What’s It Worth?

I was just lounging in a big tub of nostalgia.  (Do I still have any on me?) 
When I was a kid, a dollar meant something, and there weren’t very many millionaires.

First, the farthing (quarter-penny) disappeared – then the half-pence – now, Canada’s penny is no more.  As inflation lops off the bottom, it piles more on top that we soon get used to.

I recently had the chance to re-watch the old movie, The Girl, The Gold Watch, And Everything.  The hero is accused of absconding with$27,000,000.  At first, I couldn’t understand the fuss that was being made.  Now, twenty-seven million is a nice piece of pocket-change.  As the embezzling Congressman said, “A million here – a million there – pretty soon it starts to add up.”  Pretty soon, mere millionaires are a dime-a-dozen.

The son dug out and lent me the John D. MacDonald book that the movie was based on.  He had the 1980, movie-novelization copy, but the book was originally written in 1962.  An online conversion site showed me that One 1962 Dollar – is worth $9.83 today.  The missing 27 million would be worth over a quarter of a $BILLION in 2021 – now that’s worth getting upset about.

This all reminded me of a television show that aired from 1955 to 1960, titled The Millionaire.  Each week, multi-millionaire John Beresford Tipton, had an agent GIVE a cashier’s cheque for $1,000,000 to someone he had chosen.  Tipton’s socio-psychological curiosity was the reason that the show then followed each recipient, to see what they did with the money.

One man who had lost his wife, was despondent, and convinced that he would never find such a love again.  He took a round-the-world cruise, met a sweet, young, available thing onboard, and it all worked out with soap-opera predictability.  One million, back then, would be the equivalent of $10/12 Million today.  The interest alone would accumulate so fast that they never need get off the ship, except to purchase a Rolls-Royce for each port.

The running gag in this show was that, like Charlie, in Charlie’s Angels, except for a hand passing off the cheque at the beginning of each show…. We never saw Tipton, and yet, when I went to research the show, there was a listing for Peter Frees – as Tipton

I had forgotten that voice actors get credits also.  Peter Frees is the most famous person that you’ve never seen.  He actually did three unseen voices during this series.  He has lent his dulcet tones to dozens of video games and dozens of animated movies.  His list of voice credits is longer than the late, great Mel Blanc – Ehhhhh, what’s up with that, Doc?

Bungling Burglars

Phone a Bungling Burglar!

A bungling burglar in the USA has been arrested after he left his mobile phone on charge at the house of one of his victims. The man was disturbed while rifling through rooms in the house in Washington DC and jumped out of a window to escape. Police searched the house later and were surprised to find a cell phone that didn’t belong to anyone at the house, charging in a socket. Officers called one of the numbers in his contacts, told them the phone owner had been involved in an accident and asked for his name. That led to the 25 year old man being arrested and later charged with ten burglaries.

Dutch Bungling Burglar

A stupid criminal was caught after he fell down a chimney while escaping over the roof of a house he had just broken into. Police in Maastricht, Holland, arrested the 33-year-old after being called out by the house owners who heard his calls for help. The man had tried to flee out of a roof window with his booty of cash and jewellery, but tumbled in the dark and got stuck inside the chimney.

Another Bungled Chimney Burglar Story

A burglar who got stuck in a chimney while trying to break in to a Los Angeles home has been jailed for two years. Bungling burglar Marco Antonio Espinoza was also ordered to pay the owners of the house more than $10,000 to repair the damage done when fire fighters freed him. When he was caught, he told the police that he was doing building work on the house.

Bagging A Burglar

A ‘would be’ robber had to drop his bank looting plans after he forgot to take with him a bag into which the stolen money could be put. Apparently, the young man in his 20’s, entered a local Chase Bank branch early on Monday morning and passed the cashier a piece of cardboard on which was written ‘Give me your money,’ reported the Detroit News. He told the bank teller to ‘hurry up,’ but when she asked him if he had a bag to put the money into he became flustered and confused and ran off without the cash.

The Bungled Get Away

The two criminal masterminds planned their heist carefully. They knew the courier would have a suitcase full of cash.  They waited for his car to pass, then pursued him at high speed, shooting at the vehicle until the courier was forced to pull over. Armed robbers made off with what they thought was a suitcase full of cash – they were in for a surprise. Back at their secret hideout, the bandits prepared to force the locks and spring the cash.  That’s when they noticed their plan had gone horribly wrong; instead of taking the money, they made off with a first aid kit. Police spokesman Johann Steinlitz said, ‘If there was an award for the dumbest crooks, they would certainly be in the running. ‘

Car Thief – Loser of the Week

A car thief who ran out of gas in rush hour traffic was arrested after police helped him push the stolen vehicle to the side of the road reports The Moscow Times.  Helpful officers in Moscow, Russia, were about to leave the scene and let Alexei Ashurin wait for breakdown services when they noticed the red 15 year old Volkswagen’s lock was broken and a screwdriver was sticking out of the ignition. After checking the number plate, they discovered the vehicle had been stolen and that Ashurin was wanted for a string of other motoring thefts.  He admitted to stealing the car and this stupid criminal is now facing up to two years in prison.

