Insecurity Blanket

security blanket

I was recently reassured that, as a person, I have value.  That’s not something that I usually worry or am in doubt about.  In my usual, humble way, I am normally pleased with who and what I am.  That did not hold entirely true before my recent trip to visit BrainRants.  Online, he seemed like a nice guy, but in person, he would be


Could I keep up?  Would I fit in?

He has two university degrees, and a small string of subsequent educational certificates.  He has more letters after his name than Noah Webster.

I have a Grade 12 education, and a few minor employment-related post-secondary courses.  Of course, over the course of a lifetime almost twice his, I am a continuing scholar of the English language, communication, amateur psychology, and the human condition.  Would that be enough?


He left the Army as an officer.  While I have respect for people in uniforms – police, fire, ambulance, etc. –I am not necessarily impressed with just the fact that someone is an officer.  Too often it merely indicates a slavish, unthinking addiction to rules and regulations, the established system, prevailing policy, and current convention.

He earns five times what the wife and I receive together, in our paltry retirement pensions.  I’ve met some monied ‘gentlemen’ – business owners, and captains of industry.  Some of them were nice.  Others had homes where commoners mowed the lawn, not sat on the furniture.  Would I be accepted?

I had concerns that I was travelling to meet a cultured, scholarly, conservative, socially-judgemental ‘Gentleman.’  I need not have been concerned.  All my petty fretting and worry was for naught.  The true mark of a gentleman is his ease with any company, in any situation.  True gentleman that he is, he immediately and completely put me at ease.  I kept up.  I fit in.  What I was, was accepted and enough.

We spent a glorious week, discussing a wide range of topics, unaffectedly bouncing erudite words off each other in normal conversation – and letting the other know that we’d noticed (Paucity – Ding!  There’s another.)

He was the stereotypical common man, who just happened to have more formal education and income than me.  He was the kind of guy that I might have been, without my learning disabilities.  I will never doubt myself again!  Thanx, Rants, for providing far more than just a great getaway vacation.  😀

11 thoughts on “Insecurity Blanket

  1. Dale says:

    Definitely signs of a gentleman and a scholar!
    And, why do we judge ourselves so harshly? More education and money do not equal class, grace and good manners…
    I bet under that attempt at looking like an old crank, lies a good heart and decent man…


    • Archon's Den says:

      I’m not normally self-judgmental, but after hanging out for years with pond scum who get lost in words with more than 4 letters, and needing to take out a payday loan for a transit ticket, Rants seemed so above that, and I felt unsure. He reassured me.
      Thanx for the compliment. There are still lots of things that merit being cranky about, but for those who deserve it, I try to be a nice guy. 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  2. jim- says:

    I thank you sir. That was entertaining. I left this comment over there
    “I tend to slip in a lot of neologisms in my writing. Maybe Archon has subliminized me. Some of those words you posted here are a mouthful. I also like words where you can tell the meaning just by the sound they make. Audiodefinitively awesome.


  3. BrainRants says:

    Thank you, Archon. You’re too generous. Most times, I find myself assuming I’m not up to snuff by comparison to the rest of the world. The struggle always continues, though, because entropy is a motherfucker.


    • Archon's Den says:

      I knew that you were intelligent, creative, and well-spoken/written…. Then you became Schrödinger’s cat. Either you were all that – and ‘everyday Joe Niceguy’, or, all that and – ‘rigid, nose-in-the-air snoot.’ I don’t handle “Snoot” well. 500 miles might be a big mistake. It was a quiet blast. Thanx for putting up with my maunderings. 😀


  4. H.E. ELLIS says:

    You are too hard on yourself, I think. Whenever the kids and I get hung up on a word we instantly think, “Let’s ask Archon!”


    • Archon's Den says:

      Here’s where the amateur psychology comes in. Was I “trying to please my Father,” even if Rants is young enough to be my son?? I think it was more a worry that he might be Army-inflicted rigid. I am more ‘take life as it comes,’ than ‘let’s pound all these square pegs into those round holes.’ A week of life with you was casually elegant. 😀
      T has been too busy teaching procrastination class to get around to preparing L’s present. If/when she does, I have a little something for you, to go with it, that I think you’ll get a kick out of. I’ll send you War And Peace a little email to explain. 😎 🌯


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s