Smitty’s Loose Change #2

Smitty's Loose Change

Extra Extra


Caller to distress line gets recorded message


‘It’s fortunate I wasn’t in crisis’

Then why in Hell were you calling the distress line? To find the time of the next bus??!  When I saw the headline, I thought it referred to the 911 line.  When I read it, it turned out to be a suicide prevention hotline, and I cut a little bit of slack.

Still, like idiots who overload the 911 line with complaints that McDonalds didn’t put onions on their Big Mac, if you call a suicide hotline when you’re NOT in crisis, somebody with a bottle of pills, or a car running in the garage can’t get through, and gets the recorded message that you complained of.



If Batmans parents are died how can he be here? The writers didn’t think this threw.” With a picture of Superman, that he’d captioned, “I got to get out off this planet.” (signed) Capt. Darkfeir

Well, if Superman’s going, I’m going with him. I know that this is probably a gamer-boy, still living in his mom’s basement, but, if we’ve got people so lazy and dumb that they can’t/won’t read the back-story to a comic book, society is doomed.

It didn’t occur to him that Bruce Wayne was already 10, when he witnessed his parents’ murder, but he believes himself so smart that he’s spotted a contradiction that no-one else has noticed for 80 years.

I almost left the planet when I saw his ‘parents are died’ construction, and ‘threw’ for ‘through’ usage.  The Superman caption needs some work, although maybe he wants to be Capt. Darkfeir, instead of ‘fire.’


A local man is a powerful bicycling proponent. He rides his bike everywhere in the city.  Recently, his 18-year-old daughter was on her way to school.  She rode her bike without a helmet, on the wrong side of the road, and failed to stop at an intersection.  She was struck and killed by a turning car.  Now he is demanding that some level of government ‘train all young cyclists in bike safety.’

Another man took his 3-, and 5-year-old sons into a busy Tim Horton’s Coffee Shop and ordered a tea. The clerk placed it on the counter in front of him.  Too distracted to pay attention to either his tea or his kids, the tea somehow got knocked over onto the 3-year-old, severely scalding him.  Now he’s whining about, “Why did Tim’s make the tea so hot?”  After that dumb bitch cooked her crotch some years ago, see warning on all cups, “Caution! Contents may be hot.”

When, oh when, will asshats like Bicycle Bob, and Koffee-Shop Klutz, take responsibility for their actions and offspring, and not try to palm it off onto government or business?



Last year I mentioned that there was about a 200 square foot portion of my back yard where the grass had been supplanted by millet, from seeds that birds had spilled from a feeder. The above photo shows what that section of lawn(?) looked like, just before the first mowing this spring.


That’s all the random rants for the moment. We now return to my regularly organized confusion.  😉


11 thoughts on “Smitty’s Loose Change #2

  1. 1jaded1 says:

    Things just don’t make sense…not they have in a long time. Your rants make perfect sense, though.


  2. cyranny says:

    Really enjoyed your rants… Especially the Batman/Superman one! 🙂


  3. Sightsnbytes says:

    seen this in the comments section of a Canadian Tire ad for an electric scooter: “Hi, I bought my electric scooter not to long ago and it has turned out to be one of the worst investments that I have ever made. At first it is great then once water touches the chain and what not it starts to get rusty and then from there on out it has been an absoulte nightmirror. I highly recommend that you do not waste your money on this scooter”

    What the hell is a nightmirror? I would say this person’s spelling is an absolute Nightmare


    • Archon's Den says:

      The writing(?) of too many is a Nightmare! I think the average remains the same, but 10% can spell and use the correct words. The rest create the nightmares. When I read others’ posts, I hit stuff like this all the time. I take copies of the worst, or the funniest for my usage rant posts, and usually ignore the rest. It’s hard. It just jumps at me like an angry baboon.
      Occasionally I leave a correction suggestion. ‘Company A is planning to do this. There not??!’
      I type “They’re not?”
      Three days later, I get, “Whaddya mean by that?”
      Where you wrote ‘There not’, perhaps you intended to use, ‘They’re not?’
      And I get back, “Are you sure?”
      LOOK! IT! UP!


  4. BrainRants says:

    I’m overly-pleased to see that Canada now has their own version of the McFucdald’s own Too Hot Coffee Lady. And I like the millet. Let it go and germinate… ring it with rocks to make it look like you actually planned that shit.


    • Archon's Den says:

      After I mow the flowers off, (despite the grass-catcher bag, seeds spread, and the patch grows) the rest is soft, flat and low to the ground. Actually better than grass. Aside from exhaust fumes, it smells like I’ve used a power salad-shooter. I could toss out some chopped onion and kale, and open a(n) pretentious organic salad bar, for the nerds who’ve come to town to work for Google. 😆


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