When you’re down by the sea
and an eel bites your knee….
….that’s a moray
Life without music….
….would b Flat
Decaf coffee is depresso
Reading while sunbathing….
….makes you, well, red
I had a Wookie steak last night….
….It was a little Chewy
Don’t let anyone call you average….
….That’s just mean
Kleptomaniacs always take things….
….literally
Huge fight at the local seafood diner….
….battered fish everywhere
Last week my doctor told me that I was going deaf….
….I haven’t heard from him since
Try resistance training….
….Refuse to go to the gym.
Whenever I feel blue….
….I start breathing again
I named my IPod Titanic….
….It’s synching now
The four seasons are all different….
….Summer warmer than others
A book hit my head….
….and I’ve only my shelf to blame
Bad puns….
….That’s how eye roll
Looking back….
….I really hurt my neck
If you are in it up to your ears….
….keep your mouth shut
Police toilet stolen!….
….Cops have nothing to go on.
Shenanigans….
….because life is more fun when you’re up to something
Can’t get up to vote?….
….You may have electile dysfunction
Do people in Australia….
….call the rest of the world ‘Up Over?’
I can’t believe it’s been a year…
….since I didn’t become a better person
I don’t have a Fit-Bit….
….but I do have some fat bits