I Wish You Hadn’t Said That

Being a rant about the things that people write without thinking, mostly, but not entirely, incorrect homonyms.  Crossword puzzles still irk me when the creators don’t really know what they’re talking about.  The Canadian province Alberta, can be rendered AB, Alt. or Alta, but not Alba.  That’s another name for Scotland.

“Refrain from” does not mean cease.  Refrain means not doing something.  Cease means you’re already doing it and must stop.  A video was titled “crazy way to tow a bus”, and showed it being pushed.  Towed means being pulled.  Pushed means not being towed.

Connotation vs. denotation means, what people think things mean, instead of what they really do mean.  Often secondary meanings become so common that the original gets lost.  If I were hungry, I might be a little testy, but peckish means hungry, not testy.  I get a bit testy when people don’t know that.

Ordinary folk using the wrong word is common, but it especially irks me when someone who really should know, doesn’t.  Probably not old enough to remember wringer washing-machines, the female leader of a Provincial political party claimed that, “The Liberals are putting us through the ringer.”  What a ding-a-ling.

The editor of an on-line publishing company got rid of a troublesome client, and wrote, “Good riddens to bad rubbish.” apparently not knowing the existence of the word riddance, and that riddens is not a word in English.

A successful author’s character, “Reloaded his weapons, and checked his partner’s ordinance.”  There’s a law against that, because weaponry is ordnance.  This man has three university degrees, works for NASA, and has six successful books – just not a publisher with a proof-reader.

“Grant shirked back into his leather duster” and the author shirked his duty to discover that the correct word is shucked – to remove from, or in this case, return to, an outer covering.

“I’m not the kind of mother who pawns her children off.”  I didn’t know you could get money for the little ba….bies.  She should use some to catch a magic show.  Closely watching a card trick will show you how the performer palms the card.

For all intensive purposes – or, for all intense and purposes.  My intents (intentions) and purpose is to remind people to think about the correct word.

I despair of ever having the general public correctly use the forms of lie and lay.  Misusage is endemic in newspapers, and on TV.  “Danny DeVito and his wife laid low.”  If you are “laid low” you’re dead.  Lay requires a noun to perform its action on.  Lie doesn’t.  You can lie down, and lay your head on a pillow.  You can lay your mistress, and lie to your wife about it.

I am sadly amused by those who are illiterate enough to not know that the word segue is pronounced seg-way, but have the arrogance to “correct” it by writing segue-way.  I mentioned it to the great Edward Hotspur when he did it, and was promptly run over by his turbo-charged ego.

We go back to the pawnshop for the story of a young man and woman who hocked their virginity online.  In aggressively promoting something for sale, they hawked the product.  A businessman offered Brittany Spears $2 million for her virginity.  This gal got $68,000!  The guy just got a lot of people shaking their heads.

A man who’s reputation preceded him should have thought, damn it, if it has an apostrophe, it’s an abbreviation.  Whose yer English teacher?

A woman wanted to sell an original addition of War and Peace.  Damn, it’s long enough already!  Why would you want to increase it?  Another genius wanted to sell a Star Wars action figure – Job of the Hut.  I thought nerds could read and write.

They failed to chalk the truck in place, after arriving early to get a good birth on the ferry, and its parking breaks failed.  This author/book must take some sort of prize for having the most mistakes in one sentence.  I’m sure you already know, but the correct words are chock, berth, and brakes.

After seen the video, or, I seen the video.  One wrong word taking the places of both seeing, and saw.

He hit one out of the part.  What!!?  Let’s hope that was just a baseball typo.

It meant that, simply foot…  Simply put, I don’t even want to know what the author thought the word foot meant in that context, oh damn, that thought word again.

For sale – radio arm saw.  I wonder if it’s AM/FM.  I have a bionic shoulder.  What’s a radio arm?

Don’t say anymore, the game’s a foot, just proves that two words don’t mean the same as a single compound word.  Allot means to divide, or portion out.  I see that a lotAlot is a lot closer, but still not proper English.

It is not a case and point.  It is a case in point, in case no-one pointed that out.  And it’s neck and neck, side by side, not neck in neck, which is impossible.  Think damn it!

A palace spokesman changed his tact.  If he’d been a sailor, he’d have correctly changed his tack.

There was wed paint on the rod iron railing.  I know you got the wet paint.  Did you know the railing was wrought iron?  Hogs get into chicken coups…and cause double entenders.  Hey, if you can’t handle English, stay away from French or someone could get hurt.

