If you didn’t know yet, God is on Twitter. He has a few more things to say about the human condition, which He takes no blame or responsibility for.
In an ideal scenario, the President of The United States, and the worst person in the world, would be two different people.
I genuinely can’t remember making you all this stupid.
To paraphrase me: Being gay is not a choice.
Being an asshole is.
America: Where a black man can’t take a knee on a football field for 30 seconds, but a cop can take a knee on his neck for eight minutes.
Most people who doubt a woman’s claim of assault, do NOT doubt that I had a son who rose from the dead.
You should not vaccinate your children – unless you are absolutely sure that you want them to live.
Next time, no people.
There is life in outer space, and it is intelligent, and that’s why it is staying far from you.
If gay people are a mistake, they’re a mistake that I’ve made hundreds of millions of times, which proves I’m incompetent, and cannot be relied on for anything.
The idea that you evolved from apes is disgusting.
Isn’t it nicer to believe that you all descended from one couple and their incestuous children??!
Just because Jesus died for your sins doesn’t mean that you should keep committing them, assholes.
THE FIVE STAGES OF CLIMATE CHANGE
Give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day.
Teach a man to fish and he’ll contribute to the global over-depletion of the oceans.
So give him a salad, maybe??!
The answer to the question, “Can people really be that stupid?” is always yes!
If you can’t get along with CANADA, you’re not human.
Standing up for what you believe in isn’t a virtue, if what you believe in is awful.
I am now the most unverified account on Twitter, and the biggest unverified entity in the Universe.
150 different species go extinct every day.
You keep not being one of them.
Six feet away, or six feet under.
I apologise for this virus interrupting the global catastrophe already in progress.
Saying “guns don’t kill people” is like saying “defibrillators don’t save people.”
Artificial Intelligence is not a threat to Humanity. Natural stupidity is!
Somewhere in China, there’s a bat getting high-fives from every other animal he meets.
It’s only been a short time, but Steven Hawking has already proven, to My Face, that I don’t exist.
Marriage is between a man and a woman – except gay marriage, obviously.
The people who call out my name Sunday morning aren’t as much fun as the ones who call it out Saturday night.
These are not His final words, just the last ones in this post.