For chemists, alcohol is not a problem….
….It’s a solution.
Despite the high cost of living….
….it remains popular.
I before E, except after C….
….disproved by Science
Please cancel my subscription….
….to your issues
Lif is too short
Couldn’t claustrophobia be cured by just thinking outside the box?
Some people are wise….
….some are otherwise
We’ll, we’ll, we’ll….
….if it isn’t autocorrect
Rick O’Shea….
….Is a bulletproof Irishman
My relationship with whiskey….
….is on the rocks
I hate it when people accuse me of lolly-gagging….
….when I’m clearly dilly-dallying.
After my friend turned vegan….
….it was like I’d never seen herbivore
My wife says I’m the cheapest person she’s ever met….
….I’m not buying it
If a midget smokes weed….
….does he get high, or just medium?
I accidentally handed my wife a glue-stick, instead of a Chap Stick….
….She still isn’t talking to me
Some people are like clouds….
….When they go away, it’s a brighter day
What’s black and never works?….
….Decaffeinated coffee, you racist
Life and beer are very similar….
….Chill for best results
Terrible summer for Humpty-Dumpty….
….but he had a great fall
I’m diagonally parked….
….in a parallel universe
