Flash Fiction #36









PHOTO PROMPT – Copyright – Melanie Greenwood



Does the long rail go on this side??  No, it can’t, the clip doesn’t fit!? Are you sure that this is a water-bed frame?  It’s looking more like a wardrobe.

Take that short piece back off the top.  These assembly instructions are like a maze.  They would be easier to understand if they were written in Urdu.

What’s with these little stick men??….Is that one giving me the finger?

I hurt my back loading this thing in the van.  That’s the last time we buy furniture from IKEA.  Next time, we buy something already assembled, and let Sears deliver it.


Go to Rochelle’s Addicted to Purple site and use her Wednesday photo as a prompt to write a complete 100 word story.


25 thoughts on “Flash Fiction #36

  1. wildbilbo says:

    I liked this a lot – although I wonder if its mostly because I distinctly recall IKEA being responsible for a 3 hour strain on my marriage when we had to build a TV unit.

    Never again, I don’t care how cheap your meatballs are.



    • Archon's Den says:

      I’ve never had their meatballs. The nearest is an hour’s drive away. I’ve also never been mocked by little stick men. The TV unit and storage cupboards I’ve had to assemble have always come with clearer, written instructions. Being here in Canada, some of them I’ve had to turn the French version to the bottom. 😕

      Liked by 2 people

  2. BrainRants says:

    Ikea is a subsidiary of the devil. I’d rather whittle shit out of a tree with a rusty spoon.


  3. draliman says:

    Sounds eerily familiar. Ah, memories 🙂


  4. Hilarious, Archon. I loved the bit about the stick man. 😀 Probably the reason I can laugh is I’ve never ordered anything from there. 🙂 — Suzanne


    • Archon's Den says:

      There are aspects of American culture which are just as well not spread world-wide – even if this one is Swedish. I would hope that there are still artisans in India who can produce functional furniture. 🙂


  5. It is funny to me too! No self assembly furntiure for me unless it comes with a man to do it for me. 😀


  6. aFrankAngle says:

    Anyone having bought furniture at IKEA would have to laugh. Well done!!


  7. Margaret says:

    Is it still possible to buy furniture already assembled? That’s encouraging. Fun story.


    • Archon's Den says:

      We just bought a power recliner from La-Z-Boy, and had to pull the back off the base, put it in the backseat of the car, stuff the base in the trunk, and drive home with the lid bungeed partly down. As to finished wooden furniture??? I’m pretty sure you can still find it. 😯


  8. Dear Archon,

    That delivery doesn’t always work either. A few years back we bought a trundle/daybed and had it delivered. The guys set it up for us. Naturally we figured they knew what they were doing, right? The bed was supposed to make up into a king size bed but we could never get the two mattresses even. One day we were making it up for imminent company and I commented that the trundle bed was hard to make up because of the prongs on the frame grabbing the sheets. We looked at each other for a moment with light dawning. My husband turned the frame over. Voila! No more prongs and the mattresses shored up the way they were supposed to.

    As for those DIY instructions…hahahahahahah…fuhget about it.




  9. I wholeheartedly agree. Buy it assembled or have a handyman put it together. Better assembled, because my experience even with a handyman is that something still arrives broken, unable to fit, or missing in action.



  10. Amy Reese says:

    Ha! Love it. IKEA sounds good in theory until you take it home and have to build the thing. Oh yes, I’ve had this experience, and because we couldn’t follow the maze-like instructions, it usually breaks. Great story.


    • Archon's Den says:

      My little home town of 2000 had three factories which made furniture out of real wood. My first summer job, in 1960, was at an RCA plant 25 miles away. It was the first time I ever saw ‘chipboard’ – the beginning of the end. 😦 The hell of DIY assembly was still to come. 😯

      Liked by 1 person

  11. It looks like I’m in a minority here, as I’m rather fond of IKEA. In fact, I’m slightly aroused over the impending grand opening of an IKEA roughly five minutes from the house…


    • Archon's Den says:

      There are two Ikea stores, each an hour drive away, in different directions. The only interest I have is in the Swedish meatballs. I’m told that the stores are as much of a labyrinth as their instructions. Perhaps an afternoon spent as an adventure…. 😕
      The wife has already found the joys of buying delivered DIY furniture online from Wayfair. 🙄


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