’22 A To Z Challenge – M

 

 

 

 

 

 

Forgotten Words – Forgotten Attitudes

What do we want?

GOOD MANNERS

When do we want them?

Right now!

Are we likely to get them??!

F*&@ no!

In a world where the words we use, and our attitudes, are supposedly of utmost importance, words are regularly passing out of use from the English language.  We become dumbed down intellectually, ethically, and spiritually. Here are a few words which have been forgotten, though they were in regular use just a few decades ago. Interestingly, they’re all related in meaning:

Modesty

Humility

Courtesy

Honesty

“I pray thee then, write me as someone who loves his fellow man.”  (Abou ben Adhem)

Donald Trump is gone, although, if he can evade the FBI on his magpie collection of classified documents, he’s threatening to return in 2024.  While he facilitated much of the above, and vindicated it to a too-large swath of the American population, he was not the cause of it.  He was merely a visible symptom of the cultural rot.

As ye sow, so shall ye reap.

Be nice to each other out there.  Okay?  The life you save may be your own.

Thus endeth the reading of the first lesson.  More of the usual drivel soon.

Dirty To Fibbing Friday

The last of the career diplomats having finally vacated their all-expenses-paid, five-star Conference on how to waste taxpayers money, pensitivity101 was able to sweep up another list of esoteric words for us to test our imaginations on.

  1. What are you if you are Mabsoot?
    CONFUSED!!!
    One translation program says that it means extendedness – like a family clan – in Urdu.
    One claims that, in Arabic, or Hebrew slang, it means a happy person. Another insists that it means a life-lesson and challenge. We would have to know just which delegate spewed this gem out.  Was it a Little-Sheet-Head Camel-Chaser pull-start, or a curry-flavored, forehead-dotted push-start??
  2. What does it mean to nidificate?

That’s the scientific term for the Nesting Instinct that some pregnant women get.  What is the Nesting Instinct? It is the name given to the distinctive urge to clean, tidy, and organize that occurs during pregnancy. One of the many pregnancy symptoms that they experience, the nesting instinct generally kicks in around the fifth month of pregnancy, however it can also occur much earlier or much later.  Of course, some women have that instinct all the time.  A chocolate box, and a chocolate Lab dog, are better companions and conversationalists, than a lot of men.

  1. What is a pabouch?

It is a baby, or the way a baby was carried by Indigenous American women as they performed little, day-to-day tasks, that didn’t involve being big man around the teepee.  Everything old is new again, so many modern women are using the same system, although I expect the Woke/Cancel Culture Vultures to soon start carping about Cultural Appropriation.

  1. What is quab?
    It’s the sound that a Danish duck makes. It’s a matter of accent. Norwegian ducks, like the one that Hagar the Horrible owns, pronounce it ‘kvack.’
  2. What is tacenda?
    It’s the new Iceland/Thai fusion food. Essentially, it’s a Sno-Cone with hot sauce.
  3. What does it mean to be ulotrichous?
    It’s a recently-coined neologism describing the actions and attitudes of the newly-formed Woke/Cancel Culture Thought Police. It is being judgmental and Holier-than-thou, with a side order of time travel. Remember when your teacher threatened that, “This will go on your permanent record!”??!  Well, it’s all coming true!  People are being tried, convicted, and sentenced in Star Chamber, kangaroo-courts of public opinion, of 1984-style thought-crimes – things they wrote and said, decades ago, before learning better, and changing.  😯
  4. What is waftage?
    It is a measure of how far and fast a bean and jalapeno burrito fart will spread in a closed room. If the dog gets up and glares at you, and your girlfriend’s eyes are teary, even if you’re not watching Eat, Pray, Love, you have good ventilation.
  5. What does it mean to yaff?
    That is a type of left-handed Lithuanian, or inverse, knitting, where the pattern appears on the inside. It’s not as pretty, but it is claimed to be warmer. Do not confuse this with TINK – which is KNIT backwards – where you have to rip out about 26 rows, because you made a mistake back there, and if you don’t go back to correct it, Aunt Eileen’s jumper is going to end up looking like a Moebius Strip.
  6. What is to yuke?
    To yuke is to play the uke, or ukulele. When exploring European sailing ships began stopping at the Hawaiian Islands, individual sailors sometimes traded hand-made, miniature 4-string guitars, or lutes, to the natives.

