Hot Dog

Hot dog stand

Two guys immigrate to America.  On their first
day off the boat they are wandering around New
York City seeing the sights.  As lunch time
approaches they decide they are hungry.  They
then come up to a street vendor selling hot dogs.

One says to the other in a shocked tone, “My God.
Do they eat dogs in America?”

“I don’t know!” says the other, equally appalled.

“Well,” says the first, “we’re going to be
Americans, so we must do as they do.”

They approach the vendor bravely. “Two hot dogs,
please.”

The vendor hands them their food in a pair of
paper sacks.

The two immigrants sit on a park bench to eat
their lunch.  One looks inside his sack,
hesitates and turns to his partner and says,
“Uh, which part of the dog did you get?”

Hot dog

***

A young woman was so depressed that she decided
to end her life by throwing herself into the
ocean.  She went down to the docks and was about
to leap into the frigid water when a handsome
young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the
pier crying.

He took pity on her and said,  “Look, you’ve got
a lot to  live for. I’m off to Europe in the
morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on
my ship.  I’ll take good care of you and bring
you food every day.”  Moving closer he slipped
his arm round her shoulder and added, “I’ll keep
you happy, and you’ll keep me happy.”

The girl nodded yes.  After all, what did she
have to lose?  That night, the sailor brought her
aboard and hid her in a lifeboat. From then on
every night he brought her three sandwiches and a
piece of fruit, and they made passionate love
until dawn.

Three weeks later, during a routine inspection,
she was discovered by the  captain.  “What are
you doing here?”  the Captain asked.

“I have an arrangement with one of the sailors,”
she explained. “I get food and a trip to Europe,
and he’s screwing me.”

“He sure is, lady,” the Captain said.  “This is
the Staten Island Ferry”

***

Did you hear about the lawyer who named his daughter Sue?

***

Hear about the psychic midget who escaped from
jail?

Yeah the headlines in the newspaper read
“SMALL MEDIUM AT LARGE”.

***

Little Matt is sitting in the back of math class,
obviously not paying any attention, when the
teacher calls his name. “Yeah teach?” he says.

“If  there are three ducks on a fence and you shoot
one of them with your shotgun, how many are
left?” Matt answers “Well, teach, if I shoot one
of them with my shotgun, the loud noise is going
to make them all fly off.” “No, Matt, there will
be two left if you shoot one with your shotgun,
but I like the way you’re thinking.”

“Well,teacher, I’ve got a question for you. There are
3 women that come out of an ice-cream parlor, one
is biting her ice-cream cone, one is licking it,
and one is sucking on it. Which one is married?”

The teacher is a little taken aback by the
question, but answers “Well, uh, gee Matt, I
guess the one that’s sucking on it.” “No teach,
the one that has the wedding ring on her finger,
but I like the way you’re thinking!”

#450

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15 thoughts on “Hot Dog

  1. BrainRants says:

    I think the immigrants would be shocked to learn what’s actually in their hot dogs myself.

    Like

  2. 1jaded1 says:

    Kids these days.

    Like

    • Archon's Den says:

      At least Matt is forthcoming and honest. All the social engineers insist that we can’t strike the little hooligans when they really need it, or punish them – or even look at them sternly, and then blame ‘the degeneration of society’ when they go bad. Matt’s obviously been reading more than just Dora the Explorer. 😉

      Like

  3. 1jaded1 says:

    Obviously…though wedding rings are terribly overrated with people who play or use them for the current love of their life and then cuss out at their next divorce. That said, for the kids, wooden spoons and other hard objects were used when hands for spanking didn’t work….soap and backhand slaps were also used with verbal disrespect…and a kid’s threat to call the popo was met with a parental let me dial the numher. Did I leave anything out?

    Like

    • Archon's Den says:

      I just watched a Criminal Minds, where the father beat the son terribly with a belt. We don’t want that, but I feel the pendulum has swung Wayyy too far the other way. An entire generation has learned that there are no consequences, and everyone is shocked when there finally are.
      An Indian-Canadian comic tells of learning from his white friend that he can just call Children’s’ Aid. His disciplining Dad informs him that it will take 22 minutes for anyone to arrive. And in that time, “Somebody gonna get a hurting!” 🙄

      Like

      • 1jaded1 says:

        I agree. There has to be a medium. You don’t want beaten and bloody or total disrepect for parents. I think my fave is the Baltimore mom. She says that she didn’t raise him to do what he did.

        BTW Kowalski hot dogs are the best. If you make it to Detroit again…they are yummy.

        Like

      • Archon's Den says:

        Not sure when we might get back to Detroit, but if/when we do, where might we find Kowalski? 😕 🙂

        Like

  4. aFrankAngle says:

    Gotta love the headline regarding Shorty … and NO … I didn’t hear about the lawyer who named his daughter Sue.

    Like

  5. merlin_pan says:

    Nice … The version of “Hot Dogs” I’m familiar with uses two nuns on a missionary trip to the heathen of NY. “What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?” “Make me one with everything.”

    Like

    • Archon's Den says:

      There are more ‘versions’ of popular jokes than there are fleas on a blue-tick hound. As BrainRants(above) intimates, hot-dogs already contain just about everything. 😳

      Like

  6. “Which part of the dog did you get?” You got me with that one…

    Like

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