The wing snapped off the plane, and it augured into the ground.  Well, I could have foretold that.  The spirally thing you’re vaguely thinking of, is an auger.  While we’re talking about machine-tools, she wore a fancy broach on her lapel.  Not my Mom, she wore a brooch.

For better or words, (Ow! Ow! Ow!) that’s all my rants for this time.  Come back soon and I’ll tell you a funny story.

25 thoughts on “I Wish You Hadn’t Said That

  1. Holy crap – my writing must drive you around the bend! In my defence – with sincere apologies for my “its” and “it’s” malfunction – I’m the product of a 1960″s learning experiment. In grade 3 the school district gave IQ tests to all students. The top 30 were plucked from the regular school system and deposited in “major works”. Grade 3 – 7 we were encouraged to learn anything we felt like. I read lots of books – hey, I felt like it. I missed basic grammer, math, and science – never did catch up. The experiment was scraped as a resounding failure. 🙂

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    • Archon's Den says:

      I can forgive the younger generation(s), because many of them have been subjected to these non-learning experiments. It’s why I advocate for a return to the four Rs, Readin’, ‘Ritin’, ‘Rithmetic, and Rote learning. I’m a bit older than you, but even people who were in my English class, still write shit like these. At least you’re trying. Those who don’t/won’t try, but insist on babbling with their fingers on a keyboard, irk me. An editor, who writes “Riddens“??! 🙂

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  2. BrainRants says:

    I recall the treatment that idiot Hotspur gave you – trust me he came off like the arrogant, small-dicked fuckwad that he is. I always like these rants of yours on the violations of English (‘Merican or Canadian version) because they’re always illuminating.

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  3. Hansi says:

    I too get pissed at people who ain’t no good at talking the English language 🙂

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  4. benzeknees says:

    I got heck from my senior high English teacher for using “tumbledown” to describe a shack in a short story I wrote. He made a notation – no such word on my paper. I countered with bringing in the English dictionary the next day & getting my full marks back. Must go now, I’m a bit peckish – time for breakfast!

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    • Archon's Den says:

      Good for standing up for yourself! Breakfast at noon?? Are you flying Archon Airways? 😕

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      • benzeknees says:

        Glad to see you made the time conversion Archon. Yes, breakfast at noon or even 3 p.m. is not unusual for me. When I first get up I cannot eat anything. I think this is still a reaction to my pregnancy over 30 years ago when I could not eat ANYTHING for 5 months. Anyway, now it’s habit to get up & work on blogging until I get very hungry & then whatever time that is – it’s when I eat breakfast.

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    • shimoniac says:

      I know what you felt like. I was penalized for using `Firstly’ in an essay. I didn’t even have to leave the classroom to find a dictionary to show the teacher. I got the marks back, plus one.

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  5. whiteladyinthehood says:

    I think you should create your own crossword puzzles! You can call them, “The Impeccable Puzzles.” (it’s in your blood, Archon)

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  6. Archon's Den says:

    I’d call them the Impeckish-able Puzzles. There’d be so many lunch and snack breaks, I’d never get one finished. 🙄

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  7. rarasaur says:

    “Good riddens”… that’s painful to even see typed.

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  8. aFrankAngle says:

    Nothing like Archonian Wordsmithing … after all, it’s one of a kind … and glad to see you connected with Hansi, a fellow geezer.

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  9. Sightsnbytes says:

    I see what you see…poor grammar drives me insane!

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    • Archon's Den says:

      “When I was a boy”, one mistake in a book was remarkable. Since the ’60’s experiments that Notes, above, and many others were exposed to, three mistakes in one sentence is acceptable. I know that you want better for your little (?) guy. 🙂

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      • Sightsnbytes says:

        in the school where my kid is being taught, spelling is no longer important. neither is grammar or sentence structure. It drives me crazy. how do you learn to read when you don’t know word structure or phonics? As a kid, I was ‘hooked on phonics’,

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  10. Archon's Den says:

    With chronically infected tonsils, which eventually had to be removed, and a burst appendix (another operation), the wife missed out on phonics, and struggles to this day with proper usage, construction and pronunciation. 😦

    Sadly, with texting, Twitter-speak, and auto-correct, kids, and their teachers, don’t see the need to learn the breadth and nuances of the language. Everything is written in 140 characters, or less. FYI, LOL, IMHO, LMFAO, WTF! 🙄

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  11. Jim Wheeler says:

    Grammar is important to clear thinking. One wonders whether the word “grammar” is still in most people’s active vocabularies these days.

    My nomination for one of the more irritating word-farts these days: “anyways”. Where did that come from? Anyone?

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