You are no longer “cool” when …
- You find yourself listening to talk radio.
- You daughter says she got pierced and you
look at her ears. - The pattern on your shorts and couch match.
- You fondly remember your powder blue leisure
suit. - Your wife buys a flannel nightie and you find
that sexy. - You think Tragically Hip is when a middle-aged
man gets a new sports car, hair piece and a 20
year old girlfriend. - You criticize the kids of today for their
satanic suicide-inducing music, forgetting that
you rocked to Alice Cooper and Black Sabbath. - You call the police on a noisy party next
door instead of grabbing beer and joining it. - You turn down free tickets to a rock concert
because you have to work the next day. - When grass is something that you cut, not
cultivate. - When jogging is something you do to your
memory. - Sex becomes “All that foolishness”.
- Getting a little action means your prune
juice is working. - All the cars behind you turn on their
headlights. - You remember the “Rolling Stones” as a rock
group not a corporation. - You bought your first car for the same price
you paid for your son’s new running shoes. - You actually ASK for your father’s advice.
- When someone mentions surfing, you picture
waves and a board.
***
The hipster was out, driving his new car around, with his arm hanging down the side of the car. A truck coming the other way, crossed the line and sideswiped him, crashing him into a ditch. When a police officer arrived, he was out of the car, walking around it, moaning, “My new Porsche – my beautiful new Porsche!”
The cop said, “You shouldn’t be worrying about your car. You should be worried about your arm.” The hipster looked down at a bleeding stump that ended at the elbow, and started moaning, “My new Rolex – my beautiful new Rolex!”
