Stuff You Should Know


Vegetarian is an ancient tribal name for the village idiot, who can’t hunt, fish, or start a fire.

The crap that gullible people believe, coupled with thought processes that make a plate of spaghetti look neat and well organized, have led to some of the strangest, often dangerous, shit.  In the Middle Ages, the cognoscenti, the intelligent, educated (?) men noticed that ferns never produced seeds….and yet, ferns grew, and multiplied.  Therefore….Careful!  Don’t hurt yourself on this….fern seeds were invisible.  If you could find and gather enough of these seeds that couldn’t be seen, and ate them, you would become invisible too.  Can you say Dark Ages, or Inquisition??!  Or Westboro, or just Duh!

Once upon a time, (Wasn’t this week!) people had respect for themselves and others, and various institutions.  Perhaps society was a bit too restrictive, and change was an improvement, but the pendulum swung too far the other way.  I blame the hippie generation.  With the best of intentions, they tore society down, but failed to put up anything in its place, and society needs structure.

If it feels good, do it.  Like my young senator, they weren’t doing anything that their parents hadn’t done, but, you damned young fools, that’s what doors are for.  I believe this was the beginning of the downfall of the education system, no penalties, no failures, no need to work.  Spell it as it sounds.

Back then, only criminals committed criminal acts, and if caught, went to jail for them.  One did not break into neighbors’ houses, or steal or vandalize their cars.  One did not steal from neighbor-owned businesses….but, the wheel has turned, and society has changed.

Cities have grown larger, and more impersonal.  Companies are not owned by us, so there are more and more among us who are willing and anxious to steal from and damage them.  Then, if they get caught they blame parents who didn’t raise them well, and teachers who didn’t understand them, and claim they are the victims of some plot.  They’re not criminals!  Give them a GPS anklet and six months of house arrest.

Businesses have had to modify their buildings to reduce loss and shrinkage, two words that mean being stolen from by outsiders, and being stolen from by employees.  Many stores are now laid out so that you can’t get back out the door you came in.

On a trip to South Carolina, the wife and I shopped for groceries at a Piggly-Wiggly store, simply because we’d heard Jeff Foxworthy make fun of them on his comedy albums.  We found out that the entrance doors had no motion sensor on the inside.  As we approached them from the outside, they slid open for us, and a young man lugging a hockey bag zipped out past us, with the head cashier and store manager in hot pursuit through the exit doors.

He’d been spotted on the closed-circuit, dropping meat into the bag.  They were going to approach him, when he used us to facilitate his getaway.  They chased him into the parking lot, but he got into a car and got away.  We got the manager as a bag-boy as we checked out, and I asked what happened.  They had good video shots of him from several cameras, and they got his license number.  The manager said the state troopers would probably be waiting for him by the time he got home.

The same kind of thing happened out near Benzeknees, but the pursuers were too impetuous.  When the thief drove off, he struck and killed a clerk.

Many Canadian stores, including my cheap newspaper favorite, are installing double-bar systems.  As you enter, pushing on the outer bar allows you to open the inner bar.  They’re almost impossible to reach over the inner bar from inside the store, to get the outer bar to release it, and allow egress.

Recently, as the wife and I entered to pick up (and pay for) a few items, we were met by a pair of shoplifting Nuns.  Actually, they had used the pharmacy, which is located at the entrance end of the building.  Since they had nothing else to purchase, they wanted to exit at the nearest door.  We had to explain to them that they would have to go to the other end and show their paid-for packages to a cashier, to sidle out past shoppers checking out.  Neither of them was toting a hockey bag.

Sixteen Amish in eastern Ohio were convicted of hate crimes.  The leader of a strict, break-away sect apparently was miffed that other Amish did not follow him.  Declaring that some of the non-followers were not pious enough, he ordered his sons, and some of their friends, to break into homes in the middle of the night.  Men were pulled from bed, and their beards were cut off.  The two to three-foot long hair of women was lopped off, sometimes down to the scalp.

The suspects argued that the Amish are bound by different rules, guided by their religion, and that the government had no place getting involved in what amounted to a family or church dispute.  It’s the, “My religion is better than your laws.” all over again.  Other Amish testified that the religious teachings and methods of punishment of the firebrand ideologue deviated from standard Amish traditions.

