WOW #45

Sandal

Today’s program is brought to you by pompous arrogance, and by the letter DUH! Bert and Ernie are out getting wasted at a gay bar, and Oscar the Grouch has battened down the lid of his condo garbage can. Since I couldn’t come up with a story for the phallic-symbol photo at Rochelle’s this week, Elmo is tickled that it’s up to me to tell you about the word

Ultracrepidarian

(uhl-truh-krep-i-DAYR-ee-uhn)
Adjective:
-Pertaining to one who is talking about things beyond the scope of their knowledge.
Noun:
-A person who gives opinions and advice on matters that they know little about.

This word was coined by the essayist William Hazlitt in 1819. From Latin “ultra” (beyond) + “crepidarius” (shoemaker), from “crepida” (sandal). Earliest documented use: 1819.

Donald Trump

This word comes from the same base that we get the English word creep. The next time you see some creep who doesn’t know a Red State from a Blue one, or thinks that the budget will balance itself, “from the heart out,” running his mouth while his brain is only idling, you’ll have another useful word to call him.

Trudeau

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Hah-ppily Married

Wedding Cake Figures

Thomas says to his best friend Davis, ‘You know,
I reckon I’m about ready for a vacation, only this
year I’m gonna do it a little different.

The last few years, I took your advice as to
where to go.

Two years ago you said to go to Hawaii; I went
to Hawaii, and my wife Julia got pregnant.

Then last year, you told me to go to the Bahamas.
I went to the Bahamas, and Julia got pregnant again.’

Davis says, ‘So what you gonna do different this year?’

Thomas says, ‘This year, I’m taking Julia with me!’!

***

“Mom, I’m dating a man.”

“Whom, sweetheart?”

“Mike the mailman.”

“Mike the mailman? But he could be your father!”

“But mom, age is just a number.”

“Sweetheart, I don’t think you understand.”

==========

I work with a Chinese guy called Kim and one time at a work function,

We were having a drink and I said to him, “Do you ever get fed up of us Westerners saying that all Chinese people look the same”?

He replied, “Kim’s at the bar getting drinks, I’m his wife”

==========

A weeping woman bursts into her hypnotherapist’s office and declares, “Doctor, I have been faithful to my husband for 15 years, but yesterday I broke that trust and had an affair! The guilt is killing me. I just want to forget that it ever happened! Can you make me forget?”
The hypnotherapist rolls his eyes, and says under his breath, “Oh, brother.  Not again …!”

***

IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHO REALLY LOVES YOU

Put your partner, your cat and your dog in the trunk of your car for an hour. When you open it up again, who’s happy to see you?

***

So it’s okay for the cat to run away and hide under the bed when company comes, but when I do it, I’m being antisocial.

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Moses was the first person with a tablet to download data from the cloud.

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Feefiphobia is a chronic fear of giants.

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If laziness were an Olympic sport, I’d come in fourth so that I didn’t have to walk up to the podium.

***

I do weights for muscle health, cardio for heart health….and chocolate for mental health.

 

WOW #37

Newspaper

All opinions expressed in this blog-post are not of the management, but solely those of the author…and, in MY opinion, the Word Of the Week

TEMERARIOUS

is arty, and pretentious.

I was thrilled to find it, although less thrilled to find that I was not already aware of it.  I was correct to deduce that it was the adjective version of the noun ‘Temerity’, which means audacity, effrontery, foolhardiness, reckless boldness, or rashness.

Without really thinking about it, (Oh, Damn!) I always assumed (making an ASS out of U and ME) that the adjective form would be ‘temeritous,’ but never had the need or occasion to use it.   I was not disturbed to see it used by a newspaper advice columnist.  Lord knows, I only have a Grade 12 education.  This lady may have a string of letters behind her name.

Eleven letters and five syllables in it, I was disturbed to see it used by a newspaper advice columnist, for people whose largest piece of vocabulary might be ‘Wal-Mart.’

I always advise to write to the level of the anticipated readership.  If I had to go and look this up, I’m sure that there was a passel of confused John Deere drivers.

Now that I’ve entrusted this ostentatious, mostly useless, $8.47 word to you, try to be careful with it.  Please keep out of the reach vocabulary of children.  Perhaps reserve it only for TED discussions.

As my Father used to say, before they changed the name of the country to Ethiopia, ‘Abyssinia’ later.  😉

I Know Spit From Spamola

Spam 2

I haven’t done a post about ‘interesting’ spam for a while, because I haven’t received any interesting spam for a while.  Same-old, same-old!  I decided to dig this old one out.  This interesting lady popped up in the middle of a comment thread about something else entirely.

***

Hi. Would you please write a post about how easy (or hard) it would be for my ex-husband to hack into my phone or computer? Also what I would need to do to ensure my phone and computer are secure?

Thanks, your advice and help would be much appreciated.

Penny@gmail.com

July 3, 2015 at 11:09 pm  (Edit)

I’ll get right on that. While I’m busy protecting your phone, would you use it to contact the Canada Revenue Agency, and get them to double my pension?   😳

      • Penny says:

July 4, 2015 at 12:21 pm  (Edit)

the most logical and likely explanation is that you are my ex-husband and all that time I thought I was talking to someone else it was actually him fucking with my head. What a tangled web.

Spam

***

I don’t think I gained a new follower, as much as a new stalker!  😯  I wish her and her phone and computer the best of luck against her evil Ex.  I can’t imagine why anyone would want to harass such a logical, undemanding person.

Have you had an interesting, entertaining spam recently? Feel free to share it in the comments.