You are no longer “cool” when …
- You find yourself listening to talk radio.
- You daughter says she got pierced and you
look at her ears. - The pattern on your shorts and couch match.
- You fondly remember your powder blue leisure
suit. - Your wife buys a flannel nightie and you find
that sexy. - You think Tragically Hip is when a middle-aged
man gets a new sports car, hair piece and a 20
year old girlfriend. - You criticize the kids of today for their
satanic suicide-inducing music, forgetting that
you rocked to Alice Cooper and Black Sabbath. - You call the police on a noisy party next
door instead of grabbing beer and joining it. - You turn down free tickets to a rock concert
because you have to work the next day. - When grass is something that you cut, not
cultivate. - When jogging is something you do to your
memory. - Sex becomes “All that foolishness”.
- Getting a little action means your prune
juice is working. - All the cars behind you turn on their
headlights. - You remember the “Rolling Stones” as a rock
group not a corporation. - You bought your first car for the same price
you paid for your son’s new running shoes. - You actually ASK for your father’s advice.
- When someone mentions surfing, you picture
waves and a board.
***
The hipster was out, driving his new car around, with his arm hanging down the side of the car. A truck coming the other way, crossed the line and sideswiped him, crashing him into a ditch. When a police officer arrived, he was out of the car, walking around it, moaning, “My new Porsche – my beautiful new Porsche!”
The cop said, “You shouldn’t be worrying about your car. You should be worried about your arm.” The hipster looked down at a bleeding stump that ended at the elbow, and started moaning, “My new Rolex – my beautiful new Rolex!”
Great list. I’m comforted that so many of them DON’T apply to me. Yet.
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Yeah, I think you’ve got it too much together to be worried. 🙂
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LOLOL … love #3 …. Fun list ….
Isadora 😎
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Glad you liked it. 😀
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This is a great list, Archon. The anecdote at the end was highly amusing and yet totally plausible.
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Yes, only too plausible. Some psychiatrists get to retire early from treating these insecure egos. 😯
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Possible 2nd career for you, Archon? 😉
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Hmmmm.. I see. So tell me more about why you feel your Mother loved your sister more than she did you….
😆
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See? You have the lingo down pat already.
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😀
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Amazing
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Thanx for the comment, but what, precisely, do you find amazing? The jokes?? I have dozens more in captivity, and know where a couple of families of them live. I usually trot a bunch out about once a month. Stop in again later for another serving. 😆
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