A Funny Magistrates Court Story

This hilarious story may make you laugh at the stupidity of some crooks.  We cannot, however, vouch for its veracity. A man arrived the magistrate’s court, he was charged with impersonating a policeman. On arrival he was wearing a blue baseball cap with the word ‘police’ on it; a fluorescent yellow jacket, with ‘police’ on it, he was carrying a truncheon, a can of CS spray, and he had blue flashing lights in his car. You will, no doubt wish to know how he came to be arrested. It apparently happened like this: he flagged down a car with two men in it, pulled them over and said ‘Police. You’re nicked.’ They answered, ‘No mate. You’re not police – we are.’ Funnily, he had stopped two off-duty detectives in an unmarked police car and so ended up in court. You could not invent a story like it.

Bungling Burglar From Mexico

Robbers broke into the Telefonica Movistar cell-phone store in Morelia, Mexico recently with the aim of stealing some mobile phones. In their haste to get away they grabbed the first phones that came to hand – hollow replicas, used normally for display purposes only. Employees explained that the bungling burglars overlooked real cell phones and cash in another part of the shop.

Surely One of The Dumbest Criminals:

A man who had spent 20 years in prison for bank robbery back in 1963 thought he would try again in 2003 in Spotsylvania County, Virginia, USA. He demanded and received several thousand dollars from two surprised bank cashiers and as he fled he spilled $100 notes in his wake as he attempted to stuff the cash into his pockets and get away. When he reached his hired getaway car this stupid criminal realized that he had locked his keys inside. This bungling burglar promptly took to his heels and fled the scene on foot followed by two passersby who grabbed him. The fleeing felon attempted to pull out his gun but failed, and shot himself in his leg but kept fighting his would be arresters; one of whom shot the suspect. The local police have charged the robber with 8 felonies, including robbery and 2 counts of attempted murder. The suspect was attended to in hospital and recovered. No, you couldn’t make it up

Happy Birthday 75

Click below to hear

Swedish chef happy birthday

Happy Birthday to me
Happy Birthday to me
Happy Birthdayyy dear Archon
Happy Birthday to me!

Happy or not, at my age, I’ll take any birthday that I can get. I almost can’t believe it. I’ve been hanging around this planet, making a pest of myself for ¾ of a century. I’ve seen Century 21 Real Estate become a reality. A 75^th birthday is something special to be celebrated. Not everyone gets to do it. I don’t plan to repeat the feat, although a recent study proved that people born later in the year have a better chance of living to be 100.

I felt that an extra, out-of-normal-sequence post was justified. All contributions gratefully accepted. Cash and checks (cheques) would be nice, but I will happily settle for visits, views, likes and comments.

Early August 1960, Detroit (Ferndale) MI
I am the handsome one on the left, not quite 6.
The sulky one on the right is my 3-year-old brother.
I’ve come a long way, Baby.

For those who may not have seen it, HERE is a further explanation of how I got here.

Paper Or Plastic?

 

That used to be the question when grocery stores asked how you wanted your purchases packed. Now, here in Canada, it could be the question of how you want your change.

In my Funny Money post of about a year ago, I mentioned that Canada was switching over from paper money, to bills made of polymer plastic.  Working from the Hundred, they’ve finally changed all the bills over, down to the Five, which is the smallest Canadian bill printed, since we replaced the One and Two-Dollar bills with coins several year ago.

Often kidded by Americans about our “Monopoly Money”, I thought they, and perhaps other non-Canadians, might like to see the changes.  These are the most recent, non-plastic 20s, 10s and 5s, first the fronts, and the backs.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

These are the new polymer versions, again, first fronts, then backs, showing the uneven-shaped clear strip, the security strip, and (hopefully) the holograms.  The first thing I found is that they “talk” to your computer/scanner, and refuse to resolve, to prevent color-copier counterfeiting – after the third try, and checking the computer, and then the scanner.  I finally had to use the digital camera, upload to the computer and hope that they publish.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

At our income levels, hundred-dollar bills don’t enter the house very often, but thanks to a son who lives at home and doesn’t have to rely on government pensions, and the wife’s stash from selling candles, we have the three most recent iterations of the fifty-dollar bill, the ten-year-old, pure-paper version, the modified version with the security strip, and the new, all-polymer edition, bottom to top.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Despite some snide, condescending, redneck comments about our cash, Canada doesn’t even come close to having the most flamboyant bills.  I have some very pretty, and colorful, foreign examples with my coin collection.  Perhaps later I could publish pictures of bills from places where it’s a good thing you’re already wearing sunglasses.