Contrary To Popular Belief

Contrary to popular belief, the Internet doesn’t know everything.

My Mind recently went for a little walk, unaccompanied, but properly masked.  When it returned, it brought back a tiny piece of my childhood – a strange little piece called


I know that it existed, because Mad Magazine did a send-up on it, and I once read an article saying that jokesters spoofed it with names like Igotta Laboratory, Wewanna Lab. and Theyhadda Lab.  Whether they ever heard of the Laboratory, smart marketers are still using the cutesy name to identify companies like, Uneeda Taxi, Uneeda Tire Center, and Uneeda Burger.

In my youth, I never investigated what Uneeda Laboratory researched, so I plugged it into both Bing and Google.  I got back a black hole.  😯  Nabisco made biscuits that they called Uneeda, back in the early 1900s.  There’s a coated abrasives firm which makes Uneeda wire wheels, sanding belts, and grinding wheels, but they market them as Tanis Brush.  They brag that they’ve been in business for 50 years, but my memories of Uneeda are 65 years or more old.

In the 1960s, there was a Brooklyn company that made a product called Uneeda Dolls.  The dolls are long gone, and the company was bought up by a Hong Kong firm called Tony Toys.  There’s a tiny village named Uneeda in West Virginia, about as big as a mole on a chipmunk’s nose.  It’s not large enough for another outhouse, much less a laboratory.  I’ve heard the joke that, “My home-town was so small; the McDonalds only had one arch.”  This village of 391 at a bend in a mountain road claims to have a McD’s, but there is no arch.

Dictionary sites don’t recognize the name.  It’s probably because I’m a grumpy old technological Luddite: I just don’t know what search terms to enter into search engines like Bing or Google.  When I enter meaning Uneeda, I am referred to the Nabisco biscuits, or the coated-abrasives, sites.  That’s what Uneeda is, not what the word means.

If I enter meaning name Uneeda, I am presented with 6 or 8 baby name sites which claim to know the meanings of every name, but don’t.

Meaning – baby boy name – Uneeda
Meaning – baby girl name – Uneeda

Each and every one of them is a Wiki-style site.  They all say, “We do not currently have a meaning for the name Uneeda.  If you have a meaning for the name Uneeda, please enter it.”

And so, the origin and history of the famous Uneeda Laboratory fades into the mists of time.  Have any of you ever heard of the Uneeda Laboratory?  If you know the meaning of Uneeda Laboratory, please enter it.


11 thoughts on “Contrary To Popular Belief

  1. Garfield Hug says:

    Is MAD Magazine still in print? I do not see these in the bookstores here. I thought it disappeared with internet taking over. Love your post as always Archon. I remember reading MAD magazine in USA. But I cannot find any in Lil Red Dot.


  2. Rivergirl says:

    I remember both Mad magazine and Uneeda biscuits …. which were great with butter…. but I’m afraid I come up blank on the the laboratory .


    • Archon's Den says:

      I don’t remember the Uneeda biscuits. I don’t even know what they looked like. perhaps we were too poor, or unadventurous in our food buying – or maybe Nabisco didn’t ship them north to the Canadian tundra. They sent me shredded wheat from Niagara Falls. Now they’re made by Post, and I eat the spoon-sized. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. In 1984 this was known as word speak and the only thoughts or memories recorded was that of the party.


    • Archon's Den says:

      I am bewildered by your claim. Word speak – or wordspeak – was not in the novel, 1984. Did you mean newspeak? Programs like Merriam-Webster, and do not include it. It seems to have first emerged in The Urban Dictionary, about 2011, and the definition given does not match anything in this post. 😯

      Liked by 1 person

      • My mistake, it is newspeak.
        I believe it was a machine the protagonist used with a microphone to speak in. They would change the news and the history behind it on a daily basis.


      • Archon's Den says:

        That was the first instance that I know about, of voice to text. And people think that Captain Kirk’s flip-phone communicator predicted future technology. 😳 🙂


      • Right…. I love Star Trek and often enjoyed Q, questioning humanity for it’s history of violence and oppression.
        I re read 1984 last year and find everytime I read it, I find it closer to our modern day now more than ever.

        Liked by 1 person

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