May I Have Another Word?

Stunned Emoji

PROS

Slithers of tectonic plates were driven down – They slithered to the dictionary page with slivers on it.

The wide birth of the cave is peculiar – A woman with large hips would give it a wide berth.

Brian slipped out of the in – English classes were being held at the inn.

A grizzly murder had been committed – apparently by a bear. That misspelling is just grisly.

‘Fast And Furious’s a suped– up series – No soup for you till you learn to spell it.

Roberts County Spelllimg Bee – We’re paying some teachers wayyy too much.

Looking for a Labary Assistant to work in the College Labaries – An applicant will never find it, spelled like that.

Why are the edges of coins rigid? – The entire coins are rigid. Only the edges are ridged.

AMATEURS

arguments against same-sex mirage – In many Bible-belt areas, that’s all same-sex marriage is.

Catholic Church hired a loyer – Shoulda hired an English teacher

Those cowereds will not debate real Christians – Maybe I’m a coward cuz I cowered when I read that

Self-sufficiency is tooted as a good thing – Literacy is also touted as a good thing.

Such coal-hearted policies give me a bad name – Santa gives you coal, but he’s not cold-hearted

A ballistic midsole attack – apparently, someone’s throwing shoes at us

As though of us were taught – Those of us who listened in school, know otherwise

Ajan 007 always gets the girl – Perhaps his agent could help him spell it

I’m of Caribbean decent – and your English usage has gone down also

Like Bell, from Beauty and the Beast – The belle of this bawl, is a ding-dong.

I want to see the I fold tower in Paris – see it quick, before it collapses

Your maken yourself look bad – but not as bad as you’re makin’ that misusage look

Well, this is akward – it would be a lot less awkward if you put another W in it

I don’t sensor his Twitter account – You should censor your own, or at least proofread it.

I needed to look for I’dI’d suggest that you look for it

For sale – crystal shandaler – It’s crystal-clear, he doesn’t know what a chandelier is.

For sale – full set of Hooked On Phoenix – I prefer Cincinnati, where I got hooked on phonics.

Freud spoke of bewaring of crusaders – These are how new words reach the language

I don’t deserve the commisery – non-standard portmanteau of misery, and commiseration. – see above

The rain runs down the ease-drop – actually, it runs down the downspout, from the eaves-trough

Crosswords

Rug, slangily = toupee – No! No! No! Toupee, slangily, is a rug, but not the other way around.

Nautical time unit = bell – A bell (or bells) is a point in time. It is no more a “time unit, than two o’clock is.

Addenda

“It’s unclear how serious the driver’s injuries were after the driver was passed on to Waterloo Regional paramedics.” The driver received injuries after the paramedics arrived?? Did they drop the gurney as they were putting him into the ambulance? And I don’t think that I like the term ‘passed on’ and ‘paramedics’ in the same sentence.

“Speed, impaired driving, distracted driving, and not wearing seatbelts are the “fatal four” causes of such crashes, police say.” Unfastened seatbelts cause accidents?? Only if you’re not wearing one, spot a roadside checkpoint, and glance down to put it on.

 

12 thoughts on “May I Have Another Word?

  1. Dale says:

    My head hurts now… Not to mention my eyes! Glad to see I’m not the only one who is disturbed by the spelling errors out there. Oy!

    Like

    • Archon's Den says:

      There are still a few of us who care, and know. The misusages are becoming more complex. Simple homophone inversions (your/you’re), are giving way to made-up words like ease-drop. 😳
      Next week we’ll be discussing ‘thank you – no problem 👿 in the retail world, and why I will be in jail for assault. 😯

      Liked by 1 person

      • Dale says:

        There are many of us who still care. And do NOT get me started on your/you’re. It’s easy to see why it happens, just listen to peeps speak. They SAY your when they mean you’re. Ugh. Supposebly we are being pedantic 😉
        I feel ya.

        Like

  2. Well, since I hail from Oklahoma, I’m most likely guilty of every one of these transgressions…

    Like

  3. Rivergirl says:

    I pity people who have to learn English as a second language. It’s all over the place!

    Like

    • Archon's Den says:

      I often find that the people who get ESL handle the language better than the natives, because they actually work to learn it. The co-worker who asked me why I study English, (’cause we all speak it) had the new immigrant from Chile help him with his production report. 😳

      Like

  4. Crystal Shandaler is a good name for a country music singer. One of many gems in a delightful list. And don’t get ME started on the official Merriam-Webster acceptance of “them” for “him” or “her.” I’ve been fighting the good fight on that one for years, and it looks like I’ve lost.

    Like

    • Archon's Den says:

      Yes, I’ve surrendered on that one too. It’s not ‘right,’ but it’s functional, which, I suppose is the deciding factor. 😯
      I have nothing against country music…. as long as the country is Estonia. Shania Twain got her start in a hard-rock mining town a couple of hundred miles north of here. Not a lot of cowboys or plowboys up there. Go Shania – and don’t come back. 😉 😆

      Like

  5. As a self-employed freelance writer, I have made my share of errors these days.

    Like

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