It was Friday the 13th so last week, Pensitivity101’s selection was based on superstitions.
Make up your own reasons for these please:
- Why were people given middle names?
So that children could know just how pissed Mom was at them this time.
Margaret Elizabeth Robertson, you get in here this minute.
2. Why do we cover our mouths when we yawn?
To keep all the stupid from leaking out.
3. Why do we say ‘Bless You’ when somebody sneezes?
It’s a code phrase, meaning, Keep it down. I’m trying to quietly enjoy a mint julep here. One of my cats complains almost every time I sneeze. It’s a ritual begun by vocally-impaired southern belles. If a Georgia matriarch smiles, and says Bless you, or Bless your heart, you can translate it as F**k you very much.
4. Why do we wear a wedding ring on the third finger of the left hand?
Because, if we wore it on the middle finger, it would impair our ability to converse with taxi drivers and politicians.
5. What was the original use of wind chimes?
Obviously, to irritate those irritating neighbours.
6. What was the original purpose of bridesmaids?
It was a way to screw over poor Jacob, in the Bible, and get another 7 years of free labor from him, by substituting Rachel for Leah in the marriage-bed, following a drunken spirited wedding celebration.
7. What is the significance of the first butterfly of the year you see being white?
Probably that you live north of the Mason-Dixon Line, and you can thank your cotton-pickin’ lucky stars that you do.
That you’re going to have to listen to another fool, and probably kiss your pension goodbye.
9. Why is Good Friday a good day to cut your hair?
For forty days, you’ve been cut off from good food and drink, and maybe even sex. Cutting off a little hair is the thing you’ll feel and miss the least.
10. What should you give a friend who gives you a knife as a gift?
A wide berth! 😳