And Now For Some MATH One-Liners

MATH stands for….
….Mental Abuse To Humans.

I put my root beer in a square glass….
….Now it’s just beer.

Do you know what seems odd to me?….
….Numbers that aren’t divisible by 2

Why should the number 288 never be mentioned?….
….It’s two gross.

What are ten things you can always count on?….
….Your fingers.

How can you make seven an even number?….
….Just remove the S.

My girlfriend is the square root of -100….
….She’s a perfect 10, but imaginary.

I knew a mathematician who couldn’t afford lunch.
….He could binomials.

Why was the equal sign so humble?….
….She knew that she wasn’t greater or less than anyone else.

Why did Pi get his drivers’ licence revoked?….
….He didn’t know when to stop.

Are vampires good at math?….
….Not if you Count Dracula.

Why is math codependent?….
….It relies on others to solve its problems.

How can you stay warm in a cold room?….
….Huddle in the corner.  It’s always 90 degrees.

Why was algebra so easy for the Romans?….
….X was always 10.

What did the zero say to the eight?….
….Nice belt.

Did you hear the joke about the statistician?…

He got soaked crossing a river….
….because it was one foot deep on average.

Why is statistics no-one’s favorite subject?….
….It’s just average.

When you keep missing math class….
….It really starts to add up.

Why didn’t sin and tan go to the party?….
….Just cos.

What did the triangle say to the circle?….
….You’re pointless.

What shape should you always be careful of?….
….A trap-azoid.

Who’s the King of the pencil case?….
….The ruler.

What do baby parabolas drink?….
….Quadratic formula.

What do you call an angle that’s gone through the garbage disposal?….
….A wrecked-angle.


16 thoughts on “And Now For Some MATH One-Liners

  1. Newbloggycat says:

    I know I can count on you for some great math one liners. Y, you’re the x-pert! 👍😜😂


  2. Rivergirl says:

    Extremely groan worthy. But I chuckled all the same…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. rulesoflogic says:

    LOVED this one:

    My girlfriend is the square root of -100….
    ….She’s a perfect 10, but imaginary.


  4. Ever notice how 1/3 is .3-repeating, and 2/3 is .6-repeating, yet somehow 1/3 + 2/3 = 1? So 1 is NOT 1, it’s .9-repeating. 80

    Just don’t ask me to divide by zero – like me, it’s both imaginary and dangerous to computers. (Or, for us old farts, it’s like Loading and Branching to Register 14. See how many folks get THAT ancient IBM reference! 😀 )


  5. Garfield Hug says:

    HAHAAHA!! Thanks for the laughs!! Totally agree on MATH.


  6. […] Den shared some clever Math One-liners that will make you and your students either roll on the floor with laughter or roll your […]

    Liked by 1 person

  7. As a former algebra and SAT prep tutor, I approve.

    Liked by 1 person

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