Neither Fish Nor Fowl

Ruler

Canada became metric in 1973….  Or did it??!

So, there was Canada, wedged between England and the United States.  We measured things with the Imperial System – all except where the British 160 ounce gallons, the 40 ounce quarts, and the 20 ounce pints became the wimpy, American Lite 128 oz. gallons, 32 oz. quarts, and 16 oz. pints – and except where you bought a pint of beer, and it was only 12 ounces.

In “Metric” Canada, you can’t buy a pound of butter; you get a 454 gram block.  The wife’s Not-Legally-Pint and Quart glass canning jars are 473ML, and 946ML.  A 12 American ounce can of Pepsi is 355ML in Canada.  At least Canada is not alone in this No-Man’s-Land.  I recently found that the serving ‘Standard’ for beer in Australia is 256ML – or, an 8-ounce cup.  The only time an Aussie bar ever serves just 8 ounces, is to some opal-miner’s 10-year-old daughter.

The weather forecast on the radio doesn’t say that we’ll get an inexact 2 to 3 centimeters of snow, it says that we’ll receive 2 ½ centimeters, because the old guy at Environment Canada still says that it’ll snow an inch.

I thought that all this back and forth might confuse immigrants who are thoroughly embedded in the Metric System, but the Polish women at the EuroFoods store seem to be just as capable of dishing out 300 grams of sliced salami, as they are ¾ of a pound.

We’ve only been at this Metric thing for 45 years now, and with typical Canadian lack of determination, we still haven’t fully committed to it.  This is about the softest conversion that I’ve ever seen.  I wonder if there’s some type of Metric Viagra that could firm things up a bit.  😆

As usual, I hope to see you here again in a couple of days.  Now, let’s see.  In Metric, that’s….  😳  Oh well, come back whenever you like.

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13 thoughts on “Neither Fish Nor Fowl

  1. jim- says:

    That’s pretty funny. Happy new year.

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  2. Metric Viagra? Oh, the possibilities for comments are endless… but I shall refrain!

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  3. Jim Wheeler says:

    Funny stuff. I always found the metric system appealing, the idea of a universal system based on tens rather than the length of a king’s foot. Alas, human nature is indeed stubborn. Once I heard that kilometer (kilometre?) pronounced as two words, kilo and meter, but my Merriam Webster says one word, emphasis on “om”. How do Canadians say it? Grunts say “klicks”.

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    • Archon's Den says:

      Sorry for the delay.
      Canada, or at least Southern Ontario, being a sociological mosaic, pronunciations and spellings are all over the place. I’ve heard and read both locally – but then, we’ve got Mennonites who speak Pennsylvania Dutch-ish. It is to good German, what Yiddish is to Hebrew.
      Older folks, with English heritage are likely to say ‘kill-oh-meter’, and end spelling with ‘er.’ Younger, Canadian-born use the ‘om’-stressed pronunciation. I prefer it.
      French speakers, including bilingual, end the word as ‘re’, and pronounce toward Keel-oh-met-ruh.
      However we spell or pronounce it, the smarter among us know not to imbibe too many of them all at once on the highways. The speeding fine is $124, and 3 demerit points against our driver’s license.
      Grunts say “klicks”, and authors who write by ear and don’t get the joke, often spell it ‘Clicks.’ 😯

      Liked by 1 person

  4. The Metric system just never “took” in the US. We’re lazy… I am kind of glad. I like the regular thing with ounces and miles and inches. I guess if I grew up in Canada I would be better at the math but traveling abroad has me holding my phone to calculate everything!! ugh.. In 1973 I was 10 and already learning the non metric system. Some of us just don’t like change.. lol! Happy New Year Mr Grumpy! 😉

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  5. grogalot says:

    Talk about a wall! There is one that separates the US from the rest of the world and there is no plan to remove it. There are thousands of metric teachers at the southern border, but the US won’t let them in. Go figure.

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    • Archon's Den says:

      Canada has the same-only-different problem. We let in tens of thousands of brown-skinned refugees. Canada has a shortage of doctors, but the bureaucrats won’t let the immigrant ones practice. They’re all driving cabs or selling pizzas. 😯

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  6. Daniel Digby says:

    And what is a metric billion? Is it a thousand million as in the US, or is it the British million million? That may be the only metric measurement the US recognizes.

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    • Archon's Den says:

      Canada just goes along with the American definition, a thousand million — the next sequential larger number with a comma, and three more zeros. It doesn’t matter. No-one in Canada earns enough to count to a billion anyway. We leave that to Trump and cronies.
      I don’t even know what the Brits call our billion. Whatever it is, it ain’t metric. 😉 😳

      Liked by 1 person

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