Flash Fiction #136

Vegan

PHOTO PROMPT © Dale Rogerson

CONDEMNED MAN’S HEARTY MEAL

Come on! Give it a try.  You said you agreed that we eat too much artery-clogging meat, and were willing to give a healthy vegan lifestyle a try.

Yeah, but when I agreed to that, I envisioned potatoes and beans, perhaps broccoli and cauliflower – possibly lots of salads, with iceberg or romaine lettuce, radishes, cucumber and green onions – even ovo-lacto, with chopped, boiled eggs and bits of old cheddar cheese. I never imagined eating flowers.  What kind of dressing do you put on them – Kim Kardashian’s perfume??

I can’t wait to put this meal on Instagram. No-one will believe it.  🙄

***

Go to Rochelle’s Addicted to Purple site and use her Wednesday photo as a prompt to write a complete 100 word story.

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25 thoughts on “Flash Fiction #136

  1. Iain Kelly says:

    Ha, and it would end up on instagram too – why do people show pictures of their dinner? Never understood that.

    Like

  2. Funny story, Archon. Give me Brussels Sprouts with a rare steak any day. 😉

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

  3. Miles Rost says:

    Kardashian diet? Iccccck! Well done!

    Like

    • Archon's Den says:

      If eating that drek produces Kardashians, I’m staying away from it! I saw a Kardashianoid at market yesterday. Her pouty lips arrived five minutes before she did, and I was still finishing my hot chocolate when her butt finally left. 😯

      Like

  4. Dale says:

    Hate to tell you… eggs are off the menu for vegans!
    I’ll take the carnivore diet too… especially if you’re offering Kim Kardashian perfume! Blech!

    Like

    • Archon's Den says:

      Like Christians, Vegans come in a wide range. The self-righteous ovo-lacto bunch won’t eat ‘meat’, but will chow down on eggs and milk/cheese.
      A Vegan honcho recently admitted that the diet is not healthy unless you include Vitamin B-12 supplements. 🙄

      Like

      • Dale says:

        Goes to show…
        And frankly, I could never do it!

        Like

      • I’ve never quite figured out why eggs and milk are off limits — nothing is killed producing them. One might fuss about chicken’s tiny cages but dairy cows are treated pretty well. Technically you’d have to shun leather shoes & purses, too, seeing the animal must die first.

        Like

      • Archon's Den says:

        And Al Gore flies all over the world, producing tons of jet aircraft waste…. to promote his new book about man-made global warming 😳 The hypocrisy lies thick upon the ground. 😯

        Like

  5. pennygadd51 says:

    I love the humour of this tale, Archon!

    Like

    • Archon's Den says:

      Viewed from the outside, the vegan lifestyle can be funny. 😆
      Where do you repose that you use the British ‘humour’ version of the word? I write ‘humor’ and ‘honor’ and ‘plow’, for the predominantly American section of my readers. 😉

      Like

  6. granonine says:

    From the title, I thought we were with a prisoner on death row. Now I think maybe he wishes he hadn’t been so quick to agree to less meat 🙂

    Like

  7. Life Lessons of a Dog Lover says:

    This creative take on the prompt made me laugh. Well done.

    Like

  8. I hope you verify it’s all edible before chowing down. Wouldn’t want to see you with a tummy ache. 😔 some thinkers always better in theory.

    Like

    • Archon's Den says:

      How right you are! Tomato leaves are poisonous, green, ‘sunburned’ potatoes contain cyanide, Dumb-Cane can stop a child’s heart or lungs. 😳 And some people worry about GMO food??! 🙄

      Like

      • An elderly acquaintance who’s an avid “all-natural & herbal” fan was telling us one day that “These (anti-cancer) drugs the doctors give you all have side effects. But plant derivatives, being all natural, will have NO side effects!”
        We laughed about it later. Marijuana, Opium, Nicotine, Belladonna, Hemlock, Poison Ivy & Oak, Foxglove, Poinsettia, Castor bean, plus those you mentioned. 🙂

        Like

    • I’m afraid I have the same trouble with auto-correct as Keith. I meant to say Some schemes are better in theory than in practice.

      Like

  9. Varad says:

    Loved it. Flower diet? No, thanks. I’ll stick with my veggie sub, please.

    Like

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