In our continuing quest to get a front-page spread in Better Huts And Hovels (Pagan Press Intl.), the wife decided to dress the place up a bit, and give it some character. To that end, we decided to adopt a few more characters as lucky amulets.
She felt we should get a small statue of Buddha for the back deck, among her many plants, as a sign of peace, so off to Lowes we trekked. We found a lovely Buddha, and right next to him, Elfen (above). One look at that smirky smile, and we said, peace on Buddha, we’re taking him. That shit-disturbing little grin just says, “Take me home, so that we can start getting into trouble.”
The son keeps acquiring semi-precious stone skulls. His total now is about 20. I’ll show you his rogues’ gallery complete, later in the summer. His interest has rubbed off on the wife, and she has also begun a collection. As homage to our alien overlords, she now displays in a place of honor, a replica of Ming from Mong, their revered leader.
On a lower shelf, to demonstrate our obedience and subjugation, sits a little crystal human skull replica, that the son gave his mother for Mothers’ Day. Isn’t he sweet and thoughtful? That’s so much better than the Swiffer Sweeper and electric fry pan I got her. My head still has a lump from when she accidentally dropped it while putting it away.
If two heads are better than one, then 20 should be better than 2, so the son continues to expand his collection. He says this big obsidian skull has been talking to him from the Rock Shop at the Farmers’ Market, for over six months….He just means that he’s been attracted to it, right?? I mean, it couldn’t really talk to him – could it??!
To help him with his thinking, the son recently got another set of wooden heads. He claims that they stand for See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil. There’s nothing evil about this house, but I think these guys just don’t want to see or hear what’s going on. Poor Moe, on the bottom, saw and heard, and is now trying to keep his stomach down. Nice of him, but with a couple of sensitive cats, one more stain on the rug wouldn’t even be noticed.
These new kids sit not too far away from their older, larger brothers, which the son obtained back in the fall. The old Market building burned down because it was made of dried wood, and had no sprinklers. Perhaps I should dip these in fire retardant, and tell the son that I’m staining them for him. 😉
So, all in all, we’re now better protected from random psionic and thaumaturgic attacks. Maybe I should obtain a couple more and send them to Cordelia’s Mom, to protect her from the imps who infest her neighborhood.
#482
Archon's Den 
I like the three no monkeys, but wouldn’t want them in my place.
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Crystal skulls and no-monkeys??? He must have a dozen sets, some totem-pole, like these, and others separate, most smaller. It could be a lot worse. He could collect meth, or hookers. He collects knives, and has far more than me. I gotta take the pictures I promised earlier. 🙂
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LOL, I realized as I was typing the comment how odd it sounded, but yes, no monkeys. A friendish collects them and sets them on his desk. Sock monkeys, you name it. Sometimes he sends a text with pic. I wonder about my neighbor who lives two doors down. He has a life size Smokey Bear on his patio. Yup about the hookers etc…at least he (your son) doesn’t collect those.
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That’s almost worth the drive to Chicago….it’s already 460 miles – but it’s only another 105 miles to Janesville WI, where there’s a great knife show. Yeah, I’m sure the wife would agree to it, 😳
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There’s something about being able to buy a Buddha at Lowes that seems wrong and perhaps a little dangerous. Nice collection if you like heads. I’ll stick with the one I sometimes can find.
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The image I downloaded is actually a Buddha. The one we saw and almost bought was the fat, smiling version. It’s a replica of a Chinese demi-god, the (mis)pronunciation of whose name migrated from Ho-tai, to Po-tai, to Bodai. When the Indians came to China, selling rice and religion, they spoke of Buddha. The pronunciation slipped a bit more, and the Chinese quickly said, We’ve already got one of those.
Even today, the more rigid Indian Hindus are outraged at the fat Chinese version. That’s NOT Buddha! Nobody gets killed over it. We leave that to ISIS, but sometimes Chinamen can’t get Tech Support. 😉
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Aw, thanks for the kind thoughts, G.O.D. My loony neighbors are under control at the moment – if they get out of control at some point, I will handle them.
And then you may have some real skulls to add to your collection. Just sayin’
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The son promises to stain and polish them. 😉 😕
‘Why officer, I got those on my last expedition up the Orinoco. A native named Mbunga insisted that they were his aunt and uncle, who had unfortunately fallen into the piranha.’ 😆
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Oh lordy… on the bright side, once The Son moves out, you’ll have even more space for your various, um, characters!
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Oh, he’s one character we want to keep, even if the place looks like an explosion at a Carnival prize factory. 😉
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Well…eventually they must move out! 😉
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Not necessarily. We’re 71 and 65, he’s 44. He’ll be like my youngest uncle (and a couple of others we know of). He’ll bury us, and inherit the house. His rent/board enables us to pay off the last 5 years of the mortgage. He treats us well, and doesn’t intrude. He has friends, but no desire to acquire a wife. 😕
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Ahhh… as long as everyone is happy, that’s all that matters, right?
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creepy…you guys are into skulls and knives…lol
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I need to publish a post about all the wife’s Beanie Babies. That should prove we’re (semi)normal. Of course, she’s got more knives than me. 😯
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