Busy Brains

Brain

The Explanation

Brains of older people are slow because they know so much.

People do not decline mentally with age, it just takes them longer to recall facts because they have more information in their brains, scientists believe. Much like a computer struggles as the hard drive gets full, so, too, do humans take longer to access information when their brains are full.

Researchers say this slowing down process is not the same as cognitive decline.

The human brain works slower in old age, said Dr. Michael Ramsay, but only because we have stored more information over time.  The brains of older people do not get weak. On the contrary, they simply know more.

Also, older people often go to another room to get something and when they get there, they stand there wondering what they came for.

It is NOT a memory problem; it is nature’s way of making older people do more exercise.

***

A Catholic Priest, a Baptist Preacher and a Rabbi all served as Chaplains to the students of Michigan University at Marquette in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.

They would get together 2 or 3 times a week for coffee and to talk shop.  One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn’t really all that hard, a real challenge would be to preach to a bear.  One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment.  They would all go into the woods, find a bear, preach to it and attempt to convert it to their religion.  Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experiences.

Father Flannery, with his arm in a sling, was on crutches and had various bandages on his body and limbs.

“Well,” he said, “I went into the woods to find me a bear.  And when I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism.  Well that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around so I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him, and Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb.  The Bishop is coming out next week to give him First Communion.”

Reverent Billy Bob spoke next.  He was in a wheelchair, had one arm & both legs in casts with an IV drip.  In his best fire and brimstone oratory, he exclaimed, “Well, brothers, you know that we Baptists don’t sprinkle!  I went out and found me a bear.  And then I began to read to my bear from God’s Holy Word!  But that bear wanted nothing to do with me.  So I took hold of him and we began to wrestle.  

We wrestled down one hill, up and down another until we came to a creek.  So I quickly dunked him and baptized his hairy soul.  Just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb.  We spent the rest of the day praising God and shouting Hallelujah!

The Priest and the Preacher both looked down at the Rabbi who was lying in a hospital bed in a body cast & traction with IVs and monitors running in and out of him.  He was in really bad shape.

The Rabbi looked up and said, “Looking back on it, . . . circumcision may not have been the best way to start.”

 

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11 thoughts on “Busy Brains

  1. Daniel Digby says:

    I have been trying to reconstruct work that I did 45-50 years ago, and I do have a memory problem. Back then, I could deliver a lecture without notes. No longer.

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    • Archon's Den says:

      My little neurological syndrome means that I’ve always had a bad memory. If it’s getting worse, I haven’t noticed….and I keep forgetting to ask the wife. It means I’ve had to learn to think on my feet. 🙄

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  2. Jim Wheeler says:

    Ha, Archon, good one. Your story about the three preachers elicited an actual laugh out of me!

    As for the memory thing, I wish it were that simple. The wife and I regularly watch Jeopardy and we still know a fair amount of the “questions”, but we more and more find the speed a problem. So that much is true so far. But I confess that some of that old knowledge is waning with time. Example: sometimes I’ll wake up at night struggling for a word. I know the word, I just can’t say or spell it. Sometimes I’ll even see a picture of what it is. Eventually it comes to me but I know the time is coming when it just won’t. Nuts.

    https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwjDwp7l2KnLAhVGKiYKHXBjBGgQjRwIBw&url=http%3A%2F%2Fsomeinterestingfacts.net%2Fhow-a-trebuchet-works%2F&psig=AFQjCNFSRdOIGQRIiU8d3q_slP4mQk0bFQ&ust=1457272320444930

    TREBUCHET!!!

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    • Archon's Den says:

      Very interesting. It explains everything except what I don’t understand – how the projectile is released from the sling. 😦 😕

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      • Jim Wheeler says:

        It’s a sling attached to the end of the leaver. I saw one once that could hurl VolksWagen the length of a football field!

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      • Jim Wheeler says:

        You’re right Arcon, it’s not intuitive. Picture a two-strand sling, one strand ending in a noose. Noose goes over a peg. As the thrown object swings, the noose slips off the peg.

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      • Archon's Den says:

        I pictured something like that. One end has to come loose or the sling/projectile would just whip back around.
        In my brother’s little town, they hold an October Pumpkinfest, including a ‘Punkin Chunkin’ contest. I’ve never attended, but he describes all sorts of home-built machines – trebuchets, catapults, crossbows, and an air cannon.
        In the ‘Hell’s Gate’ book I read last year, there was a Sgt. Trebuch. 🙂

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  3. BrainRants says:

    I tend to agree with the memory thing. If I need a thing, I’ll have to mentally flip through every fucking location I’ve ever kept that thing until I hit the end of the file. I go looking for shit in places five houses ago, but somehow in my current one.

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    • Archon's Den says:

      It’s a good thing I’ve only lived in five houses in 50 years of marriage. When I go looking for one thing, I often find something I’d forgotten we had. Especially digging in the freezer. That’s why tomorrow’s pork fajitas can turn into broccoli soup. 😛

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