What’s Finally In Your Fridge?

Open fridge

When last we left our husky hero, he was grazing his way through Kansas the basement storeroom. Now is time for him to finally reveal What Evil Lurks In The Heart Of AMANA. Boowahaha….hack, hack!? Stand back! I don’t want anyone crushed when I open this door.

Poor refrigerator, it seems to go in cycles, always busy, but there are days when you can open the door and get an echo. A week later, if I threw a cup of water at it, all but a few drops would splash back on the floor, it’s so jammed with leftovers put-asides. ‘Leftovers’ has a poor connotation; these are intentional, and good.

As downstairs, almost everything in the upstairs fridge comes in multiple versions. There are two 2-liter jugs of iced tea. The three of us drink more than one per day, so there’s always another one chilling. There’s my morning orange juice, but because the wife’s allergic, she has serially gone through cranberry juice, apple juice, the iced tea, and now is drinking mango juice.

Among the condiments we have regular ketchup and my Hot and Spicy ketchup, yellow mustard, and Dijon. (We can’t afford Grey Poupon.) There’s sweet relish, and dill, the wife’s mayonnaise and my Miracle Whip, white vinegar and malt, soya sauce and Tamari, which is spicy like soya, but with less caramel for lighter colored foods and less burning when cooked. .

The shelves are jammed with lemon juice, lime juice for Tex-Mex, coconut oil, Indian ghee, which is a clarified cooking butter, HP sauce, Worcestershire sauce, oyster sauce, hot chili-garlic sauce, Tabasco sauce and Chipotle Tabasco, sandwich spread, Sriracha, chili sauce, salad dressings, chopped garlic, shredded garlic and shredded ginger, maple syrup, stuffed olives, sliced pizza olives, and two different Diana sauces.

We stock store-bought sweet pickles and gherkins, and homemade dill pickles in snacking quarters, and slices for burgers and sandwiches. The wife likes artichoke hearts, the liquid from which she sometimes uses as a salad dressing, adding a dash of lemon juice and salt, and we keep both margarine and butter for cooking and spreading.

There’s 4 kinds of fruit in the fruit drawer, and 6 different vegetables in the vegetable drawer, including zucchini, which the wife fries with olive oil & garlic salt and tops with shredded cheese. Milk includes 3% homo, my chocolate milk, the wife’s non-dairy Coffee-Rich cooking substitute, and buttermilk to make pancakes and waffles. The son and I eat regular sour cream, while the wife uses the more expensive, lactose-free.

CHEESE! Oh Dear Lord, cheese! We always had cheese, but now that we’re getting older, the wife ensures that there’s lots of cheese to assist my chocolate milk to fight off osteoporosis.

Fasten your seat belt! – The son’s cheddar cheese-string sticks, the wife’s mozzarella sticks, Kraft Singles sandwich slices, Havarti slices, a bag of shredded TexMex, a bag of grated Parmesan for pasta and homemade Caesar dressing. In blocks, we have smoked Parmesan for special dishes, Emmenthaler, the son’s Gruyere, cheddar, the wife’s goat-milk Kashkaval, which she puts on the fried zucchini, Monterey Jack, occasionally mozzarella, which I take from the freezer, to thaw for lasagna, pizza or French onion soup, and Edam, for family-gathering hors d’oeuvres. Oh, and don’t forget the flavored cream cheese spread, the jar of Cheeze-Whiz, and the jar of salsa con queso, which I dollop on my nachos.

Behind the leftovers on the top shelf, hide two or three flavors of homemade jam – red currant from our own bush, strawberry, raspberry, sour cherry, or spiced peach. Tired of putting it on toast? Mix a little boiling water, and they make excellent pancake/waffle toppings. Up there are also horseradish, beet relish, which is 50/50 horseradish and grated, cooked beets, and goes great on ham, pickled ginger, and a soup can full of salvaged bacon fat that we use to fry French toast, or make a roux for gravy.

The son works midnights, and doesn’t take the evening meal with us. He eats at 4:00 AM. The wife and I prepare a recipe that was set up when we had two healthy teenagers. Now she and I take what we want, and fill a Ziploc container for the son. Sometimes he has two or three ahead in the fridge.


