Elevator Etiquette

20 fun things to do in an elevator…

1. Grimace painfully while slapping your forehead and muttering, “Shut up dammit, all of you just SHUT UP!”
2. Whistle the first 7 notes of “It’s a Small World” incessantly.
3. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask, “Got enough air in there?”
4. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
5. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
6. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to pull the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
7. Lean over to another passenger and whisper, “Ever had a Wet Willy?”
8. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you “Admiral.”
9. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: “I’ve got new socks on.”
10. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back, “Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!”
11. Meow occasionally.
12. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
13. Frown and mutter, “Gotta go, gotta go,” then sigh and say, “Oops!”
14. Walk on with a cooler that says “Human Head” on the side.
15. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce, “You’re one of THEM!” and move to the far corner of the elevator.
16. Burp, then say, “Mmmmm…..tasty!”
17. Say, “Ding!” at each floor.
18. Announce in a demonic voice, “I must find a more suitable host body.”
19. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
20. Stare at your thumb and say, “I think it’s getting bigger.”