I like a good long cuddle with my girlfriend after sex…….
…….It’s the quickest way to deflate her.
Apparently someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds….
…..poor bastard
The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach….
….unless he’s a vegetarian, then you can get there through his vagina.
Why was the Pediatrician always losing his temper….
….he had little patients.
One time I forgot how to throw a boomerang….
….but then it came back to me.
What do you call a boring woman with athletes’ foot?….
….anti fun gal.
There’s a new sex position called ‘Delivery Man’….
….You stay in all day, and nobody comes.
How do Flat Earthers travel?….
….on a plane.
I have OCD, which seriously affects my sex life….
….every time a girl gets turned on, I turn them off again
This guy lost his entire left side….
….doctors say he’s alright now
I once got a hand-job from Albert Einstein….
….it was a stroke of genius
Vladimir Putin’s approval rating is 80%….
….the other 20% is missing
There are 10 different kinds of people in the world….
….those who understand binary humor, and those who don’t
How do you stay clean in space?….
….take a meteor shower
Of all my friends….
….I am the most competitive
My wife is always stealing my T-shirts and sweaters….
….but if I take one of her dresses, “We need to talk”
What’s positive about rape?….
….HIV
How did the captain survive the sinking of his ship?….
….He kept a log in his cabin.
What so you call a man with a shovel in his hand?….
….Doug
He digs, she digs, it digs, we dig, you dig, they dig….
….It may not be a beautiful poem, but it’s very deep.
You are truly a treasure…. I hope someone buries you soon. Pa-dum dum.
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I hope not.
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Me too… I only have a short-handled shovel.
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Do you two need some privacy?? 😕 😆
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I can’t suppress my laughter.
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Let it all out. I understand it cuts down on the body count. 😉 😯
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I thought the stomach-to-heart route thing was because stabbing through the ribs is tricky.
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Hold on while I check my anatomy text.
Let’s see….the leg bone’s connected to the nose bone???… 😆
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Hilarious!! I am going to hell for laughing at some of them… but they are hilarious!! 😂
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Somebody else can go to Hell if they don’t like them. Humor and fun are God-given rights. 😀
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Oh man… guffaw, shakes of head, and laugh-out-loud!
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Another politically-incorrect mission accomplished. 😉 😳
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LOL😁
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