Roast Lame Duck

Presidential Seal

In a comment about my recent, less-than-glowing satire about the boy King Tut Justin Trudeau, Canada’s second-youngest Prime Minister, BrainRants, always the instigator, challenged me to skewer U.S. President Obama next.  That’s as hard as trying to nail Jell-O to a tree.  As Gertrude Stein said, “There is no There, There!”  I’m going to try to roast him, even though he looks like he’s already lightly roasted.

Here is a view of Obama’s reign Presidency, from one Canadian Curmudgeon’s point of view.  It has been a most cynical political presentation, not necessarily from Obama, who may actually believe the hype, but by his backers and controllers.  Oops, I almost said ‘owners.’

I was particularly unimpressed with both the early ‘Birther’ scandal, and then, following it, the ‘His second name is Hussein.  Is he really a Muslim?’, both of which seemed designed to keep him in the public eye,  as a victim of Big Business and those nasty, entitled, entrenched Republicans.

His handlers offered him up as a ‘Black President,’ with the motto, ‘Change.’ The more things change, the more they stay the same.  Obama has been about as exciting as tapioca pudding – and almost as white.

Even the idiot-child, George W. Bush, as POTUSThe Next Generation, America’s equivalent to Canada’s ski-bum, yoga instructor Trudeau, could be counted on for something memorable whenever Dick Cheney let go of the marionette strings.

I think Georgie Malaprop has been misunderestimated. He will always be remembered for comedy gems like, “The French don’t even have a word for entrepreneur.”, and his aircraft-carrier comedy show, titled “Mission Accomplished’ will go down in the annals of humor.

Obama will be remembered for…. Sorry, I dozed off.  He doesn’t have the presence and rememberability of even the least of the Kardashians.

Mr. ‘Sunny Ways’, Sonny Trudeau has been castigated for taking selfies at International Meetings, when he should have been practicing Statecraft. Obama just seems to slouch and stump around the White House, hoping that, when it’s all over, he can get a free copy of the official photographer’s Photo-Ops book, when he has to go back and get a real job, and earn his own money.

Obama has been like the black hole of politics. No matter how much heat or light was shined on him, none of it seemed to escape his event horizon and reflect back upon the public.  His P.R. handlers have had to rely a lot on the females of the family. ‘Here’s Michelle, planting and tending a Victory Garden.’ Probably growing poke salad and collard greens, and trying to remember how to make Soul Food.

Or one of his two terminally-cute daughters – usually Malia, the elder. Here she is, out on her first date, where social propriety and birth control are guaranteed by Secret Service Glocks.  Then there’s the story of how she’s going to take a bridge year between High School and college, to do some studying, because she failed Secondary Geography. “Daddy, where’s Kenya?”

Even with the good possibility that his replacement as President will be either Broomhilda the Witch, or Hagar the Horrible, it doesn’t seem to indicate that a lot of people will miss him when he’s gone. Most of them, intentionally or not, have missed him while he was in office.


7 thoughts on “Roast Lame Duck

  1. 1jaded1 says:

    Excellent. The change thing cracks me up. I’d love to read what you have to write about the three that remain. Bernie isn’t going down without a fight. Of course, if you want to post.


    • Archon's Den says:

      As I replied to Jim Wheeler below, my knowledge of American politics is like an oil slick on a parking lot puddle. I chuckle at Bernie’s ‘accent’, but I wouldn’t recognise him if I met him in line at Starbucks.
      The other two???… Hillary’s pragmatic and ambitious. I remember her from “I did not have sexual relations with that woman.” Trump has what it takes to be a successful businessman – but not necessarily the president. He was the model for the ivory-tower magnate, in my ‘Babble’ Flash Fiction. 😯


      • Jim Wheeler says:

        “Successful businessman” ?? Only if you count, as positive, sleazy deception, several bankruptcies and 3,500 lawsuits. Look up the facts on Trump University for a sample.


  2. Jim Wheeler says:

    I usually agree with your posts, Archon, but not this one. To be more specific, it is the cynicism that I disagree with, not the fact that his presidency has been rather boring. I guess it has.

    Or, at least that’s true relative to war. Dubyah had his shock and awe, and that was really exciting. All Obama has done is to diminish war fighting, and shucks, knocking off al Qaeda and Taliban chiefs with drones is the opposite of drama. Bang, right out of the blue, they’re dead. Yawn. Of course, there was the raid that got Osama. (Can you imagine the excitement if that one had failed?) Another opportunity for excitement lost.

    And then there was the time when Barry got into office and inherited an economy in free fall. His esteemed opponents desperately warned against the “financial cliff” and demanded sharp budget cutbacks that would have sent us back into a Greek-llike near depression. Hell, they even shut the whole government down for two weeks trying to do it. That would have been exciting. But no, not Barry’s style. Instead we had, thanks to him, a steady climb back to 5% unemployment and new market highs. Booooring.

    Now Donald Trump just might be the solution. I can only imagine the excitement to come!


    • Archon's Den says:

      You’re absolutely right. I don’t know enough about Obama to do more than superficial, cynical and tongue-in-cheek humor. He seems an able, quiet administrator, rather than a rock-em, sock-em ‘politician’, and I’ve got nothing against that, even if the Vox Populi wants bread and circuses.
      Boring can be beautiful. Some years ago, we approached the loans manager at our credit union for a mortgage. He had our file on his desk as we walked in. He told us that he had no idea who we were. For a loans manager, that was fine, No denied loans, no failure to repay, no garnisheed wages, we were perfect candidates.
      Personally, I prefer Hillary to Trump. They’re both egotistical liars, but she seems more in control. 😕


  3. BrainRants says:

    I won’t dip my toe into a debate of “our” politics. I do love your treatment of B.O.POTUS. My personal opinions of him are just that – my opinion. But hey, he gave your rapier wit a good workout!


    • Archon's Den says:

      Yes. I begin to understand why you need to keep your toes well back. Politics, and this current election, certainly polarize voters’ opinions. I was surprised by the amount of heat from the usually sedate, well-ordered Mr. Wheeler. 😳


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s