Sadly, they usually didn’t stay around long enough to explain about tuning them.  The natives developed a slack-sting playing style.  Like the oboe (below), and the Chinese two-string bowed banjo, they produce an eardrum-piercing, atonal cacophony, only exceeded when Fran Drescher played The Nanny.

  1. What is zabaglione?

It is a Music College in Parma, Italy, where the only instrument they teach is the mournful oboe.  I don’t know how much career opportunity there is in always being ‘The Duck’ in the Peter and the Wolf Symphony.  The rest of the orchestra claim that they use the oboe to tune up to.  I think they’re just trying to drown out that awful noise.

Marriage Can Be Humorous

The wife and I were sitting around the breakfast table one lazy Sunday morning.  I said to her, “If I were to die suddenly, I want you to immediately sell all my stuff.”  “Now why would you want me to do something like that?” she asked.  “I figure that you would eventually remarry and I don’t want some other asshole using my stuff.”  She looked at me and said: “What makes you think I’d marry another asshole?”

***

A man walked into the Lingerie Department of Macy’s in New York City.  He tells the saleslady, “I would like a Jewish bra for my wife, size 34B. With a quizzical look the saleslady asked, “What kind of bra?  He repeated “A Jewish bra. She said to tell you that she wanted a Jewish bra, and that you would know what she wanted. “Ah, now I remember,” said the saleslady. “We don’t get as many requests for them as we used to. Mostly our customers lately want the Catholic bra, or the Salvation Army bra, or the Presbyterian bra.” Confused, and a little flustered, the man asked “So, what are the differences?” The saleslady responded. “It is all really quite simple. The Catholic bra supports the masses. The Salvation Army lifts up the fallen, and the Presbyterian bra keeps them staunch and upright.” He mused on that information for a minute and said: “Hmmm. I know I’ll regret asking, but what does the Jewish bra do?” “A Jewish bra,” she replied, “makes mountains out of molehills.”

***

The wife crashed the car today – again.  She told the police that the guy she ran into was on his cellphone, and drinking a beer.
The police told her that he can do whatever he wants in his own living-room.

***

The COVID conspiracy-theory nuts insist that the Government is trying to inject nano-bots into us to track and trace all of us.

The government has denied this.  They say that they would never do that to law-abiding citizens.  They know who the trouble-makers are by their phone conversations and Internet browser histories and credit card histories and the satellite imagery of their houses, and data extracted from their birth records, passports, immigration and emigration records; so rest assured, they have identified who not to track. They only track all the other poor fools.

***

Last night, my friends and I went to a Ladies’ Night Club.  One of the girls wanted to impress the rest of us, so she pulled out a ten-dollar bill.  When the male dancer came over to us, she licked the bill, and stuck it to one of his ass cheeks.

Not to be outdone, another friend pulled out a twenty-dollar bill.  She called the guy back, licked the twenty, and stuck it to the other butt cheek.  In another attempt to impress the rest of us, a third friend whipped out a $50 bill, called the dancer back, and licked the bill.  I was worried about the way things were going, but she just stuck it to one of his butt-cheeks.  My relief was short-lived.

Seeing how things were going, the guy gyrated over to me.  Now all the attention was on me, and the guy was egging me on to top the $50.  My brain was churning as I reached for my wallet!!?  What could I do?

The woman in me took over.  I took out my debit card, swiped it down the crack of his ass, grabbed the eighty bucks, and went home.

***

I worked with a guy who just irritated everyone in the shop.  Whether it was the tone of his voice or his condescending attitude, we all steered clear.  He must have suspected that he was annoying, because he asked a co-worker, “Why does everybody take an instant dislike to me?”
The guy replied, “It saves time.”

Poles Apart

I may disagree with what you have to say, but I shall defend, to the death, your right to say it.
Voltaire

America is lost, because of all the things that America already has lost – empathy, acceptance, sympathy, good manners, ego control, anger management, social justice, patience, understanding, and public civility and discourse.

It has become a nation of whining, exclusionist, pushy, cancel-culture, entitled, thugs.  The attitude is everywhere – in politics, religion and day-to-day social interaction.  The give-and-take is all gone, replaced by take! take! take!  They advocate #MeToo, but it’s all Me, Me, Me!

