Minutia II

I don’t know whether or not BrainRants wears his when he’s driving, but I saw a post the other day which said that the worst of the bad drivers out there, wear hats.  It could be Dapper Old Dude, with his outdated fedora.  It might be Society Doyenne, the Red Hat lady.  It could even be DUI Doublewide, the reckless redneck, with the bill of his Busch NASCAR cap down his neck.

If they’re going too fast, or too slow for driving conditions, if they’re blocking the passing lane or weaving in and out, cutting people off, there’s a good chance they’re wearing headgear of some type.  If you pull up behind one of them, you might have an urge to try another street or road, but it’s no use.  Their cap-wearing compadres are on that one too.

I saw Doublewide in a video the other day.  He was trying to watch a ball-game, with the extra-long visor of his ball-cap covering his red-neck, and holding his hand out from his forehead, to block the sun, so that he could see what was happening on the field.  Hey, Dummy, that’s what visors are for; you got your head on backwards!  Are you so dumb you can’t even drive a hat?

I recently posted about what Canada isn’t.  It’s interesting, and sometimes disappointing to see what grabs people’s attention.  When I checked, I found that the tag, “Igloos” had caught 27 views, but the “Patriotism” tag had yielded zero.

I’m not a fan of blind, Jingoistic Patriotism.  Like religion and politics, it often goes too far.  In 1775, Samuel Johnson said that, “Patriotism is the last refuge of the scoundrel.”  But really??!  No views for Patriotism?  It’s why guys like BrainRants are necessary.  As long as the cell phones are charged, and the lattes are hot – let someone else worry about it.

Back when I first set my blogsite up, and before I knew about luring visitors with tags and categories, one of the labels I put on my posts was Printed S**t.  I used that to not look uncouth.  When I found out about search terms, I changed it to Printed Shit.  I might as well have just left it as it was.  Like Patriotism, I’ve never seen anyone else ever use it.  ….maybe if I changed it to Porn??

I recently watched a video of a wedding.  Instead of the instrumental Wedding Processional, the preacher sang them down the aisle – and did a great job of it too, sort of a Katholic Karaoke.  As the videographer panned from the minister to the bridal party, the shot took in the front of the lectern.  I don’t know what church it was, or where, but the name apparently had the initials S and H, superimposed.  It just looked like a giant dollar sign to me.   $

Dictionary.com, my electronic source of linguistic values, is beginning to seriously disappoint me.  Five times in the last month, it has shrugged its little shoulders and told me the word I was asking about didn’t exist.  I’m not talking about monster words like sesquipedalian.  The last one I tried to look up was cyser.  It’s a good thing that Google and Wiki know about them.  Cyser is merely an apple-flavored mead.

Speaking of shortbreads, (We weren’t??!) BrainRants recently emailed me for some assembly/cooking details of my mother’s/wife’s shortbreads.  Apparently Mama Rants is willing to have a try at making some.  So used to only making them at Christmas, it threw me for a bigger loop than I’m usually in.  I told him to contact us for any further help, and possibly make the bake the subject of a post.  I haven’t heard from him, or seen any results, but, if you smell something nice baking in eastern Kansas.  ….just sayin’.

Everything old is new again.  I made my grandson aware of Lonnie Donegan, a 1960s, British singer of nonsense songs, like the Americans, Ray Stevens or Jim Stafford.  Now he has chewing gum on his bedpost, and a passel of similar songs, in his computer’s music files.

His Mom mentioned the great British comic, Benny Hill, from twenty years before his birth.  Soon he was trolling YouTube and laughing his ass head off.  She has got us DVD sets of British programs like Lewis, and Poirot, and promised that she would get him a big Benny Hill collection for his birthday.  Oh wait, was that supposed to be a surprise??

