Hug A Thug


Adopt a Terrorist..!!

This is a BRILLIANT piece… and just too good to miss reading. I thought, here is a bureaucrat who is worth his salary – and perhaps a raise.

Canadians know how to handle complaints. Here is an example.

A liberal Canadian female wrote a lot of letters to the Canadian government, complaining about the treatment of captive insurgents (terrorists) being held in Afghanistan National Correctional System facilities. She demanded a response to her letter.  She received the following reply:

From: National Defence Headquarters
Maj. Gen. George R. Pearkes Bldg., 15 NT,
101 Colonel By Drive Ottawa , ON
K1A 0K2 Canada.

Dear Concerned Citizen,

Thank you for your recent letter expressing your profound concern of treatment of the Taliban and Al Qaeda terrorists captured by Canadian Forces, who were subsequently transferred to the Afghanistan Government and are currently being held by Afghan officials in Afghanistan National Correctional System facilities.

Our administration takes these matters seriously and your opinions were heard loud and clear here in Ottawa. You will be pleased to learn, thanks to the concerns of citizens like yourself… we are creating a new department here at the Department of National Defense, to be called ‘Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers’ program, or “L.A.R.K.” for short.

In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have decided, on a trial basis, to divert several terrorists and place them in homes of concerned citizens such as yourself… around the country, under those citizens’ personal care. Your personal detainee has been selected and is scheduled for transportation under heavily armed guard to your residence in Toronto next Monday.

Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud is your detainee, and is to be cared for pursuant to the standards you personally demanded in your letter of complaint. You will be pleased to know that we will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of care for Ahmed are commensurate with your recommendations.

Although Ahmed is a sociopath and extremely violent, we hope that your sensitivity to what you described as his ‘attitudinal problem’ will help him overcome those character flaws. Perhaps you are correct in describing these problems as mere ‘cultural differences’. We understand that you plan to offer ‘counseling and home schooling’, however, we strongly recommend that you hire some assistant caretakers.

Please advise any Jewish friends, neighbours or relatives about your house guest, as he might get agitated or even violent, but we are sure you can ‘reason’ with him. He is also expert at making a wide variety of explosive devices from common household products, so you may wish to keep those items locked up, unless in your opinion, this might ‘offend him and his sensibilities’.

Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand combat and can extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil or nail clippers. We advise that you do not ask him to demonstrate these skills either in your home or wherever you choose to take him while ‘helping him adjust to life in our country’.

Ahmed will not wish to interact with you or your daughters except sexually… since he views females as a form of property, thereby having no rights, including refusal of his sexual demands. This is a particularly sensitive subject for him.

You also should know that he has shown violent tendencies around women who fail to comply with the dress code that he will recommend as more appropriate attire. I’m sure you will come to enjoy the anonymity offered by the burka over time. Just remember that it is all part of ‘respecting his culture and religious beliefs’ as described in your letter.

You take good care of Ahmed and remember that we will try to have a counselor available to help you over any difficulties you encounter while Ahmed is adjusting to Canadian culture.

Thanks again for your concern. We truly appreciate it when folks like you keep us informed of the “PROPER WAY TO DO OUR JOB AND CARE FOR OUR FELLOW MAN”.

Good luck and God bless you.

Cordially, Gordon O’Connor


14 thoughts on “Hug A Thug

  1. BrainRants says:

    Can we Americans participate? I’d like to hug one of those bastards until his ribs shreds his innards.


    • Archon's Den says:

      Oh sure! This offer is also open to residents of the contiguous United States. Don’t delay! While you are still allowed to stroll around the five-sided daycare center, amble on over to 3C315. That’s the Scratch and Dent Adoption Dept., located on the third floor, C ring, nearest to radial corridor number three, bay fifteen. Fill out the necessary paperwork, in quintuplicate, pay $14.95 for shipping and handling, and within six weeks they’ll deliver your very own Misunderstood Mujahedeen. Some disassembly required. 😳

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Hug A Thug says:

    […] Source: Hug A Thug […]


  3. Daniel Digby says:

    It’s long overdue for Canada to learn the proper treatment of detainees. Thanks for letting us know that you’ve finally come to your senses.


  4. any1mark66 says:

    It is perfect in every way! I’m sure it would change the world. I still think a member of congress should help out as well. They want to understand the problem too!


    • Archon's Den says:

      I agree. I think every Congressman should have one, to help focus. If you run short at Guantanamo, we have a couple up here that we could lend you. They tried to blow up a passenger train and the railway bridge at Niagara. One’s Koran-crazy – the other claims he’s just a con-man, trying to get money from ISIS. 😦

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Marie Keates says:

    As a customer service supervisor I think my company should adopt this policy on replying to letters. It would certainly make us all feel better.


    • Archon's Den says:

      Dear Sir/Madame
      FUCK you very much! Strong language to follow.
      Yours insincerely
      I am a native of Southampton, but mine is a hundred miles north and west of Kitchener, on the shores of Lake Huron, in Southern Ontario. 😎


      • Marie Keates says:

        One of our staff accidentally wrote “if you have any more queries please do not contact me again,” it was an accident, he missed out hesitate to. Made us laught thought because it was exactly what he meant.


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