Mixed Bag Fibbing Friday

Questions for last week were a mixed bag and Pensitivity101 was looking forward to reading what we came up with – finally.

  1. What is a bobby pin?

That was the Choke Hold/Body Slam that the Security Patrol Police Officer put on the lout who recently threw eggs at Bonnie King Charlie.

2. What is a Whoopee Cushion?

It’s the device that short, little MS Goldberg uses, to appear to be as tall as the rest of the Valkyrie co-hosts on The View.

3. What is a cock-a-poo?

That’s the cutesy name that the nurses give to the commodes in the men’s sections of the old-folks homes long-term care facilities.

4. Why are some chicken eggs brown and some white?

White eggs are caused by sun-bleaching, by light that enters henhouses while various chickens leave the nest, and root for food during the day.  When some farmers found out how much they could charge for brown eggs, by calling them ‘Organic,’ they boarded up all the windows.

5. How would you describe cardboard?

Foursquare, upstanding and self-contained, are the only words that come to mind.  It’s difficult to think outside the box.

6. What do a pony and monkey have in common?

They do not believe in Creation.  An All-Knowing God would not have been dumb enough to put Mankind in charge of the Earth.  The Great Apes have filed an injunction to have a portion of the family tree lopped off.

7. What is a USB key?

Similar to the Bat Signal, it’s the device I use to summon my creative Muse.  Either it needs a new battery, or Erato is on an extended, drunken orgy with Bacchus – again.  No inspiration this week.  😳

8. What is a golden handshake?

It’s one that you don’t want to get from any of the staff at a food-service business.  That’s the reason that restaurants have signs in their washrooms that insist, “Staff must wash hands before returning to work.”

9. What is an orange pippin?

It’s just an ordinary pippin that wanted to do some sun-bathing, but forgot to slather on lots of SPF Global Warming/End of the World sunscreen.  Note:  may be related to a certain ex-US President.

10. What is Teflon?

I’m still not sure.  I tried to do some online research, but none of the information seemed to stick with me.

14 thoughts on “Mixed Bag Fibbing Friday

  1. A bobby pin is what you use to keep your Bobby Sherman records together. Teflon is slang for a great lawyer – what most crime dons use. According to the 3 Stooges, a pippin is an apple with the skin on the outside, hence an orange pippin is an outside-skinned apple grown in certain parts of Florida (and at the top of some buildings in various US cities). A USB key is the musical key most people use to sing the Star-Spangled Banner – it should be sung in the key of USA. And cardboard is just California paper – ya know, paper that’s a real airhead. 😀

    If you want more of these, WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!?!? 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • Archon's Den says:

      Well, they say that misery idiocy loves company. 😉 😎
      BTW: Do you know the name of that little disc-shaped harmonica-thing that the music teacher used to blow into, to start the choir on the right note? 😕 😀

      Like

      • My directors called them a pitch pipe. I think that’s the right term. I’ve heard the word “ocarina”, but I believe that’s an actual instrument (of sorts).

        Like

      • Archon's Den says:

        Thanx! That’s the one. I might have remembered it before they carved it on my tombstone. Ocarina (also known as a sweet potato) is an instrument, similar to the non-disc version of pitch pipe. They can be carved from small, dried gourds. I believe one of the prisoners in The Great Escape played one. Steve McQueen’s character??! Nah, he had that dammed baseball. 😳

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    • HEY! You ain’t allowed to cuss out baseball. Only us Cubs fans get to do that! (Disclaimer: I hate the game, but love Wrigley Field. How’s that for a split personality? 😉 )

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      • Archon's Den says:

        Easy hoss! I’m not dissing baseball as a game. I just remember someone going into “the box” with a baseball to constantly thwap against the floor and wall, to pass the time. 🙂

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      • Sure that wasn’t one of your kids, when they were younger? I used to thunk tennis balls off the garage door for fun. ‘Course, I had the choice of 3 overhead doors to pick from, and the work of choosing made me give it up. Now I just thunk my head off walls. I don’t have to retrieve it (most of the time) and it hurts less than my migraines. Though finding a suitable racket has been a real … um … female dog… 😉

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      • Archon's Den says:

        You thunk your head off walls??! Poor walls! While visions of concussions dance through their studs…. 😉 😳

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  2. Great answers my friend. See you next time!!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Newbloggycat says:

    Lol! Well done! Here’s your prize 🍭🍬🍭🍬🍭🍬🍭🍬🍭🍬🍭🍬🍭

    Liked by 1 person

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