Georgia
The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.
He called her into his office and said, “Y’all graduated from the University of Georgia and I need some help. If I wuz to give yew $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?”
The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, “Everthang but my earrings.”
Louisiana
A senior citizen in Louisiana was overheard saying … “When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana.”
When asked why, he replied, “I’d rather be in Louisiana ’cause everythang happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the world.”
***
Alabama
The light turned yellow, just in front of him.
He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.
The tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn, screaming in frustration, as she missed her chance to get through the intersection, dropping her cell phone and makeup.
As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer.
The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up.
He took her to the police station where she was searched, fingerprinted, photographed, and placed in a holding cell.
After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door.
She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.
He said, “I’m very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you and cursing a blue streak at him. I noticed the ‘What Would Jesus Do’ bumper sticker, the ‘Choose Life’ license plate holder, the ‘Follow Me to Sunday-School’ bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk, so naturally….I assumed you had stolen the car.”
Ya gotta love the south!
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Aside from the Florida ‘Subway’ counter girl who, when I ordered the “12 Inch” sub that was advertised on their menu board, wanted to know, Is that like a foot-long?” I’ve never had a problem. 😆
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*face palm* Yes, there is that…. but sadly it’s not only in the south. I once gave a Subway counter girl $10.24 on a $9.24 bill and she said, “You gave me too much.” They walk among us.
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Often, dragging their knuckles. 😛
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I especially love that last one. I think that lady traveled to my area not too long ago …
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We got lucky. Canadian border guards thought that she was Trump’s sister, trying to make Canada great again, and wouldn’t let her in. 😉
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Good ones! I love reading bumper stickers – but have none on my car.
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So I have no excuse to be staring at your rear end? 😉 😯
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Yay for Monday humor.
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Ration it out to the end of the work week. I’ll post some more in 14 days. 😀
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Haha!
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Just a little Monday-morning humor – that you got around to on a Friday. 🙂 Well, a laugh’s a laugh. Stop back for more. 😆
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I do enjoy good Monday humor, but as you can see, I move slow ;P
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