth name is the same as a name St. Jude was also known as. Thaddeus


    • Archon's Den says:

      I knew of your Jude/Thaddeus connection. I have been researching religions, including Catholicism for longer than you’ve been alive, both empirical and print. The wife’s *Good Catholic* family includes two sisters, an aunt, and a great-aunt as nuns, an uncle who’s a priest, and at least two young trainee/intern priests, “adopted” by the family, who subsequently left the Church. My information comes from such a wide range of sources, that I’d have to write a book to give citations just for this little post. Most recently there were articles in the Toronto Sun, the K/W Record and Macleans online magazine. As well, I accessed Wikipedia, and a couple of respectable, but, un-noted online sites.

      You seem aggressively defensive, although, other than my critical, failure to believe what you do, I’m unsure of what. If you have provable facts, as you suggest I should, which refute my data, rather than my opinions, since WordPress is a forum for opinions, feel free to use your site, or my comments section, to present them. Alternatively, email them to me, and I will include them in my study sylabus. I would be most interested. If valid, I am unafraid to admit I’m wrong.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Sightsnbytes says:

        thats why I read your blog…you have integrity for what you write…even if it pisses people off sometimes…notice that I keep coming back. That means that either I am a sucker for punishment or that I enjoy what you write.


  3. Dang it all, they too away St. Jude? He was my go-to guy – most of my LIFE has been hopeless causes! This is frustrating enough to make me go pagan! Now, where is that rune sheet for Baldur? 😉


    • Archon's Den says:

      LadyRyl could direct you to go pagan. I can’t read runes. As a *good Scot*, I can’t speak or read Scottish Gaelic. Without trying to, at least the Sassenach produced a comprehensive, expressive language. 😯


      • On second thought, I think I’ll take a pass on going pagan. After all, I wouldn’t want to be charged with a crime against humanity if photos got out of me dancing naked around a fire, painted blue. 😉


  4. aFrankAngle says:

    All of us have have that thread of hypocrisy embedded in it – thus institutions run by humans share in that hypocrisy … which then lies the biggest challenge – how not to be hypocritical.


    • Archon's Den says:

      An individual can admit to inadvertant error, or repent of hypocrisy, but churches, particularly Catholic, paint themselves into a corner they can’t get out of, by claiming to be inerrant. Like Hermann Goebbels, they tell the Big Lie, and keep telling it. If they get caught, they tell a bigger lie to cover. With people becoming better informed, they become more and more likely to get caught, and then abandoned. Whether true or not, increasingly it seems to the masses, that the Church is not there for them. They are there for the Church and its board of directors.


      • aFrankAngle says:

        Their corporate side does get in the way, plus the double message.


      • Jim Wheeler says:

        @ Archon,

        You said,

        “but churches, particularly Catholic, paint themselves into a corner they can’t get out of, by claiming to be inerrant.”

        Exactly. Thus, all this hoop-la over the Pope resigning. Why does the world’s media abet this nonsense? He is a frail old man who fancies lace skirts and surrounds himself, despite his hypocrite-oath of poverty, with the world’s great art and a rich life style replete with servants. He is the CEO of an organization stultified and moribund in modern nations, steeped in inane tradition and leveraging superstition for growth in the Third World. He was too old when he took the job and now is reaping praise for resigning due to obvious senescence. He deserves not adulation but sighs of relief that unlike his predecessors he even belatedly recognized a kind of reality.

        The next Pope should be careful. If this reality thing were to catch on and people start to think for themselves they just might start thinking they don’t need intermediaries to talk to the Big Guy. Whoops. There goes the company stock.


  5. Sightsnbytes says:

    in the end, we shall see who was right. If I was right I go to heaven. If I was wrong I end up worm food. If you were right you end up worm food, if you are wrong you end up burning in hell…haha…


  6. Great post, but you really got me with the names of the Church TV shows… 😉


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s