Pros And Cons

There have always been ways to separate the gullible from their money, but the internet has provided the pros with a method to practice their cons, quicker, easier, more anonymously, and over a much wider scope.

I resentfully awoke the other day, 2 hours before my much-needed beauty sleep normally ended, to a ringing telephone.  Sullenly answering it, I was assailed by a too-perky, recorded female voice informing me that her corporation was aware that I was paying too high an interest rate on my credit card (How?), and this was my last chance….Yadda, Yadda, Yadda!  Bottom line – pay money.

At the end of the recording, the voice said, “If you no longer wish to receive these notifications, press 2 now.”  If this was my last chance, why do I continue to receive 2 or 3 of these calls every week?  And you can push that number 2 till it falls off the phone, the wife has stabbed it dozens of times, yet the calls persist.

We used to get about the same number of calls from some Paki, who told us that he was from Microsoft, and they had noticed that we had problems with our computer (again, how?!  hundreds of millions of computers, and you noticed a problem, on mine?).  Even many users with MSN.com as their home page, didn’t recognize a Microsoft connection.

Perhaps Microsoft threatened legal action of some sort.  Now they tell you that they are from “the Word Program Department,” and if you’ll just perform their electronic voodoo, and let them take over your computer, they’ll fix it all better – right after they empty your bank accounts and max out your credit cards.

When the wife has the time and patience, she lets them babble their spiel, and then acts all confused, “because we only have Macs in the house, and we don’t use a Word program on them.”

Despite the Do Not Call List, which they can’t read in Pakistan, we continue to get calls for various duct-cleaning services.  The disabled daughter lives in a one-floor housing unit with no basement.  She recently told us how she stopped all these calls.  Quite truthfully, she told them all that her unit is heated with electric baseboard heaters – no ducts!  The wife had a chance to use that line on Sunday morning.  Feel free to try it yourself.

While I was out running a few errands the other day, the doorbell rang.  Since the wife wasn’t feeling well, she didn’t go downstairs to answer it.  When I returned home, there was a brightly-printed flyer hanging from the mailbox.  It was from the Jehovah’s Witnesses.  Apparently, if they don’t get the chance to personally beat you with a copy of The Watchtower, like a dog shitting on your lawn, they leave this crap behind.

Even worse, when I more closely examined it, I found that they have their own website, JW.com, and a QR code printed on the corner of the sheet.  You can find everything you wanted to know about the Jovies by scanning this with your Smartphone.  I learned everything I wanted to know about them from the fact that they come around, uninvited and unwanted, disturb your life, and leave shit behind.  These Children of God have become Children of the Information Age.  Thanx Internet.  😦

Early on an autumn Sunday afternoon, the doorbell rang.  Cracking the front door so that a yapping dog wouldn’t leak out, I saw a clean-looking, 20ish male, dressed in (a uniform?) a light-blue, long-sleeved cotton shirt, dark blue, neatly-creased slacks, with a black nylon lanyard around his neck.  He held up a laminated plastic ID with his picture and name (maybe), but no corporation name.

What I have to believe was a fine line of bullshit, was beautifully crafted.  “I’m from the Home Inspection Department, (Of what company, or Government level?) I’m here to check the integrity of your house. (What integrity?)  I’ll just leave my shoes out here”….and actually looked puzzled, as I closed the door on him.  Phone me, or email me, or even write me, and we’ll arrange a mutually convenient time.

Who comes around, unannounced, and unidentified, on a Sunday?  And yet, he and his patter looked and sounded so good, that I’m sure many home-owners unquestioningly opened their houses to him – and then later, wondered where the laptop or the jewelry went to.  I suppose I should have reported him to the Fraud Squad, even tried to get a picture of him, but I am not my neighbor’s keeper.  Caveat Emptor!

