A to Z Challenge –D

April Challenge

I definitely have descended to D in this challenge.  Now I desire a designated word.  Nothing too common, I think it will be….

Letter D

Dastard: a contemptible, mean, sneaking coward.

***

Dastard Dan they called him….when they were being kind and generous, which wasn’t often.  He was more likely to be described by other epithets that involved a horse’s hind-end, or a steaming pile of male bovine organic fertiliser.

Not ‘bastard’, although that word was also bandied about a lot.  Everyone knew who his parents were, and they also were a pair of loud-mouthed, know-it-all, shit-disturbing assholes.  He came by his talents honestly, although some believed that he attended Graduate School and got a diploma.

There wasn’t a pot he couldn’t stir, a rock he couldn’t turn over, a sacred cow he couldn’t gore, a scab he couldn’t rip off. A nosy gossip, he ferreted out everybody’s secrets, and spread them to the winds.  No confidence was sacred.  No reputation was safe.  He delighted in the distress of others.

If there wasn’t already a reeking chamber pot, he’d provide one. He would sidle to the far end of his plant, and stop to talk to Bob, who didn’t really want him there.  He’d say, “I was just talking to Bill, at the other end.  He don’t know sheepshit from cherry stones.  I think he’s a real asshole, don’t you?”

Bob would nod absently, hoping he’d just go away. He would then ooze back up the floor and tell Bill that Bob had called him an asshole.  Wanting power and adoration, he ran for area Union Steward.  He got elected by people who wanted him on union business, and away from production lines.

He spread a rumor that the company had lost a contract, and that 50 workers would be laid off, just to see the fear and worry on co-workers faces. Dastardly film villains tied helpless maidens to railroad tracks.  Most trains had been phased out, but there was talk of reopening a spur line, just for him.

He could count his friends on one middle-finger salute. When he died, his wife and three of his four children were at the gravesite.  He often blithely spoke of going to Heaven, but I think Satan’s got him as a Union Steward.  They deserve each other.

 

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4 thoughts on “A to Z Challenge –D

  1. shimoniac says:

    I was related to someone like that. It just seems that some people are more appreciated as guests of honour at a funeral. 😛

    Like

  2. BrainRants says:

    Based on the letter, “D,” I’d say you missed a few. Like, ‘dick,’ ‘doofus,’ ‘dingleberry,’ ‘dork,’ damnfuckingmotherfucker’ … to list a few of my favorites. Oh, and ‘Democrat.’

    Like

    • Archon's Den says:

      I knew I could count on you to donate a few more despicable denotations. The 49th parallel (actually, Lake Erie) saves me from Democrats, but Trump’s wall will keep in Canada’s tree-hugging, social-engineering New Democratic Party, a distinction without much of a difference. 😦

      Like

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