Pensitivity101 said it was Time For Hit Remakes this week. Who could have recorded the following (your nominations do not have to be singers) or had it for their signature tune?
Cinderella Rockefella
The San Francisco Boys Marching Band, with special guest Elton John, appearing on the Ru-Paul Drag Race TV show.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that!
2. I want it all
Vladimir Putin! 😳
3. I’m just a forlorn boy
Axe Body Spray bought the rights, and used the first eight bars in a commercial. I’m just a lonely boy…. and showed some Incel dork looking forlorn and dateless. Then the video moved on to show him dousing overly-liberal spraying himself with their toxic chemical miasma concoction, and suddenly he’s surrounded by 6 good-looking chicks, none of whom seem to mind the presence of the other five.
That advert campaign came to a sudden halt when truthinadvertising.com released a spoof version. It intercut portions of the original showing Young Reekie, the Axe-man, then it showed six hot females gasping for breath, and grasping for N95 COVID masks and running away, showing that they had a sense of smell, and a sense of taste – or distaste. 👿
4. Here comes the night
The Silicon Valley Bank Senior Management Choir. Then they do a Patreon PSA video, titled,
What Happens In LA – stays in our Golden Handshake accounts.
5. All I have to do is dream
Any new parent, especially new mothers. When the Terrible Twos Twins are simultaneously teething, the police are getting noise complaints from your neighbours – not about your dog, but because of the yowling young-‘uns. They never seem to achieve unconsciousness at the same time, so sleep is just something that you read about in a book one time, long, LONG ago.
6. Wand’rin’ Star
That was Edwin Starr, who had a hit back in ‘69 which asked, “What is the good of war?” Putin recently sent him a text that just read, “Posterity Project.”
Then he sent me one that absolutely, positively denied that I saw a Russian ZIL that read KGB, in last week’s alphabet soup. Good thing I don’t own a smart phone, and never got it. 🙄
I tried to listen to the Portishead version of it, but the Suicide Hotline called ME, and told me to turn it off. 😦
7. Rock On
Tina Turner has redone this old song. She’s 85! With a big front veranda, (and her house has one, too) and a mint julep, it has taken on a brand new meaning. 😉
8. Purple Rain
I have adopted this, at least temporarily, as my Life Motto. I have absorbed so much COVID sanitizer that when I pee, I also clean the toilet.
9. When will I see You Again?
This is the new anthem for Beijing. Between COVID masks, and the worst air quality in the word, it’s creating a lot of identity confusion, and causing some people who want to telephone someone they think they met on the street, to Wing the Wong number.
10. You can’t hurry love
It’s still $4.99 a minute, but when you get as old as me, sometimes you have to change the batteries in your hearing aids.
EH?? What am I wearing? Depends! On What?? On my crotch! I don’t think I trust an adult incontinence product named Depends any more. I want one called Fer Shur, or Boulder Dam.
Archon's Den 