Spring Forward – Fall Back

Nasty old Verna Equinox – AKA Mother Nature – has been toying with us this year.  She’s promised us since March the 21st that it’s Spring, but, like a drunken bar pickup, it’s a lot of talk, and very little action.

Despite Verna’s claims, it’s not really Spring until it warms up, and she just keeps teasing us.  Hold out a little sunshine and warmth – and then snatch it back with an icy hand.  Hold out a little….well, you’re living through it; you know what I mean.

We all want the warmth of real Spring.  We need it.  We hope for it.  Some of us pray for it – except in California, where they’re praying for rain.  They’d even take the forty days and forty nights, and out there, where Sodom meets Gomorrah, they might get it.

I think we all have those ‘It’s Really Spring When….’ benchmarks.  I know I do.  This year, every time we reached one, and hope began to blossom, Frau Nature took the proctology scope out of the refrigerator and said, “Bend over and cough – Bitch.”

It’s really Spring when all the snow finally melts – and two days later, I’m sprinkling the last of my urea crystals to melt the ice on my driveway and sidewalk.

It’s really Spring when you see your first robin.  The first one I saw was in a clothing store in the mall, buying a North Face insulated parka.

The ‘really Spring’ point for the gardener wife came a couple of weeks ago, when the nearby supermarket assembled their outdoor garden center.  We might as well buy plastic plants.  They’re just as hard, and they won’t wilt when they thaw out.

I thought I’d finally reached the ‘really Spring’ point Sunday night/Monday morning.  The ‘warm Spring rain’ had been coming down steadily for hours, and had finally melted the permafrost that is my front lawn.  The grass was so sodden that the poor earthworms were drowning, and were crawling up and out of the dirt to breathe.

Monday being garbage day, I was taking out the trash at 3 AM so that the neighbors would not be blinded by my sartorial splendor.  It’s really Spring because the earthworms are out of the ground, and all over my driveway.

Here I was, lugging two bags, and daintily pirouetting down the driveway, avoiding worms, in a pair of fleece shorts and slippers.  It’s not that I believe in the Hindu/Karma thing.  It’s just that She Who Must Be Obeyed doesn’t take kindly to having worm guts all over her floors.

Two days later, BrainRants could have used the worms like frozen spikes to hold down the planks on his rebuilt deck.


The above photo of my deck was taken at 3 AM Tuesday April 22nd, Earth Day.  Really, snow?? Again?? C’mon Ma Nature, over a month since you claimed it was Spring?  Have a hot flash or two.  I am so looking forward to putting away my ice scraper and snow shovel….  Wait, that means I have to get out the rakes and lawn mower.  🙄


17 thoughts on “Spring Forward – Fall Back

  1. I had to laugh when I awoke to a skim of snow and no one was commenting at all – no rants on Facebook or depressed posts. We have all given up even noticing and complaining at this point.


  2. I read about it, but I’m not living it. Here we are having a heat wave, and next will be monsoon. Ah, the tropical climate. It’s either cold with no indoor heating, continuously rainy, or so hot you almost melt.


    • Archon's Den says:

      There’s no place like home! There’s no place like home!….and sometimes even home isn’t like home.
      At least you’re on an upper floor, so that you don’t have to keep the computer cords up, out of the water.
      Perhaps you could do a Flash Fiction about being rescued from the rising tide by a water-jitney. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Jim Wheeler says:

    Verna’s true sign for me is the appearance of bugs. We have a very nice small tree on the south side that the tent-worms go crazy for. It’s some kind of “sand plum”. I watch every spring for the nasty little beasts and go out to scrape ’em off. Happened about two weeks ago here in the bottom of Missouri. Oh, also, the geese on the pond are chasing one another. Spring! 😀


    • Archon's Den says:

      You’ve got 500 miles on me. It takes Verna a little longer to skate this far north. I’ve also begun to see bugs – and so have the cats, swatting at the living-room window and the French doors. They drive the dog crazy(er) with their little prey-calls. He rushes over, thinking there’s a rabbit or squirrel.
      They’re called tent-caterpillars up here. I see them occasionally. One summer, when I was a kid, they were everywhere. My Dad wrapped an old rag on the end of a stick, doused it in lighter fluid, and went around the yard, burning all the nests. 😯


  4. Kayjai says:

    Our snow is starting to melt with temps above zero, who can complain? Me. I can complain. Watch me. However, now we are in the rain-drizzle-fog splendor of Newfoundland. Yay. I love spring.


    • Archon's Den says:

      Like Suzanne (above), you have two seasons – fog, and iceberg. At least you don’t have to shovel fog – which is good. You can’t find the shovel in it anyway.
      How’s the employment/health situation for you – and Hubby? Everyone too busy looking for Duffy’s ‘primary residence’ to ship you to Aklavik? 😀


  5. Yep, same here. There were a couple of days in the 70s – the middle-aged neighbor was sunning topless in her yard (in the suburbs, with postage-stamp sized yards!). I even dragged out my spring/summer PJs.

    But then the snow and cold came back. I had to retrieve the sweat suits and sweaters. (And the neighbor wasn’t seen outside at all.)

    Spring is a little later this year than usual, but I’m sure it will get here eventually. (I hear the neighbor’s been sighted at the local Kohl’s, perusing the bikini selection.)


  6. BrainRants says:

    Late comment because I’m working on said deck… our trees are in full leaf budding here in Virginia.


  7. merlin_pan says:

    “Roll”? “Rum droll”? I can’t see the Cumberland Mountains one sees during the winter because the leaves are 3/4 out.


    • Archon's Den says:

      We’ve been through the Cumberlands a few times. I’d love to see them again, leaves or not. I have a travelogue post about to be published including Front Royal, VA, the Skyline drive, Stony Man mountain, Skyline caverns, and Luray. Nice country. 😀


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