IDIOT SIGHTING

Homer Simpson

IDIOT SIGHTING

I handed the teller at my bank a withdrawal slip for $400.00. I said, ‘May I have large bills, please?’ She looked at me and said, ‘I’m sorry sir, all the bills are the same size.’ When I got up off the floor I explained it to her…

  ***

IDIOT SIGHTING When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.

‘Hey,’ I announced to the technician, ‘it’s open!’

His reply: ‘I know. I already got that side. ‘

***

IDIOT SIGHTING We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a ‘large enough’ motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, ‘Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.’ I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, ‘NO, it’s not.’ Four is larger than two.’

We haven’t used Sears repair since.

***

IDIOT SIGHTING My daughter and I went through the McDonald’s take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, ‘You gave me too much money.’

I said, ‘Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back. She sighed and went to get the manager, who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said, ‘We’re sorry, but we can’t do that kind of thing.’ The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change. Do not confuse the clerks at McD’s.

***

IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for ‘minimal lettuce.’ He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce. In Kansas City.

***

IDIOT SIGHTING I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, ‘Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?’ To which I replied, ‘If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?’ He smiled knowingly and nodded, ‘That’s why we ask.’ Happened in Birmingham, Ala.

***

IDIOT SIGHTING The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it’s safe to cross the street. I was crossing with a co-worker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, ‘What on earth are blind people doing driving?!’ She was a probation officer in Wichita, KS.

***

IDIOT SIGHTING At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear co-worker who was leaving the company due to ‘downsizing,’ our manager commented cheerfully, ‘This is fun. We should do this more often.’ Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.

  ***

IDIOT SIGHTING I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn’t understand why her system would not turn on.

A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriff’s office, no less.

***

A Merry Christmas to all, and to all a Good Night!  Happy Holidays.   😀

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15 thoughts on “IDIOT SIGHTING

  1. shimoniac says:

    It’s not like idiots are an endangered species, it’s the rest of us who are at risk. 😉

    Like

  2. Merry Christmas, G.O.D. May you and yours have an idiot-free day.

    Like

  3. OMG!!! I’m laughing out loud!! 😂😂😂
    Merry Christmas!

    Like

  4. Sightsnbytes says:

    while at a training seminar at a popular hotel line, one of the trainees pointed out how she had an allergy to pork. The attendant reassured her “don’t worry about that my love, there is no pork on the menu. For lunch we have ham sandwiches”

    At the same seminar, I informed the staff about my shellfish allergy, and I too was reassured. “We have absolutely no shellfish on the menu, so you can relax and enjoy your lunch.” They served Crab salad and crab sandwiches.
    And a Very Merry Christ mass to you and your family as well

    Like

    • Archon's Den says:

      Oh dear??! It proves again, my “Where does milk come from?/The supermarket.” claim. The more urbanized we become, the less we know about the food we eat, and it’s important to know.
      There’s nothing on the menu which actually says “Pork”, like pork-chops, or sliced pork roast – therefore there is no ‘pork.’ “Shellfish” comes in shells, like clams or oysters – but not crabs.
      The wife carefully examines every label, and can’t/won’t eat unidentified ‘crab,’ such as Costco samples. She’s not allergic to crab, but cheap/fake crab is actually Pollock fish. She’s allergic to haddock and herring, and not Pollock,, but is allergic to the red dye they add to make it look like real crab meat.
      It’s nice to have a visit and get a comment from you. I feared that, like many others, you were just too busy to play with blogging. A very Merry Christ mass to you and yours, and a Happy, profitable, stress-free New Year. 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Kenneth T. says:

    The power strip one… yeah, I know a guy that did that too.

    Like

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