The season of festivals/drive the daughter places, is upon me.  Last Saturday I took her to her BarterWorks meet.  This Saturday will be the Cherry Park Festival.  The wife was busy tonight, pouring beeswax candles for her.  Sunday is a 50 mile drive to visit the crazy cat lady.  Next Saturday will be an Anti-Violence Festival in the big Victoria Park, and Sunday we will visit our friends at the Free Thinkers meeting.  Since the son is doing a week of day shift at work, perhaps he might wish to join us.  I’ll keep you updated, whether you want to be or not.

13 thoughts on “Stuff You Should Know

  1. Kayjai says:

    Obviously the stuff I know is not the stuff I need to know. I’m glad you’re here to remind me to think. I need that sometimes. Sounds like you have some busy days ahead. Stay well and hope your summer is not too hot. We are just getting some nice weather now…probs will be short lived but we are enjoying it.


    • Archon's Den says:

      Oh, there’s no need for much thinking with my stuff. I just felt that we should get our act together and our stories straight, in case the RNC started taking statements. “Who took da cross offa dat school?” “Musta bin dem H’Amish!” 😆


  2. Frank says:

    First of all, the opening of the third paragraph is fabulous. But keep in mind, older generations have a history of blaming younger generations. Music has plenty of good examples: the jazz of the Roaring 20s was ruining society … so was Big Band music …. let alone Elvis …. and then the Beatles and the rest of the British invasion … yep, I can’t forget the rockers of the late 60s or even the rappers of today. However … I hear what you’re saying.


  3. Archon's Den says:

    Decrying the decline of “civilization” has been going on, at least since the Romans or Greeks. Each of us mourns the passing of “our” comfortable, familiar way of doing things, and protests the establishment of a new system. I just feel that the hippies, past and present, have nothing to offer except nihilism. A few of us can live that way, but Society can’t. See how many still cling to religion, politics, or both. The third crutch of solid education has been kicked away. The music I listen to today is The Sounds of Silence. 🙂


  4. It was our generation that decided giving junior a swat across the diaper when he richly deserved it was a criminal offence. As ye sow, so shall ye reap.


  5. BrainRants says:

    I am supposed to be tolerant, but Amish folk trip me the fuck out. Buggies. And that.


    • Archon's Den says:

      We’ve got a bunch of Amish in this area, even if they call themselves Mennonites. I see more than my share of horse’s asses around here, many of them pulling farm wagons. They are everything John E. promised, and less. Does this mean you won’t be stopping around for a visit when you add Canadia to your world empire? 😕 😦


  6. Jim Wheeler says:

    Hmm. On reflection, I actually don’t know for sure whether society’s morals are more degraded now than in the old days. Unless, that is, one goes all the way back to WW II. I’m certain that attitudes were less tolerant of crime and misdemeanors then than now because the external threats brought people closer. Crimes were unpatriotic. But I do know that it’s as bad down here in Missouri as it is up there, Archon.

    Last week, vandals defaced some large civic art in a neighboring town, Pittsburg Kansas. Volunteer groups had labored for something like a year putting it up. Nothing to gain for the punks, just meanness. A month or so ago, more vandals struck a small construction business here in Joplin, smashing windows of vehicles and driving them into fences and each other. They did this three times over three weekends, again with no apparent financial motive.

    An important cross-town intersection was recently completed here to accommodate increased traffic now that we are at the intersection of not one but two interstate highways, I-44 and I-49. It is of advanced design, having high chain-link fencing at all places where vegetarians might be inclined to launch their lean bodies, or maybe rocks, off into the traffic below. If society isn’t behaving better, at least the experts are improving design. Coming soon, large rubber bumpers.


    • Archon's Den says:

      I always am baffled by profitless crime. We up here are also getting the “Don’t jump/don’t throw” barricades. I have no objection to suicides, just don’t mess up the seagull shit on my car by landing on me.


  7. benzeknees says:

    I saw my name in your post & did a triple take! I assume you were referring to a recent crime spree here in Edmonton? Still catching up on my reading, but I finally got to you!


  8. Archon's Den says:

    The newspaper with the article was long gone when I decided to add that little bit of information. Could’ve been Winnipeg, could’ve been Edmonton, could’ve been Calgary – west of Ontario – east of BC. Any excuse to include you in a post. 😀


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