An architect, an artist and a programmer were
discussing whether it was better to have a wife
or a mistress.
The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife,
building a solid foundation for an enduring
The artist said he enjoyed time with his
mistress, because of the passion and mystery he
The programmer said, “I prefer to have both.”
Programmer: “Yeah. If you have a wife and a
mistress, they will each assume you are spending
time with the other woman, and you can go to the
office and get some work done.”
A young couple gets married, and the groom asks
his bride if he can have a dresser drawer of his
own that she will never open. The bride agrees.
After 30 years of marriage, she notices that his
drawer has been left ajar. She peeks in and sees
3 golf balls and $6,000.
She confronts her mate with her findings, and
asks for an explanation. He explains “Every time
I was unfaithful to you, I put a golf ball in the
She figures 3 times in 30 years isn’t bad. But
what about the $6,000? He explains “Whenever I
got a dozen golf balls, I sold ’em!”
Any time four New Yorkers climb into the same cab without an argument, there’s been a bank robbery.
Men are like mascara. They run at the first sign of emotion.
Losing a wife is hard. In my case, it was damned near impossible.
I had to divorce my husband for religious reasons,
I’m a catholic and living with him is hell.
A young woman went to her doctor complaining of
pain. “Where are you hurting?” asked the doctor.
“You have to help me, I hurt all over”, said the
woman. “What do you mean, all over?” asked the
doctor, “Be a little more specific.”
The woman touched her right knee with her index
finger and yelled, “Ow, that hurts.” Then she
touched her left cheek and again yelled, “Ouch!
That hurts, too.” Then she touched her right
nipple, “Ow, even that hurts”, she cried.
The doctor looked at her thoughtfully for a
moment and asked, “Are you a natural blonde?”
“Why, yes,” she said.
“I thought so,” said the
doctor, “You have a broken finger.”