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25 thoughts on “Pros And Cons

  1. Daniel Digby says:

    How did Canada let robocallers leak across the border? I get far more satisfaction pressing ‘1’ to talk to a friendly voice on the other end so that I can tell them to “f**k off”.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Archon's Den says:

      It sounds stress-relieving, but I just read a post where a female got 7 hang-up calls in 45 minutes after telling a salesman she wasn’t interested. I’m more passive-aggressive, letting telemarketers listen to my rumbly tummy, or my hungry cat. 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Here in our apartment building in India, our watchman chases those people away. However, he goes home at night, they seem to know when, and come at that time. My husband has a caregiver now who speaks the local language and chases them away. She also answers the phone. 🙂

    Like

    • Archon's Den says:

      You have a similar, yet totally different social problem. Perhaps less greed, and more need, but still persistently irritating. I think the ones your caregiver chases away, go to work at the call center and phone me, offering to clean my ducts, or fix my computer. 😉

      Like

  3. I simply refuse to pick up a call from 800, 866, or any preface not recognized. The odd time I’m careless, I ask to speak to a manager or supervisor – I’ve found a heavy, in no uncertain terms dose of “a piece of my mind” puts an end to it.

    Like

    • Archon's Den says:

      I’m too cheap to pay extra for Caller ID, (hopefully) too smart, and too grumpy to fall for these scams, so I won’t lose any money. Aside from losing the beauty sleep – I’m retired and lonely. They’re entertaining blogger-fodder. 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I have a metal whistle next to the phone. If the caller is a telemarketer, they get a blast that tends to end any further calls faster than a simple request.

    Like

  5. BrainRants says:

    I hang up on the callers, the mail I toss, and those unlucky souls who knock on the door I walk outside and keep going into their space and back them up… and up…

    Like

  6. I win quite a number of free cruises., even though I have never entered the contest. I’m just real lucky, I guess.

    Like

  7. aFrankAngle says:

    Well stated! … and the perfect title.

    Like

  8. garden2day says:

    I’m usually pretty good with a real person on the phone–guess it was all those crazy heavy breathers I had to deal with in grad school. They never remove you from that list even when they swear it is the very LAST time they will call. I have asked to speak with a representative (real person) to get them off my back. Once, they tried to sell me some alarm system and I told them I had one–he asked what kind and I said I had an attack cat. He thought I was dang batty and hung up on me–crazy guy! 😀 They didn’t call for about 2 years or more 😀 . The house siding people–they are a trip–“we will be back when your husband is at home..” Gosh, that will be a long time! They thought I couldn’t decide or either didn’t have financial authority? I’m just a woman, right? Screw them.. I don’t hesitate to tell people they are trespassing–but then say, “Have a nice day!” 😀 Take care and thanks for the laughs! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  9. paulaacton says:

    My mother-in-law received the Microsoft call the other day, boy does that prove they do not research who they ring because she is the biggest technophobe I know and refuses to have computer in the house and does not even have internet in any form, she was in a good mood though so she sat with a coffee pretending to be doing all the steps they talked her through even providing imaginary numbers when they told her how many digits it should be for at least ten minutes before she enlightened them

    Like

    • Archon's Den says:

      They can be a great source of entertainment. If only they’d call just when it was convenient. We had three calls the other morning before our normal time to arise. (is there a sleepy Emoticon?)

      Like

  10. benzeknees says:

    Because we only have cell phones we escaped these calls for many years but due to the recent AB election my phone rang multiple times a day from various parties asking for my vote. Usually they were robo calls but the one human who did call couldn’t get off the phone fast enough when I started to complain about what his party was doing to this beautiful province. It didn’t help he used to be a councillor for the city who let me go a couple years ago.

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    • Archon's Den says:

      We even get the occasional call on our cellphone. If the wife doesn’t recognize the number of the few people authorized to call it, she just drops the call. 😳

      Liked by 1 person

      • Daniel Digby says:

        And then they call back repeatedly the way they do in the U.S.?

        Like

      • Archon's Den says:

        Not so far. 😕 Maybe they assume ‘technical difficulties’. Our preferred method is silence. My Dad had a two-tone bosuns’ whistle. If any of them get too irritating, I’ll find something similar. Seven Ontario duct-cleaning companies were fined $175,000 for farming out their promo calls to India. Their defence was that the push-starts didn’t know about the ‘Don’t Call’ list. The judge made it their responsibility to properly train all subcontractors. 😳

        Liked by 1 person

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