That’s right, ladies and gentlemen. Down here at Honest Archon’s Amusement Academy, we’re overstocked with humor. We have a
of jokes. We have to clear this place to the bare walls. Today only, for the first fifty people who read this blog-post, we are giving away, absolutely free, 1 refurbished Blonde joke, and 2 brand-new Knock-Knock jokes. Here’s a partial catalog of our jokes. Come get ‘em while they’re hot.
There’s a fine line between a numerator, and a denominator.
Only a fraction of people will get that joke.
I’m divided on it.
Friend; I heard a great joke the other day, but I don’t know whether I told you.
Me; Is it really funny?
Me; Then you haven’t
When I was young, people told me that if I drank 5 glasses of milk, I’d grow up strong and be able to move walls.
Now that I’m older, I can drink 10 pints of beer, and the walls move all by themselves
I’ve reached that age where my brain goes from, “You probably shouldn’t say that.” to, “What the Hell, let’s see what happens.”
Yes, I walked away mid-conversation. You were boring me to death, and my survival instinct kicked in.
There is no “We” in fries!
I wanted to be some hot chick’s sugar daddy, but I can only afford to be an artificial sweetener daddy.
Be the reason someone smiles today.
Or the reason they drink.
When someone says, “Expect the unexpected” slap them and say, “You didn’t expect that, did you?”
AND NOW, FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY ONE-LINE
My wife is still hot….
….It just comes in flashes now
….National Eat Your Kids’ Halloween Candy after they’ve gone to bed day
It’s all fun and games….
….till Santa checks the naughty list
The first step is admitting you’re a problem
I used to suffer from soap addiction….
….but I’m clean now
….are not what they used to be
For every action….
….there’s an over-reaction
Where there’s a will….
….there’s a won’t
What do you call a belt made of watches?….
….A waist of time
She only made whiskey….
….but I loved her still
Electricians have to strip….
….to make ends meet.
In search of fresh vegetable puns….
My internet was down yesterday so I chatted with my wife for a change….
….I was surprised to learn that she didn’t work for Woolworths anymore.
A proverb walks into a bar, and then leaves almost immediately….
….The bartender mutters, “It goes without saying.”
A probability walks into a bar….
….and the bartender wonders, “What are the chances?”
A déjà-vu walks into a bar and sits down….
….The guy beside her says, “Haven’t I seen you somewhere?”
What do I have up my sleeve for the letter Q?? Stop back later to find out. 😀