A Dog Named “Sex”
Everybody who has a dog calls him something boring, like Rover or Fido. I call my dog Sex
Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to City Hall to renew his licence, I told the clerk I would like to have a licence for Sex. He said, “I’d like to have one too.” Then I said, “But this is for a dog.” He said he didn’t care what she looked like. Then I said, “You don’t understand. I’ve had Sex since I was nine years old.” He said I must have been quite a kid.
When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the motel clerk that I wanted a room for the wife and me, and a special room for Sex. He told me that every room in the place was for sex. I said, “You don’t understand, Sex keeps me awake at night.” The clerk replied, “Me too.”
One day I entered Sex in a contest, but, before the competition began, the stupid dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there and looking around. I told him I planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me I should have sold my own tickets. “But you don’t understand,” I said, “I had hoped to have Sex on TV.” He called me a show-off.
When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight over custody of the dog. I said, “Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married.” He said, “Me too.” Then I told him that after I was married, Sex left me. He said, “Me too.”
Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over town for him. A cop came up to me and asked, “What are you doing in this alley at 4 in the morning?” I told him I was looking for Sex.
My case comes up next Friday.
The Three Stages Of Sex In A Man’s Life
Tri-Weekly
Try Weekly
Try, Weakly
Three Kinds Of Sex
House Sex
When you’re newly married, and have sex all over the house, in every room.
Bedroom Sex
After you’ve been married for a while, you just have sex in the bedroom.
Hall Sex
After you’ve been married for many, many years, you just pass each other in the hall and say “Fuck You.”
Thank you for coming reading this. If you sex maniacs can get the topic off your minds, I’ll be back in a couple of days.
My dog gets called a lot of things, Sex has never been one of them.
Good one, Archon.
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Wait’ll you hear what we call the cats. 😀
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Great compilation of some really great sex jokes. Yay!
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I thought they might get a rise out of somebody. 😉
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Very funny, Archon. Reminds me of a dog I used to have. He too was always running off and seldom came when I called him. His name was Dammit.
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I’ve got one who comes when I call peanut butter. One of us may be crazy. I hope it’s him. 🙂
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Great sense of humour!!! Thanks for the chuckle
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Them that can – Do. Them that can’t – joke about it. 😦
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hahahaha
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Is that a “with me” or “at me” hahahaha??! 😕
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Archon, I’m always “with” you dude!
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😀
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So funny! I love this one.
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Thanx. There’ll be more. Sadly, not about sex. 😦
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ROFL!
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I forgot one, a crossword puzzle clue, three letters, first one S, last one X, “It’s better if there’s two” – the answer, of course, is SOX! 🙄
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