I had my patience tested….
….I’m negative.
Is there rehab for gossiping?….
….I don’t need it, but I’ll tell you does.
The sign on the brothel door said….
….Beat it, we’re closed.
If at first you don’t succeed….
….We have a lot in common.
I f***ing love asterisks….
….I swear by them.
I’m writing a book about hurricanes and tornadoes….
….So far it’s just a draft.
….That first draft really blew me away.
How did the preacher get people to have faith in his words?….
….He became a scientist.
I hope Elon Musk never gets into a scandal….
….Elon-gate is too drawn-out.
A fine is a tax for doing wrong….
….A tax is a fine for doing well
My friend Jack claims that he can talk to vegetables….
….Jack and the beans talk.
Those who get too big for their britches….
….Will be exposed in the end.
Why do bagpipers walk while they play?….
….To get away from the noise.
Nobody thought that Mel Gibson could play a Scot, but look at him now….
….Alcoholic, and a racist.
The three worst blogging mistakes….
….1: Overpromising
….2: Underdelivering
Banks should do a better job of keeping their ATMs filled….
….I went to five today, and they all said Insufficient Funds.
Misspell one word, and the whole text is….
….Urined.
My psychiatrist said that I was immature, so I said I wanted a second opinion….
….He said that I was also delusional.
I have the memory of an elephant….
….I saw it at the zoo.
You know what always catches my eye?….
….Short people with umbrellas.
Lazy person fact #4348791….
….You’re too lazy to read that number.
Pluto just had a party….
….He didn’t even planet.
A man with schizophrenia walked into a bar….
….He bumped into nothing, because the bar is not real.
How do you walk a dog with no legs?….
….Hit him with the first pitch.
Hahaha…I ❤️ *** 👍😜😂😂😂
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You’re absolutely right. 🙂
Curtsies – trips on tutu – falls on face 😉 😆
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Omg. I only made it to the brothel sign without cracking up.
🤣
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It’s not a contest, as I’ve seen some comedy posts presented – You Laugh – You Lose. Giggle, tee-hee, guffaw as much as you want, anywhere you want. I’ll be back later with more. 😆 😀
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😆😂😂
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I’ve mist you. 😉
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😆
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LOVE this one:
A fine is a tax for doing wrong….
….A tax is a fine for doing well
Sorry for the “political” intrusion, but being resentful and envious of people who are wealthier than you is not a sound basis for public policy.
If I’ve earned it legally, saved it legally and invested it legally, then it belongs to me.
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The “temporary” income tax, to finance fighting WW I is now 107 years old. Whether political, or religious, our betters want their cut, even if they do nothing – or the wrong thing – to deserve it. 😯
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Amen, sir, amen…
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As a former math tutor, I felt compelled to read the number anyway.
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That’s spelled OCD, isn’t it?? 😉 😳
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