Flash Fiction #273

PHOTO PROMPT © Bradley Harris

BETWEEN HEAVEN AND HELL

The joys of being middle management.
The big bosses shit on you – and Labor rubs it in.
On a clear day, you can see – this job stretching into infinity.

In 9 To 5, Dolly Parton thought she deserved a fat promotion.
My boss said, “Promotion??!  You’re lucky I pay you a salary.  If I’d wanted a Vice-President, I’d have hired a Vice-President – my son.  Now get back to expediting shipments”

Four years to retirement.
Three more years to retirement, then I’m going to take my well-earned pension and savings, and move to Aruba.

I’ll have a Caribbean rum punch, please.

***

To join the fun and become a Friday Fictioneer, go to Rochelle’s Addicted to Purple site and use her Wednesday photo as a prompt to write a complete 100 word story.

Flash Fiction #272

PHOTO PROMPT © Brenda Cox

NARROW-GAUGE ONE-TRACK-MIND

The American Military had to assign rocket scientist, Werner von Braun a driver, when he was late for a meeting – which he called!

Concerned officials eventually located him at a traffic light, with his foot on the car’s brake.  He had had an idea, and his mind had taken him somewhere other than his meeting.  The light was green just as they arrived, and he was oblivious to the traffic that was flowing past him in all directions.

My brain, with its three squirrels running on two wheels, envies him his ability to concentrate.  I occasionally need a minder also.

***

Go to Rochelle’s Addicted to Purple site and use her Wednesday photo as a prompt to write a complete 100 word story.

Flash Fiction #271

PHOTO PROMPT © Dale Rogerson

Hey guys!  Where you going with the Christmas tree??  Are we having a Canadian equivalent to Guy Fawkes Day – over in the park or something?

Nah, we’re taking it back to Costco, where we bought it.

Uh…  Why?

‘Cause they have a money-back guarantee.

Aaannnnd??!

Well, it’s obviously defective.

How can a Christmas tree be defective – besides, it’s almost New Year.

I didn’t get the new PlayStation that I asked for!
Yeah, and I didn’t get the smart phone that I wanted.
And I didn’t get the snowboard I asked for.

We’ll use the refund to buy pizza.  Wanna come?

***

Go to Rochelle’s Addicted to Purple site and use her Wednesday photo as a prompt to write a complete 100 word story.

***

Flash Fiction # 270

PHOTO PROMPT © Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

LOOKIN’ BACK TO SEE

What’s the best part of the Christmas season?  Seeing it in the rear-view mirror on Boxing Day.

Christmas sales start the same day as leftover Halloween candy.  It just never ends.  There’s no diversity.

Scrooge had the right idea.  He was just a little too enthusiastic.  I wouldn’t beat Tiny Tim to death with his own crutch, but I would prefer supermarket Muzak to play Elvis, singing Blue Hawaii, rather than Blue, Blue Christmas.

My name is Phil, and I live in Punxutawney.  I am not related to three hula hoop Chipmunks, and I ain’t comin’ out till February 2nd.

***

Go to Rochelle’s Addicted to Purple site and use her Wednesday photo as a prompt to write a complete 100 word story.

Flash Fiction #27 – Redux

In the lead-up to Christmas, Hanukah, Kwanzaa, etc., Rochelle has graciously granted us the exemption from straining our brains too much.  I’m taking advantage of the offer to reach waaayy back into my files, and republish this unpolished gem.

PHOTO PROMPT – Copyright – Claire Fuller

YOU OUGHTA BE IN PICTURES

Richie had a real mania for anything related to films.  He’d even got an autograph from some kid who held a clapper stick.  He wasn’t hard to convince to come along on an artifact hunting expedition, but, the further we got from the city, the more reluctant he became.

“Why are we way out here?  There’s nothing connected to films in this run-down little village!”

“Sure there is.  They filmed some of the Transformers movies here” I replied.  “See there.  That’s the changing room for Optimus Prime.  Maybe you could get a tailpipe, or a tire for your rec-room wall.”

