Old Faithful

I can’t even rely on the Federal Government to be unreliable.  I posted on the 13th that the office was to mail the son’s passport out on the 21st.  On the 14th, the dog raised a ruckus at an ungodly hour, 11:45 AM.  Well, that’s early for me.  By the time I had on enough clothes to beat an exposure charge, and got to the front door, all that was there was a notice to pick up the envelope the next day.  Not at the postal depot a kilometer down the street, the one four kilometers away, on the edge of town.

Why couldn’t it have been left in our SuperMailbox, a half a block away?  It got mailed early, but these are the people who put the “Self Service” in Postal Service.  I guess this means we’re destined for a trip to the States.  I’ve already booked a room, and paid for it to get a reduced rate.  We’ll be staying 20 miles south of Detroit for a weekend, just to prove we’re Canadians.

The son had an interesting thing happen at his plant the other night.  A guy got locked in a car.  Two well-tanned recent hires come in the same vehicle.  Ahmed drives his friend Abou, in his, new-to-him, van.  When they got to work, Ahmed left the van unlocked.  At first break, Abou wanted to smoke.  Not being a Canadian, to whom 2 C is “a little chilly”, he climbed into Ahmed’s van, and hit the lock button, perhaps to keep the smoke in.

We don’t know if it was a malfunction, or whether it is a childproof feature but, when he went to climb out, the doors wouldn’t unlock, the windows wouldn’t roll down, and the horn wouldn’t sound.  Twenty minutes later, someone found him locked in the van.  They had to find someone to relieve Ahmed on his automatic machine, so that he could go out and unlock.

A 68 year-old female bartender was let go by a hotel chain in Toronto, when they moved operations to a smaller facility.  Her union (which might have been a reason for downsizing) does not have rights at the new operation.  In a fit of entitlement, she now wants to sue the union and the hotel chain for the wages and tips she would have earned until she planned to retire at age 75.

I’d like to feel sympathetic.  I wanted to put in 20 years, and retire at 65 from the auto-plant, but reality intruded.  Not the union, nor the hotel, nor society at large, owes her a job, especially till 75.  Move aside and let someone younger work.  If she’s as good as she thinks she is, and wants to work for sake of the job, I’m sure there is employment somewhere.  If she’s in it for the money, lack of planning on her part, does not constitute an emergency for anyone else.

The East-Indian restaurateur who threw spices in the face of an intruder, bent on assaulting him and his wife and kids, has finally had all charges dismissed.  I saw a lawyer in a TV show the other night, admit that lawyers do not practice justice, they practice law.  The law is a ass, and grinds exceeding slow.

The author of his own misfortune, is an East-Indian import named Sukhvir Sandhu.  This idiot just can’t keep his mouth shut.  He was recently arrested and charged for the sixth time, with drinking and driving.  The last time it happened, he drove away from an accident and into a residential area.  When he was restrained by a retired policeman, he assaulted and threatened him.  In custody, he bragged to police about how much he can drink and still drive, as well as admitting he’d driven away from other crashes.  He blamed his drinking on being bullied in high school because of his name.

In court, he threatened to “hunt down and kill” the police officer who charged him, and warned the court that he would just drink and drive again.  Four months later, he was caught driving while under suspension and impaired.  While in custody he was assaulted by another prisoner.  Gee, I wonder why that happened.  The judge was going to give him a year in jail, but the Crown and the defense agreed to 90 days.  Even knowing that the judge had no sympathy, he still tried to con a better deal.  He tried to talk the judge into giving him 180 days, but served on weekends.  It’s only three months, but I’m glad he’s off the roads, now if we could just get him to shut up.

A “good Christian” in Toronto hit his wife in the head twice with a hammer, and then stabbed a page from the Bible to her chest with a butcher knife.  He stole $200 from her purse and took his girlfriend on a trip.  When arrested, he cursed God for not preventing his homicidal rage.  Just once, I’d like to see one of the “good Christians” either actually be a good Christian, or take personal responsibility for their actions.

The dumb criminal of the week is the genius who took a cab to the Toronto airport, and walked away without paying.  Since there are always lots of cops there, the cabby raised a fuss.  Knowing he was now being pursued, Dumbo ducked into a washroom and tried to conceal an illegal handgun and magazine separately.  They were quickly found.  When he was searched, police seized drugs.  That got them a warrant for his house, where they found ammunition, Tasers, security guard uniforms, and “one gram of ammonium nitrate, a fertilizer that can be used as an explosive.”

Timothy McVeigh needed a ton of this stuff to wound the Murrah building.  One gram wouldn’t out-pop a firecracker.  Thanks very much to the Sun Media, Chicken Little, who tried to frighten readers to increase sales.  It’s always about the money!

23 thoughts on “Old Faithful

  1. Sightsnbytes says:

    in the case of the east indian impaired driver, I think the Canadian government should instate the firing squad for such crimes. good post, I read it while eating my Cheerios!

    Like

  2. Hard to believe these people are able to walk and breathe at the same time. Ugh.

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  3. whiteladyinthehood says:

    Six DWI’s!!! Revoke that sucker’s liscense! (he’s going to kill somebody!)

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    • ladyryl says:

      It wouldn’t matter if they stripped his license away, he would just drive drunk without one… that’s just the kind of moron he is.

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      • Archon's Den says:

        Ryl’s right. Guys like this only care about themselves. We gotta come up with a different plan that is a real solution. They’re so selfish they don’t even think ahead. If the idiot at the airport had Just Paid The Taxi, he wouldn’t be in jail. 🙂

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      • whiteladyinthehood says:

        Well, that’s true! We did have something called car breathalyzers at one time (not sure if they went over well) and you had to breathe into it and if you were drunk, your car wouldn’t start…but again – where there is a will there is a way…

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  4. Jim Wheeler says:

    Good post, Archon. I love dumb criminal stories but only when they get justice. From this account it sounds like justice in the higher latitudes is rather ineffective. Maybe there should be a return to public stocks? Yeah, that’s it, Canadian weather and stocks. 🙂

    Like

    • Archon's Den says:

      Stocks sounds good, with a nice warm Tim Horton’s coffee, just out of reach. 😆 He’s not even the worst of the lot. We’ve recently had one with 11, and one with 13 DUI convictions. It’s just the insufferable arrogance of this one. If you’re caught, suffer your punishment quietly. Nod to the judge, and then go drive drunk again. Don’t assault and threaten and loudly tell the court you’ll do it again. Like the US’s “three strikes”, Canada has a “dangerous offender” clause which puts you in jail forever, but only for felonies, not misdemeanor DUIs. 😦

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  5. Thanks! Lots of good stuff in here today!

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  6. It never ceases to amaze me how stupid people can be. The good Christian that hit his wife I have one thing to say to him and that would be Good Christian my ass.

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  7. Archon's Den says:

    There’s always more than enough stupid to go around, but some people seem to scoop up more than their share. Then they use it to blame God for their failings. 😦

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  8. benzeknees says:

    If there weren’t some dumb criminals, the police would find it hard to arrest them, don’t ya think?

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  9. Great post. Great comments. Nothing left to say.

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  10. Daniel Digby says:

    But 1 gram is enough to make sufficient nitrous oxide to get high. Or maybe he was going to blow up the mouse living in the hole in the wall.

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  11. Archon's Den says:

    I’m not enough of a “recreational chemist” to know that you can make nitrous from fertiliser. A gram would make your Hot Wheels fly, but is it really enough to make a person fly? Blowing up a mouse??! I have a mental image of Wile E. Coyote, receiving a package from the Acme Chemical Supply House. What could possibly go wrong?? 😕

    Like

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