A history lesson from Pensitivity101.
- Why was the Mona Lisa smiling that enigmatic smile?
Because she got her hair done, just in time for the portrait.
2. Who painted The Laughing Cavalier?
Actually, it was Lenny, from Rodrigo’s Painting and Decorating, but it wasn’t his fault. If the horse’s ass rider hadn’t been yucking it up, and had been paying more attention to where he was going, instead of his Smart Phone, he wouldn’t have walked under Lenny’s ladder.
3. As per the song why was the Policeman laughing?
Because his unmarried daughter had just told him that she was pregnant with twins, and he knew that she had never been on a double date in her life.
4. Who sang ‘I started a Joke?’
That was Chris Rock, just before Will Smith got up and slapped him.
5. From which film did Little April Shower come from?
It was a porno flick, titled Golden Memories.
6. What was the family harvesting in the Panorama programme on April 1st 1957?
That was spaghetti, but it was a meager crop, because spaghetti trees do not do well in England. The only things the UK has in abundance, are pea-soup fogs, and Carry On movies. The Italian TV networks seemed to have no reason to boast about their bumper crops of penne, and rotini. And the trees near the Mediterranean shore were laden with lots of juicy calamari.
7. Who played the Court Jester?
That was Richard Moll, playing bailiff, Bull Shannon, in the hilarious TV series, Night Court. Oh, the rest of the cast were amusing, but Bull brought a serious silliness to his character, like the time he tried to stop an escaping male tween. He jumped out in front of him in the corridor, and pointed his finger at the kid, who said, “Yeah??! Waddya gonna do with that?” Bull replied, “Poke a 4-inch hole in your forehead if you don’t stop.”
8. Why are Jokers wild?
Because they think that they are hilarious, but no-one else does, or takes them seriously until someone has been injured. The video for vocal group, Home Free’s version of Castle On The Hill is a sad example. The she of the featured couple is the worst. She steals toilet paper from an outhouse, before her he is finished, convinces him to climb over a locked gate, to TP the tree in someone’s back yard, pushes him backward off a dock into shallow water at the edge of a small lake, ignoring possible rocks or submerged branches, and ends by handling fireworks and shooting roman candles at each other. What fun!! Adding another entry to the Darwin Awards list. 😯
9. In which country is April 1st officially a bank holiday?
That would be Lichtenstein. It’s a land-locked little country, high up in the Alps where you can get a Flag Of Convenience for your ocean-going ships, to evade avoid onerous restrictions, such as high taxes, safety regulations, and minimum-wage laws. The entire country is scarcely larger than the parking lot of a good-sized McDonalds, but they manage to shoe-horn in dozens of discreet, don’t ask – don’t tell, financial institutions, where movie stars, drug lords, and tin-horn African despots hide their ill-gotten riches and filthy lucre.
10. If today is your birthday, what star sign are you?
He took her for a car-ride, and showed her a sign that said, Yield.
She showed him one that read, Refuse.