Music lovers are going back to vinyl records, and more and more artists are releasing in that medium again.  The grandson picked up what, at first glance, seems to be a small, overnight suitcase but, when opened, is an amp/turntable combo which can play 45s and 33 RPM albums.  Of course, it can also burn a CD of the record being played.  I plan to offer him a good-quality pair of ear-muff type stereo headphones which we haven’t used for years.


17 thoughts on “Minutia II

  1. 1jaded1 says:

    Omgawd…where to start. Rants driving in a hat…my friends had a saying that if someone was driving 30 in a 45, they must be wearing a hat.

    Katholic Kareoke…that might make me return to the church for laughs…that statement solidifies my place in Hell.

    Benny Hill fn hilarious…as is this post.


  2. Archon's Den says:

    After collecting the offering, they have an animal show, with Gladly, the cross-eyed bear. I’ll be right beside you, with a balloon full of Holy Water. 🙄


  3. paulaacton says:

    Have you started him on Monty Python or Fawlty Towers yet?


  4. My brain damage won’t allow assimilation of all your points 🙂 I’ll tell you a road rage story (one involving a penis but no hats )

    Stopped at a light I saw driver A cut in front of driver B in a most un -polite way. Driver B called out “watch it you idiot” , driver A took exception. His wife and young son in the car were helpless as enraged “idiot” jumps out, unzips his pants, pulls out his penis and tells driver B to “suck on it”. Holy crap!

    As for patriotism – Canadians don’t advertize it the way Americans do. (we’re low key) This Canadian can state with conviction how much Canada means to me. I hold that in my heart, and offer this song by Stompin Tom Connors….


    • Archon's Den says:

      And Ted over at SightNBytes thinks I live in a dangerous city??!
      With a largely American readership, I would still have expected more reaction to Patriotism. Thanx for Stompin’ Tom’s Canadian take on it. He played in a hotel bar in my home town several times on his way up.


      • America is messed up – I fear the rise of gun slinging “patriots” is slowly unraveling patriotism. Patriotism alludes to a country united – not a country divided and hell bent on taking down the Democrats 🙂


  5. Dan Antion says:

    Unfortunately, I notice almost every type of bad driver you mentioned during my commute. I’m going to start looking for hats. I enjoyed this collection of stuff. My daughter stRted collecting vinyl several years ago. It’s funny to see her get up and turn a record to the second side.


    • Archon's Den says:

      Death, and taxes, and lousy drivers – oh, and stupidity. Things we can be sure of. I assume you remove your lovely headgear before buckling up. The grandson got all our now-unplayable albums and 45s too. 🙂


  6. BrainRants says:

    I only drive with a hat when in uniform, but that’s 95% of the time. Mama Rants has yet to try the shortbread, so this is why I’ve not said anything.


    • Archon's Den says:

      As I suspected, you get the Military Exemption on the whole hat/lousy driving thing.
      Will the shortbreads have to wait until after reposting? If you start to see folks driving around, with their noses out the window….
      Oops! Sorry! Cute, but not mine to post – as I thought afterwards.


  7. Jim Wheeler says:

    I too have long noticed that the most reckless drivers are capped, and that the reversal seems to accentuate the correlation. It may be some kind of uniform instinct (no offense intended to you, Rants). I’m thinking that if most of the reversed cap guys got out of the car, I’d see their pants at half-staff with their skivvies showing.

    And speaking of lids, a tip of the hat to Notes To Ponder for his Tom Connors song – I enjoyed that. 🙂


  8. benzeknees says:

    I have always known – traffic snarl – look for the old man in a cap! Accident up ahead – where’s the old man in a hat? Bridge completely blocked – look for the little old lady whose hat is the only thing that can be seen over the steering wheel!


    • Archon's Den says:

      It’s not always the old fogies. I, just now, got honked at by some young chick in a parking lot, as I tried to back out of a spot. She was doing 50 Km/h across the lot, in a car that already looked like it should have a crash-test dummy driving, with her ponytail streaming out the back of a ball-cap. If she’d hit me, it would have done $200 worth of improvement to her car. 😉 😀


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