***

Go to Rochelle’s Addicted to Purple site, and use her weekly photo as a prompt to write a complete 100 word story.

Flash Fiction # 269

PHOTO PROMPT © Roger Bultot

SLEEPLESS IN SEATTLE

Ten in the bed, and the little one said, “Roll over!  Roll over.”
They all rolled over, and one fell out.

We started with a double bed.  I don’t like the word “Obese.” Good eating made us corpulent, so we bought a Queen-sized.

We had a dog, which was not allowed on the bed, then we got two puppies who were allowed up, but are no longer puppies.  Recently, a cold and lonely cat has added himself to the nightly pile.

There’s hardly room for my legs, and it’s almost impossible to roll over.  Somebody move, before I fall out.

***

Go to Rochelle’s Addicted to Purple site and use her Wednesday photo as a prompt to write a complete 100 word story.

Flash Fiction #268

PHOTO PROMPT © Dale Rogerson

UNSECURED LOAD

Without any justification, the Bible-thumper continued to pile up his unproven claims.

The Atheist has no belief.
He believes everything you do, minus your God claim.

He despises religion.
Some do.  Many despise what the Religious do to those outside their circle.

He knows nothing about Christians.
He knows nothing about the Bible.

Yet complains about the number of ‘former clergy’ who are now Atheists.

Hates Christianity, but admits its benefits.
A lie can make you feel good.  The truth shall set you free.

He keeps himself from knowing the truth about God.
Deny, accuse: we still see your insecurity.

***

Go to Rochelle’s Addicted to Purple site and use her Wednesday photo as a prompt to write a complete 100 word story.

Flash Fiction #267

PHOTO PROMPT © Jennifer Pendergast

WHY IS A MOUSE WHEN IT SPINS?

Please ensure mind is in motion before engaging mouth.

I’m tryin’ to think, but nuthin’s happenin’!

Did I actually have my shit together in my youth, and only now is it coming unravelled quicker than a knitted sock the cat found?

Or was I always this spun, and I have just finally achieved clarity?

Old age is like waking from an epic drunk, on someone else’s couch.  It takes at least an hour for reality to come into sharp focus.

Do not operate heavy any equipment while under the influence.  Squirrel-brain is normal.  Afternoon naps are a proven effective treatment.

***

Go to Rochelle’s Addicted to Purple site and use her Wednesday photo as a prompt to write a complete 100 word story.

Flash Fiction #266

PHOTO PROMPT © Brenda Cox

THE WILD WEST

And that, ladies and gentlemen, concludes today’s Tourist Tram Trip to the Potsdam Paintball Palace.  Please follow the umpire to your left.  He is not a forensic technician, investigating a murder.  Please turn in the protective eye wear that you were issued.  You may keep your paper safeguard suits.  Any bruises incurred, should fade in about a week.  Tomorrow, they will be colors that match your suits.

For those of you not already sufficiently spun, you may take a complementary ride on our Pinwheel Carousel.

(Crazy Americans!  We have restaurants, history and art museums.  They come here to shoot guns??!)  🙄

***

Go to Rochelle’s Addicted to Purple site and use her Wednesday photo as a prompt to write a complete 100 word story.

Flash Fiction #265

PHOTO PROMPT © Dale Rogerson

UNDER THE BIG…. DISAPPOINTMENT

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and all non-specifically-gendered LGBTQ+ persons – welcome to the first All-P.C. Circus.

Rather than cotton candy, hot-dogs and caramel corn, we are providing kale salads and frozen, whipped tofu in a chia-based cone.

Instead of trained seals and lions, we have a solar-powered Jumbotron, showing happy animals living in harmony in the wild.

Midgets have been replaced by stature-challenged roustabouts holding colorful posters showing global warming and extinct species.

Our daring high-diver will leap from his lofty ivory tower into two feet of WOKE.

No Snowflakes will be melted during the presentation of our show.

***

Go to Rochelle’s Addicted to Purple site and use her Wednesday photo as a prompt to write a complete 100 word story.