30 Day Challenge – Twofer

9: Your Last Kiss
11: Your current relationship, if single, discuss how single life is

I put these two together, because I’m not really going to write about either, yet they kinda go together.

The wife and I are now closing in on 53 years of marriage, but I’m sure that there are readers who would be surprised to find that there is not an abundance of “Love.”  For much of history, and much of the world, marriage was a socio-commercial undertaking.  Even today, ‘arranged marriages’ are common, and their divorce rates are lower than the ‘marriage for love’ ones.  They are based on mutual respect and adaptation.

I’m assuming that the author meant a passionate, ‘love-induced’ kiss, not the How Are You peck on the cheek from a sister-in-law.  At the three-quarters of a century mark, there’s not a lot of passion left.  The son says that he gets strange looks from co-workers when he tells them that we are each just hanging on until the other dies – dark humor, that boy.

Hoggimus-Higgimus
Man is polygamous
Higgimus-Hoggimus
Woman’s monogamous
It is said that a man will trade love for sex, and a woman will trade sex for love.  The wife and I have learned to respect each other, and there certainly has been a great deal of adaptation over the years.  There was a certain degree of love to get the marriage started, but…. 

A man chases a woman – until she catches him.  I came home one day from work, to find that the coffee klatch at my house had not disbanded.  I heard the wife telling the neighborhood women that she picked me, because she felt that I was very intelligent, and she thought that smart men made more money.  Oh, you sexy minx!  You had me at ‘Credit Check.’  I am the victim of an arranged marriage.  It was just my wife who arranged it.

I am not displeased or disappointed with my married life.  Only occasionally do I wonder how things would have gone in other circumstances.  One of my online friends has been divorced and living alone for 30 years.  I don’t have the self-sufficiency to live alone.  I need a zoo-keeper to care for and feed me.  As a mild sociopath, I could probably handle the isolation, but I still value the social and intellectual stimulation from my children, and now grandson and granddaughter-in-law.

There have been few periods in our marriage that could be described as brilliant fireworks.  That’s probably a good thing.  Slow and steady wins the race.  I have seen those whose lives, including their marriage, have been roller-coaster ups and downs.  Eventually the downs seem to be such a contrast, that they decide to give up and change them.  Divorce is survivable.  Suicide is not.

Our marriage has not been boring.  We have been able to travel a bit, and see and experience some interesting places and things.  Now that we are (much) older, and the bodies and the bank account are weak and creaky, we are learning to use our electronics for entertainment and social connections – like this.

Thanx for stopping by to read this unexciting description of Same Old – Same Older.  I’ll haul out more interesting info for next time.  Wanna hear about the neighbor who’s a drug dealer?

***

I’m still (reluctantly) getting used to this damned Block Editor. I’ve figured out most of it but, can someone tell me where to find the control for color of text??

19 thoughts on “30 Day Challenge – Twofer

  1. My ex and I were together for 23 years, and our marriage was more about friendship and respect than about passion. We enjoyed each other’s company. We had good times and bad times, and for many years together the good times topped the bad times. I always told myself that if the bad times started to top the good times, it would be time to end the marriage. Gradually the bad times did top the good times, and I think both of us hated to let each other go, but finally one day I spoke up and said we should decide if we wanted to stay married, and he agreed, and so we ended the marriage. And we stayed friends. That was 28 years ago. My ex has married again, but I have not, and I probably will not. I am living with someone, because I am an introvert with depression, and I have found I do not do well living single. But my current relationship is again about friendship and respect. That may be the best I can manage. But it works.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Wow, 53 years! Congrats! Me and hubby are together for 18 years When he gets too annoying, being single again is soooooo tempting! LOL! I guess no one’s perfect and I’ve found myself the perfect man to annoy for the rest of my life. o(*>ω<*)o

    Like

  3. Rivergirl says:

    53 years! That’s a rarity these days… my hat is off to you, and your zookeeper.
    😉

    Liked by 1 person

  4. sudrakarma says:

    53 years. Wow. It’s been 20 married and 29 together for me and the wife. We’re mostly just “house partners” now. After discovering she’s essentially asexual (took me long enough), the sex life is officially over. It’s difficult to imagine being single again, as it is difficult to imagine going on without any physical intimacy, but we trudge on nonetheless; creatures of habit.

    Like

    • Archon's Den says:

      Wow, a day for confessions. What have I started?? My condolences. At least you’ve been able to deal with it. After my wife went through menopause (WE) unilaterally decided that we were finished with that silliness. 😳

      Liked by 2 people

  5. spwilcen says:

    Click the text box and an option bar displays (bold, italics, etc) to the right of the “link” icon is a Capital “A.” Click that and a color option displays.

    Like

    • Archon's Den says:

      Thank you so much. I’ll sit down with my resident computer nerd on the weekend (We’re on different shifts) and see if he can retrain me. I need to look for the link icon while we’re at it. 😀

      Like

  6. 1jaded1 says:

    Hey Archon. This is a most interesting read and I’m glad you shared it. I could never gauge how my parents felt toward each other. They were married for 40 years until death did they part when my dad died. I like your son’s humor. I once caught my dad crying when my mom went in for emergency surgery. The room was dark and I knew well enough to leave alone. It was then that I knew he loved her. He knew how to cook, clean and take care of himself, so he didn’t need her that way.

    In contrast, my mom tells stories ripping apart my dad now that he’s dead. I don’t know if they are true or not. I finally had enough and told her what I saw that night. Radio silence. She didn’t need him to take care of her either. She was a latchkey kid at the age of 9.

    Maybe it was a match made in that mythological place people call heaven.

    Wow. That went on a ginormous tangent to nowhere.

    Anyway, thank you for posting.

    Like

  7. Dale says:

    Can’t help you with the block as I refuse to use it (I go through the Admin page, always have and have no plans to change).

    As for being married 53 years, if you’ve reached a place where you are both comfortable with it as it is, then that’s a good thing. Who knows where Mick and I would have ended up if he had survived longer than our 20 years together? We were best friends and had lots of fun together. Isn’t that what counts?

    Liked by 1 person

  8. At age 57, I’m not marrying again. Supposedly you can switch back to the Classic Editor, but I haven’t figured it out yet.

    Like

  9. 1jaded1 says:

    Weak Catholic pun incoming. I’ll try not to make it a “habit”. This one touched something in my nonexistent soul. Nonetheless, I look forward to reading more.

    Liked by 1 person

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