Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed Fibbing Friday

Pensitivity101 had a mix of old and new questions last week:

What did the quick brown fox jump over?

Fourteen old manual typewriters in a row, all just to correct a pangram which described him as ‘brown,’ rather than red.
I’m Scottish, damn it, and I manage a haggis restaurant, not a bloody curry shop!  🙄

What were the Window Cleaner’s confessions?

That he was so busy checking his status on all the social media platforms, that he never thought to look into the offices, to see who was doing what…. or whom.  😳

What was The Mad Hatter’s true occupation?

Starbucks barista/social influencer

Why did Cinderella lose her glass slipper?

So that she wouldn’t end up like the female college student, still living at home.  When she returned from a date one night, her Father asked her why her shoe was all wet and muddy.  She said her Tinder match-up drove her WAAAYYY out into the country, in a deluge, and told her to come across, or walk home.  Dad asked why only one shoe was muddy.  She replied that she changed her mind.
I do not believe the myth that rape is impossible because a female with her skirt up can run faster than a man with his trousers down.

Why do people in old TV shows and movies spend so much time sitting on their front porch?

Because they’ve been sitting on their back porches for so long, that they’re welded to the couch – the chair – the porch swing.

What happened to the three little pigs?

Souvlaki!  😉  Gotta go.  Time for supper.

What is Air Force One?

Help, I’ve been elected, and I can’t get up.

The most powerful man on Earth!  The leader of the Free World – right after he’s had his Alzheimer’s treatment.

Stair-lifts drive me up the wall!  🙄


Who brings the Easter Eggs?

What goes Hippity-Hop through the mud??
The Easter Pig!

Who was Harvey?

Yesterday, upon the stair
I met a giant rabbit who wasn’t there.
He wasn’t there again today.
I wish that giant, imaginary bunny would go away.

What is quick silver?

That’s what The Lone Ranger said to his horse when he needed to visit the powder room.  Apparently the mesas in the American west were formed by erosion from Indian tribes who didn’t have Porta-Potties.  😳


12 thoughts on “Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed Fibbing Friday

  1. I got lost on all the negatives in the glass slipper story. So are you saying a man with his pants down CAN outrun a woman with her skirts up? Or is the man Scottish, so they’re BOTH running with their skirts up? 😉

    I thought Harvey was a poltergeist. He’s the one making the knocking noises around the house. They even named a drink after him. I think it was the screwdriver …. 🙄

    Technically, Air Force One is not an item, it’s a place. Any airplane that the president is on, is Air Force One. (I knew this BEFORE Harrison Ford explained it to the world.) So, technically, a dowdy old Stearman with Ol’ Joe in the back would be Air Force One. (Personally, I think every President should have to go up in a twin-seat P-51, with a maniac pilot. If the Pres doesn’t hurl, he gets sworn in. As for my druthers, I’ll take the RIO seat in an F-14, still the sexiest aircraft ever made! (The P-47 comes a close second, followed by the SR-71. Problem is, I stand an equal chance of riding along in ANY of those birds, sad to say. 😦 ))

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Garfield Hug says:

    As always a funny read for me. Thanks for a fun Friday

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Love the stairlift! Great answers (as usual). Thanks for joining in (and did you enjoy supper?)

    Liked by 1 person

  4. ghostmmnc says:

    hee hee so funny-all of them 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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