Things That Make You Go –WTF?!

A woman, duck-hunting in Indiana, shot a duck, set down her 12 gauge shotgun and urged her retriever to fetch the bird. He galloped over the gun, shooting her in the foot. The dog’s name was Trigger.

Locally, a car pulled out of a side street in front of another car, which swerved to the left, sideswiping an oncoming car, forcing it over the curb. That car violently struck a Canada Post mailbox, driving it into a 76 year old man, out for a walk, and killed him. The man killed was a retired Postal worker.

A letter to the Editor complained of waiting till the last minute and not being able to get tickets to an Oktoberfest hall. It was so personal and trivial, I don’t know why The Record even printed it. When I read the writer’s name, it was Steve Whines. Will Rogers said, You don’t have to make things up, just read the newspapers.

Searching for an image of a rainbow, I found a nice one, captioned – Niagara Falls, Toronto, Canada – Zou Zheng.  Apparently it’s been moved over next to Canada’s Wonderland, to make it more easily accessible by tourists like Zou.  If this was one of the Chinese picture-takers from Batavia, I’m surprised he didn’t just move it to Buffalo.

I recently received an email from a bookstore, that a book I’d ordered, had come in. I went to the store, and handed a male clerk my order receipt, indicating that it was paid for, and giving my name and address, the name of the author, and the name of the book.

He glanced at it, handed it back, and said, “I’ll get it from the storeroom. I’ll be right back.”  I waved the receipt and asked, “Won’t you need this?”  “Oh no, I’ve seen it.”  “What?  You have eidetic memory?”  (Big smile)  “Yes, I have eidetic memory!”  You’re lucky.  I have to look at it just to remember my name.

A couple of minutes later he showed up with an oversized Trade Paperback. I had time to say, “I wanted the regular size, but if that’s what was ordered, I’ll take it.”  When I looked at it, it was a kids’ book, like ‘The Bobbsey Twins Do Carnival In Rio.’  Mr. Eidetic Memory had brought me the wrong title, by the wrong author, for the wrong customer.

When he returned a second time, he brought a CD Audio Book Version, but that’s a complaint about a different clerk.

Celine weddingCeline wedding 2

Celine wedding 3Above are a couple of photos from the wedding album of Empress Chanteuse, Celine Dion, and her pet monkey Consort, René.  Somewhere, Katherine the Great, of Russia was looking down (or was it up?) in envy.  Not bad for the youngest of 14 children of a poor redneck Quebecois sharecropper butcher.

Now that she has her children, her fame, her hand firmly clutching her considerable fortune and ‘Uncle René’ busy dying of cancer, she’s more than willing to divorce him and drop him by the side of the road. If Disney/Pixar ever does Frozen II, I know who can do the part of The Ice Queen.  This woman is colder than a Quebec winter.

 

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9 thoughts on “Things That Make You Go –WTF?!

  1. BrainRants says:

    Thanks for the reminder that Celine Dion still exists. *ironic sarcasm*

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  2. Dan Antion says:

    You can’t make stuff up better than this.

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  3. Jim Wheeler says:

    Steve Whines’ wife doesn’t complain as much. Her name’s Minnie. 😉

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    • Archon's Den says:

      Oh, that’s cute! 😆
      A crossword asked me the other day for Andy Gump’s wife’s name. Turned out to be Min (Minnie/Minerva). Andy Gump?? I never watched ‘Forest Gump’. Was that his dad and mom?
      Do you remember the newspaper cartoon strip about the Gumps? Andy had no chin, and a big brushy moustache. Ran from 1897 till 1939. 😕

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      • Jim Wheeler says:

        Of course I remember the Gumps! I ain’t no kid, you know! 😆

        I’ve always loved comics, newspaper and otherwise. Always had a stack of them to trade when I was a kid. Ate ’em up.

        Forest Gump is one of the best movies ever made, in my opinion, but no, no relation to Andy.

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      • Archon's Den says:

        I ain’t no spring chicken either. More like the fall version. Didn’t get borned till ’44. I had to have Bing remind me about the Gumps. Then – vaguely – recalled the strip.
        For a couple of seconds, I thought the clue was about the British strip, ‘Andy Capp’. His wife was Flo. 😉

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Daniel Digby says:

    Your comment on Niagara Falls reminded me of an article in Science magazine from 30 years ago about the waterway connecting the Tombigbee and Tennessee rivers. It was a boondoggle dreamed up by President Nixon as part of his “Southern Strategy”. A map in Science showed Memphis, TN at the north end of the waterway. A snarky reader commented that now he understood why the waterway was so ridiculously expensive. The Army Corps of Engineers had to move Memphis 150 miles down to Mississippi to take advantage of the waterway.

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