The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any.

No-one takes the time to consider others as individuals, especially ones with valid opinions of their own.  Everyone else is just reduced to labels.  It is far easier to shout names at people, than it is to critically think.  Tribalism runs rampant.

Woke: a selfish ridiculous attitude towards anything, by people who feel undervalued and have the need to express themselves obnoxiously without regard for others.

Their guiding principal is “never let a crisis go to waste.”  Only in times of a pandemic, a national quarantine, or volatile race relations, can the new, upscale, leftist revolutionaries use fear to push through policies that no-one could stomach in normal times.

They hate dissent.  They try to destroy anyone who questions their media-spun hoaxes.  Truth is their enemy, and fear is their weapon.  George Orwell warned about 1984.  It’s a little late, but 1984 is upon us.

A hundred years ago, politicians referred to members of other parties as, The Honorable Member, or, The Respected Mister ….  They were Opponents – equals; they just didn’t want to do things ‘our way.’   Soon though, Honor and Respect disappeared.  Those who had been Opponents, became Adversaries.  In the 1960s and ‘70s, Adversaries became Enemies.  There’s no Go along, to get along.  Death threats are now the accepted form of political statement.

Over at the Temple of Peace, Love, and Acceptance, things aren’t any better.  A Christian College has been denied accreditation as a school by the Department of Education, rendering any diplomas invalid.  Their publicly posted mission statement clearly states who they will discriminate against.  An Op-Ed letter quoted the president, saying that he loved everybody, but would not accept that Catholics, Muslims and LGBTQ+ views were truthful, and then ironically demanded equality and fairness.  I was going to fire off a superheated rebuttal, but didn’t, when I realized that I could boil my reply down to two words.  YOU FIRST!!

There’s another Civil War brewing in America.  This time, it won’t be the North against the South – exactly.  It may become a schism between the Red States, and the Blue States, or the Bible Belt against the Quietly Spiritual.  I would hate to see that happen, because the only thing that keeps public culture safely in the middle of the social bell curve, is the fact that each side balances the other out.  If there’s a split, no matter which side you opt for, with the best of intentions, the brakes are off.  It’s a long slide down that slippery slope.

We’ve lost the ability to disagree with one another, without trying to cancel each other out. Woke is the new religion.  Statues come down, and schools must be renamed.  It is the ultimate conceit to apply today’s truths retroactively.   Quite soon, a Theocracy or Oligarchy will form, which will make Nazi Germany or Communist Russia look like a day-spa.  It won’t be pretty, kids.  Be careful what you wish for.  Pandora’s box isn’t quite empty.   😯

WOW #32

Unicorn

Disneyfy

Definitions for Disneyfy              

to create or alter in a simplified, sentimentalized, or contrived form or manner: museums that have become Disneyfied to attract more visitors.

Origin of Disneyfy

Disneyfy is an Americanism formed from the name of Walt Disney, the cartoonist and moviemaker (1901-66), and the familiar verb suffix -fy. Disneyfy entered English in the second half of the 20th century.

In every aspect of human interaction, the social pendulum swings from too much of one thing, to too much of its opposite.  It was not long ago (historically) that those who deviated, even slightly, from the social norm, were punished with pain, imprisonment, and forced attitude re-adjustment.

It was good for society to move away from these cruel actions and attitudes.  Sadly though, the pendulum has now swung into the realm of unicorns, rainbows, Hello Kitty, and My Little Pony.  The Thought Police now insist that we cannot even have negative opinions and attitudes, especially toward Special Interest Groups like blacks, LGBTs, or illegal immigrants, much less express them, lest someone get their precious feelings hurt.

I believe that America has been Disnefied enough quite enough, thank you.  Within each of the special ‘protected species groups,’ and outside them, there are plenty of assholes who need to be called out.  I am still willing to call a spade a fucking shovel, to dig us out of this great pile of Politically Correct bullshit that’s been heaped on us.  Remember, Disney was the guy who gave us Fantasyland.

I’ll be back in a couple of days with some sensitive thoughts.  I expect to see you here, or I’ll unfriend you.  So there!  That’ll teach you.  😛