Triviana Too

Just so that I don’t concentrate too much on you guys and lose my touch, I had an op-ed letter printed the other day, giving some whiney bitch shit.  She wants to live in an apartment facing a main street and sit out on the balcony.

First she whined about the traffic noise of cars and trucks, then she bitched about motorcycles “with no mufflers, i.e. straight pipes.”  No manufacturer should be allowed to make or sell them, and the police should stop ignoring them, and press charges for excess noise.

The newspaper allowed me to point out that it is already illegal for any manufacturer to make or sell bikes “with no mufflers i.e. straight pipes.”  I also emphasised that motorcyclists are the most heavily harassed group on the road.  Anyone fool enough to go with straight pipes would almost immediately be pulled over.

A biker in B.C. was stopped for excess noise and told to have the problem checked/solved.  When he reported to the officer the next day, he was given a noise ticket because he didn’t use the bike shop the police officer demanded he use.  Many bikes emit a higher, sharper exhaust note than cars.  They can be noticeable even when they’re well within legal guidelines.  If she don’t like the noise, she could move to an apartment on a quieter street.  I know it’ll be quieter when she’s gone.

I fell off the couch laughing the other night.  Several years ago, we had a brewery strike, and beer had to be brought in from the U.S., opening the Canadian market.  Now, many American brands are made here to Canadian specs.  Coors is advertising a new Coors Lite – Platinum – with 6% alcohol.  Thicker than the usual Canadian slop, it can hardly be considered a Lite beer.

A few years ago the youngest senator ever, was elected.  He was just a couple of months over the minimum age.  Being a little more vital, and a lot less cautious and repressed than most of his peers, he carried on badly – booze, drugs, parties, women, putting the entire senate in the media and in a bad light.  One of the older senators called him in for a little talk about his actions.

He did not take the criticism well.  He yelled back that they were all hypocrites.  He told the old senator that, “I’m not doing anything that the rest of you aren’t doing behind closed doors.”  The old man replied, “You damned young fool!  That’s what doors are for!”

The wife and I watch a fair amount of British telly on the Knowledge Network, out of B.C.  Since they don’t include commercials, there is always time to fill, at the end of an hour or half-hour.  At least once a week they play a 1979 video with sound and music, but no dialog, about a small dairy.  They appear to be making cheese.  The amounts of milk seemed even smaller than at the little dairy in my home town.

The second or third time I saw it, I made out the name Bannia.  Googling that, I found that Bannia is an Italian town on the European mainland, north and east of Venice.  This little dairy is world-famous for its goat cheese.  This is the area where the wife’s Italian ancestors came from, and explains her allergies to cow’s-milk.  Only goats can be raised in this steep mountainous region.  There were no cows, so her ancestors never developed the enzymes necessary to digest the milk.  There’s a lot of European cheeses at the Eurofood store, but I don’t remember seeing Bannia goat-cheese.  I wonder if AFrankAngle ever has.

What’s in a name?  $75,000 of my money!  After paying that much to a consulting firm, the name of the white-elephant street railroad has been decided as Ion.  The name is particularly apt.  If you turn it upside down, it reads iou.  Pat, I’d like to buy a vowel, at $25,000 each.

I am linguistically irked at the media’s continuing cutesy references to Christina Aguilera, as Xtina.  If you remove Christ from Christmas by writing it as Xmas, as many Bible thumpers complain, when you remove the “Christ” from Christina, all you have left is Xina, and we’ve already had that lesbian TV show.

My statistics page continues to astound and amuse me.  Occasionally I see two views and one viewer, but both views are the same post, and my one viewer is from Canada – and Poland.  I’d believe in a border crosser if it were Canada and the US.  There’s a pair of search terms that make me chuckle.  They are, “Unknown search term” and “Other search term.”  Aren’t they both unknown?  Or does WordPress want me to ask nicely, or offer to pay, to find out?

In the auto-parts plant, everything had to be labeled to pass QS 9000 accountability regulations.  One day I noticed a label on my garbage pail.  Part No. was, N/A.  Quantity was, N/A.  Status was, OK to scrap.  Description was, GARBAGE for compactor.  Next operation was, Transport to Landfill.  The part that perplexed me was under Lot Traceability, where bold print insisted NO FOREIGN/OTHER MATERIAL ALLOWED.  Despite a written request, I was never informed as to what constituted foreign material, French berets?  Discarded sushi?

The forming ovens which heated the vinyl sheets, had a lever-controlled damper for fine temperature control.  When the little clerk responsible for establishing the QS9000 paperwork came out, he asked one of the workers what the range was.  He was told that it could be anywhere from full-open, to full-closed.  The next day there was a label on it giving the range from 0% to 100%, and a snarky instruction not to exceed those limits.

Well, after whirling through this post, my mind has finally settled down.  I hope yours does soon, too.  Next post, a single, cohesive theme, a little left-field maybe, but a single theme, I promise.  I think we both deserve a nap.

13 thoughts on “Triviana Too

  1. BrainRants says:

    Archon, this is one of your finest rants. I want to try your Coors ‘Lite’ version.


    • Archon's Den says:

      Surly??! Why you young whipper-snapper. I’d give you a piece of my mind, if I could spare it….oops, that was another blog. Please disregard. 😉 😀

      You’re on your own with the Coors. Canadian beer is bad enough. American-Canadian beer is worse, even at 6%. I’ll review books, but not this brain befuddler.


  2. benzeknees says:

    Sounds like you really do need a nap. A little out of temper?


  3. aFrankAngle says:

    I say, if a person wants quiet from traffic, don’t live along a busy street! In terms of the goat cheese, I haven’t been to Bannia nor am I familiar with their goat cheese. But as one being lactose intolerant, I’m aware that goat cheese is fine and dandy. Glad I was about to bump your starts today.


    • Archon's Den says:

      Buy a house a mile from the airport, and complain about the take-off noise – buy a house in the new subdivision right next to the landfill, and complain about the smell??! Some folks just aren’t happy unless they’re unhappy. 😦

      It may be another symptom of urban dichotomy. Kitchener has the Polish-based Eurofood deli. Waterloo has a larger, grander, Italian, Vincenzo’s deli. I asked the cheese department manager about Bannia this past week. She checked her computer list of suppliers, but had never heard of it. Lots of other choices for those among us lactose intolerant. Vincenzo’s even had formagia bufala – buffalo cheese. Actual Asian-type buffalo, or American bison? Not a lot of either in Italy.


  4. whiteladyinthehood says:

    I like me a glass of good ole cold cow’s milk – it goes good with breakfast. I wouldn’t eat the little goats, but I’ve had their cheese – it’s mighty tasty!


  5. Archon's Den says:

    There are different goat cheeses, some better than others. Bannia is supposed to be one of the best. With the grandson’s allergy to cow products, the daughter has treated him to some gourmet-quality goat cheese dishes over the years.

    I worked with a white girl who had married a Jamaican. She had to cook half a goat for his family and friends every Sunday. It’s an acquired taste – and every Sunday? She often just wanted to order a pizza. 😦


  6. Kayjai says:

    Wait..I live really close to the airport. Should I complain about my house shaking when the military planes fly and hover over ma backyard?! No, dammit we Newfoundlanders wave and ask them to land for tea!


  7. Jim Wheeler says:

    I dunno what the law on motorcycle noise is down here, but it is either weak or not enforced. We live a good quarter mile (0.4 kilometer to you) from a 5-lane and can hear the crotch-rockets clearly from inside the house a few times most evenings. Not a major problem, more of momentary wonderment. Maybe we should get Canadian laws?


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s