Occasionally we pack some up for the daughter, especially tomato-based dishes, because her son is allergic to them, for days when her mobility disability keeps her from cooking. Thank the heavens for microwaves. Tupperware was handy but expensive. Now Ziploc and Glad containers are here. If you melt one a bit, it’s quick and cheap to replace.

After we’ve supplied the son and daughter, anything left goes in smaller amounts for future lunches. No longer just sandwiches – unless you want one. We freeze fresh bread, and never put out more than half a loaf. That top shelf is crowded with little containers of chili, won-ton soup, curried chicken and hamburger stroganoff.

I had to install a light fixture above the sink with three hi-intensity halogen bulbs. The one in the fridge was always so obscured by all the food that you couldn’t see in. Thanx for reading our obesity diary. You must’ve wanted to; you showed up.   😆


On an unrelated note; I recently ran into a woman who’s even more of a Grammar Nazi than me. She warns her online friends that, if they send her a message like the last line above, but spelled ‘You must of wanted to’, she’ll unfriend them on Facebook.   😳


13 thoughts on “What’s Finally In Your Fridge?

  1. Dan Antion says:

    I was going to quit reading when I saw Miracle Whip, but then I saw chocolate milk and all was forgiven. I also live with a patrolwoman on the grammar police force. We’re good (as opposed to “were good”)


    • Archon's Den says:

      Like macaroni and cheese, (Canadians eat 2.5 times as much, per capita) Miracle Whip/mayonnaise is a Canadian/American thing – never the twain shall meet. I find mayonnaise bland, suitable only for lubricating dry sandwiches to swallow. Even among 12 filler items in a Dagwood sandwich, I appreciate the tang of Miracle Whip.

      Is ‘irregardless’ a word? Yes, in the same way a 1959 Edsel is a car. “Stop clubbing, baby seals.” Onion’s and carrot’s and greengrocers’ apostrophes, oh my. 😯

      Liked by 1 person

      • Jim Wheeler says:

        @ Dan and Archon,

        I totally agree about Miracle Whip. One of our favorite indulgences is the toasted cheese sandwich. Miracle Whip on both slices, American cheese, brush melted butter or margarine on the outside, toast in hot skillet until, well, toasted. Heavenly!


      • Archon's Den says:

        Hmmm… Grilled cheese with Miracle Whip? Must try that! I occasionally have toast, often rye or multi-grain, with peanut butter and Miracle Whip.
        Unlike Canadian bacon, Canadian Cheese and American Cheese are exactly the same thing – only not really cheese. I don’t know about the US rules, but Canada forces manufacturers to label it ‘Cheese Food.’ 😕 🙂


  2. 1jaded1 says:

    Cheese, glorious cheese…so good for everything, but especially French Onion Soup. I’ve been known to eat mustard just because. Thank you for part deux.


    • Archon's Den says:

      I just made a grilled cheese sandwich with Havarti and cheddar. If the wife’s not watching, I’ve been known to put ketchup on toast. (What? Tomatoes are fruit. They mush them and add sugar. That’s tomato jam!) 😉


  3. Jim Wheeler says:

    “Put-asides” ? “Leftovers” ? At our house we call them “re-runs”. Love ’em. 😆


    • Archon's Den says:

      Or ‘set-asides’. I like ‘reruns’. So much better than what’s on TV till almost October. Fortunately the daughter gifted us with the complete set of David Suchet ‘Poirots’, and all the Sydney Toler/Warner Oland ‘Charlie Chans’. 🙂


  4. Dale says:

    I call them (the left-overs) the basis of a new recipe!
    We were brought up on Miracle Whip. Once the three sisters moved out and the parents divorced (after 29 years) guess what? All switched to Hellmans’s except Dad… guess he had some buying power!


  5. Sightsnbytes says:

    just read this post. now I am starving…wish you lived closer…


    • Archon's Den says:

      I wish I did too. I could bring half this stuff over and store it in your fridge/freezer.
      Just read about some Canadian singer who was born in Toronto, and his Mom moved him to Paradise NL, when he was young, “near St. Johns.” It’s inside St. Johns, not far from Mt Scio and KayJai’s. One Bing map view shows it just west of the Trans-Canada. The next zoom-in level shows it just east of the Trans, but labelled Evergreen Village. 😕


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