I got a new dry-erase board at work….
….It’s remarkable
People who can’t distinguish between etymology and entomology….
….bug me in ways that I cannot put into words
I could tell you about my addiction to reading books….
….but that’s another story
If you boil a funny-bone….
….you get a laughing-stock
….This is humerus.
I didn’t think that my orthopedic shoes would work….
….but I stand corrected
Why did the coffee file a police report?….
….It got mugged
A toothpick saw a hedgehog….
….”Oh, wow, a bus.” it said.
How do you teach schoolchildren about God?….
….Gather them all in a classroom, and then don’t show up.
I swallowed a laxative with Holy water….
….I’m going to start a religious movement
I nearly bought a hill today….
….but it was too steep
Some people think my puns are juvenile….
….but I like to think of them as full groan
I once had a job prospecting for gold….
….but it didn’t pan out
I got a job in a guillotine factory….
….I’ll be heading there soon
I had amnesia once….
…or twice???
They told me that I was gullible….
….and I believed them
You shouldn’t try to write with a broken pencil….
….It’s pointless
I was addicted to the Hokey-Pokey….
….but I turned myself around
Never argue with a fool….
….they will lower you to their level, and beat you with experience
How do you seduce a fat woman?….
….piece of cake
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way….
….so I stole a bike, and asked for forgiveness
Practice makes perfect….
….but nobody’s perfect, so why practice?
The floor was so dusty….
…. that it seemed to be suffering from sweep deprivation.
